Read my essay please! :-)

<p>I'm a really bad writer, so this will probably be bad. :'(</p>

<p>Essay Question: Is apathy a problem in today's society?</p>

<p>Apathy is a growing problem in today's society. Instead of showing a steadfast passion for a cause, people decide to sit back and wait for the problem to disappear. The ability to stand up for something you believe in is a crucial character trait that is essential for every person to have. This view is further supported by the events encompassing the American Civil War and Dr. Martin Luther King's fight for equality.</p>

<p>The events and people in the Civil War show how vehement feelings towards a movement is beneficial. In the American Civil War president Abraham Lincoln gallantly fought long and hard to secure the emancipation of slaves in the United States as well as to stop the states in rebellion against the Union. Rather than having feelings of indifference, Abraham Lincoln was a determined leader. He confidently sent out the Emancipation Proclamation which declared all slaves in the states in rebellion to be free. With intense feelings for their cause, the Union army triumphed. The passage of the 13th, 14th, and 15th amendment followed the Union's victory. These amendments guaranteed that all United States citizens had equal rights. All of president Abraham Lincoln's victories were accomplished with perseverance and strong emotions toward his cause. If Abraham Lincoln lacked enthusiasm and emotion towards his goals, he wouldn't have accomplished as much as he did. </p>

<p>The effects of intense passion towards a cause can also be found in Martin Luther King's quest for equality amid the Jim Crow laws, racial segregation, and unequal treatment of blacks. Martin Luther King is a perfect example of how persistence and an optimistic enthusiasm for a cause can being out positive outcomes. Even through the many lives lost for the cause, he still persisted to keep going. He was not indifferent towards the cause; he faced the problem head on. The March on Washington that Martin Luther King organized shows how having a strong position on an issue can be rewarding a bring out immense change. His March on Washington essential led to the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which authorized the government to desegregate public facilities. Through hard work and passion towards his movement Martin Luther King was able to succeed. </p>

<p>Apathy is never a good trait to have, and the increase pf apathetic thought in today's society is a growing problem. Leaders such as Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King show us that being passionate about a cause is the only thing that can bring out a positive change.</p>

<p>You not really answering the prompt about whether it is a problem today. </p>

<p>You stray into why it may be important, because of the success of MLK and Abe Lincoln.</p>

<p>I think you should start over, think about the prompt more. Think about people you know who may not be apathetic. Then think about people who are apathetic. </p>

<p>You are not a bad writer! I see that you can articulate well. Just need to change of the ideas being presented. They need to make sense and relate to the prompt. :)</p>