Read my common app essay? Pretty please with cherry on top? :D

<p>Hey all!</p>

<p>Basically, I finished an essay in August and have been editing it for quite awhile. I like it a lot, and most of the people who have read it agree that it's a pretty good essay. However, this week, someone read it and said A. it lacked focus and purpose B. not detailed and unique enough. Thus, I decided to try my hand at another essay, this time written in second person and a pretty unique format imo.</p>

<p>Both of the essays are kind of risky atm, and I would really appreciate it if anyone can glance it over and tell me which they like better and offer some insight/critiques. I will be super duper happy if anyone will be willing to do this! </p>

<p>Thank you all so much in advance. </p>

<p>PM me let me have a look</p>

<p>bump!!! Would really appreciate an adult POV</p>

<p>I think that it’s important to keep this essay in perspective. The goal isn’t necessarily to write something unique and groundbreaking. Unless you have gone through an extremely unique experience that has shaped you as a person, to a certain extent, anything you write will be rehashed. If you are happy with your essay, recognize that you can express your important qualities and personality without writing the most complete essay ever. Extra details can actually bog down an essay. Your personality and individual touch will be the elements that will characterize your essay. Make sure that your essay really reflects you as a person, and don’t let anyone else edit out your personality.</p>

<p>@sungoose Thanks for the great advice! Would you be willing to take a look at my essay? </p>

<p>I’d be willing.</p>

<p>I can read and give feedback. </p>

<p>bump!! would really appreciate some more insights</p>