<p>This is the first draft so please critique it to the max! I will gladly read your essay in exchange. PM for my essay! :)</p>
<p>This is for the first prompt:</p>
<p>“Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.”</p>
<p>I feel the start of my essay is strong but dies out towards the end, if any could give me advice on how to transition properly that would greatly be appreciated 
!!</p>
<p>PM it to me</p>
<p>Thanks a ton!</p>
<p>I’d love to take a look.</p>
<p>I can read it!</p>
<p>I cant read it!</p>