Real kids vs. SuperKid

Prep School Admissions
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<p>Yesterday, I watched the movie "Admission," in which the protagonist is a Princeton admissions officer. To illustrate her work, she is shown reading through some applications - all with stellar grades and SAT scores and activities and accomplishments - while the applicants' images appear before her and go <em>poof</em> as they are rejected. </p>

<p>The applicants' lists of scores and grades and activities reminded me of the "chances" posts in this forum. Yet while I can understand (to some extent) the burnished resumes of brilliant and accomplished 17-year-olds who hope to attend elite colleges, it is much harder to wrap my mind around the concept of 13-year-olds looking at themselves in these terms and packaging themselves into these "chances" resumes.</p>

<p>First of all, how do kids ever do most of these things by the age of 13? My children's middle school has very few extracurricular activities available, and it is a large school in a good district. We have fostered their interests through lessons and classes outside school, but haven't pushed them. We aren't big on "overscheduling."</p>

<p>My son, who wants to go to boarding school, is a very bright kid. Based on his past performance on standardized tests and on SSAT practice tests, he is likely to score well into the 90s on the SSAT. But he's no genius and he has doesn't have much of a "resume" at the age of 13; he's just a bright kid with a great personality. Yes, he has some things to fill in the application blanks; he's reasonably athletic and is good at the sport he loves most, he is musical (albeit uninterested in music), and he has had some achievement in his areas of interest, although that has been limited by the unavailability of certain activities at his school. </p>

<p>But when I look at the lists provided by other kids in the "chances" posts, I wonder whether a "real" kid - especially one whose parents cannot pay his way - has any chance against others who are not only as bright as he is, but who have had more advantages and used them to the fullest, and who have also, at the age of 13, already learned how to package and market themselves in a way that I, in my 50s, still haven't mastered and that truth be told, I don't necessarily want my children to master. I would always rather they presented their authentic selves than a glossy marketing package. I know I'm hopelessly naive, but am I crazy? (Wait, don't answer that.) :-)</p>

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<p>There are schools that realize high school can be a time of discovery and unfolding for young teens. Find the schools that aren’t expecting a finished product to arrive on campus at age fourteen. Seek out schools that understand child development. Search for these schools. Try to see through the gloss and mute the hype.</p>

<p>Read mission statements very carefully. Dig deep into the websites. You’ll begin to sense differences in school philosophies. Look at the board of trustee listings. Read musings from heads of school. Differences will emerge.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Don’t worry, Twinsmom, you’re not alone! First of all, don’t forget that a lot of the kids describing their accomplishments on here are in high school already (applying for 10th or 11th grade, or even as a repeat 9th grader). It’s a lot easier to sound like you have a bunch of accomplishments if you’re already in high school where there are more opportunities. My son sounds a lot like yours – bright kid, but not a genius, decent athlete and likes sports but not going to be recruited for a varsity sport at age 13, not much in the way of impressive sounding extracurriculars. We didn’t try to “pad” his resume by having him join extra activities that he wasn’t already doing or suddenly start doing community service projects. He just presented himself as what he is - a nice, smart, reasonably well-rounded kid who was interested in expanding his horizons and being more challenged academically. It worked - he’s now happily ensconced as a 9th grader at one of his top choices for boarding school.</p>

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<p>Thank you both for the advice and support. It always helps to hear from others who have been through the same situation. I confess that I tend to discount my own accomplishments and feel a little intimidated by those who know how to present themselves better (even if they are children!). I also haven’t yet shaken a bit of intimidation/uneasiness about boarding schools in general, although talking to a few admissions directors at the TSAO meeting this past week did help a lot in that regard.</p>

<p>But Pops2017, I can’t believe any school is expecting a finished product; after all, what is less finished than a 13-year-old? :-)</p>

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<p>twinsmama, I’ve PM’d you.</p>

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<p>I’m so glad to read this thread! My daughter is the same. Smart, identified as gifted but certainly not a genius. She is interested in bettering herself by attending a wonderful high school. I’m glad we are not alone
</p>

<p>Cameo, how is your daughter loving her school?</p>

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<p>Twins - my kid was exactly the same. Smart, but not off the charts, unable to play the oboe underwater while solving physics problems
but, well rounded, hard working, a happy B student at Thacher. </p>

<p>We never looked at CC in our boarding school search, and for that I’m glad. It can be distracting in a pernicious sort of way. I subscribe to assembling a realistic target list (safeties, 50/50, reaches), but I also think it improves your chances on all counts if you and your child are not worried about that which you cannot change, or nervous about all the Einstein chatter on CC. There are always slots for a kid who can do the work and make the school community a happier place.</p>

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<p>2 schools where I (the parent) had my interview portion and I talked about this directly with the AOs in very positive ways were NMH & Loomis. DC ended up choosing between them.</p>

<p>Obviously, a sample of one, but just FYI.</p>

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<p>My son, currently a lower at Exeter, was not one of the wonder kids. He is one of the may kids here with straight A’s, 99% ssat and some reasonable ECs but nothing like the list to 27 real, deep, meaningful things some seem to post. No Awards, no curing underwater tuba cancer while playing lacrosse for the state championship, etc.</p>

<p>He is a smart, engaging kid with a couple true and deep interests, which are all aligned around love of the out of doors. Lots of 'em like him around, no doubt.</p>

<p>He was rejected at first but wrote an additional essay on his interests. He then emphasized a long standing interest in a pastime (which shall remain nameless) he shared with his father, which he had held off on initially for fear of having it misconstrued as not necessarily socially acceptable. He/ we figured he had nothing to lose. He was accepted. </p>

<p>In our view this showed he was (is) his own person, chosing to do what he is interested in, not what is common, typical or currently fashionable. </p>

<p>Let your kid be, and write about, who he or she is. Don’t worry if they don;t have eleventy seven fabulous ECs and awards etc. I think the AO’s can see that for what it is in most 13/14 y/o kids. </p>

<p>Another sample of one. Pretty soon you may have enough to actually be real data</p>

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<p>@kidsparent: Was your child rejected, then accepted in the same application cycle or two different app cycles? Or was he wait listed and then accepted?</p>

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<p>Sorry, WL then accepted</p>

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<p>Thanks, all! So helpful to hear about your experiences. And kidsparent: Thanks for the chuckle (underwater tuba cancer!). :-)</p>

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<p>Thanks for clarification
I don’t want folks who are new to process this app cycle to think that it’s likely (or even possible) to turn an Exeter rejection into an admit through quality follow-up. I would hazard that it is even difficult to turn a WL into an admit at most of the super-selectives — congrats to your son, btw
hope he is enjoying and thriving at Exeter.</p>

<p>Regarding Real kids vs Super kids:
In addition to the “packaged ‘superkids’”, I do think there is a contingent of non-packaged, truly exceptional kids in every year’s applicant pool. Again, I think most prospective applicants grossly overestimate their attractiveness to any given school when it comes time to select and apply.</p>

<p>More thought on this when I have time.</p>

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<p>Like @ThacherParent, we are thankful we didn’t find CC until after M10 and ChoatieKid had choices in hand. My [post=13296473]very first post[/post] on this board addressed our naivet</p>

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<p>With kid#1, we had back-up day schools, but child had been exposed to boarding campuses for visits since spring break of seventh grade, and as he went through the process in the fall of eighth grade, the differences between the particular day/boarding institutions we had in mind became clear to him and the decision to board, if possible, was solidified. (Don’t underestimate how genuine interest in boarding needs to shine through.) He had >90 on lower (for practice at end of 7th) and upper SSATs, the requisite As, some achievement in sports at school (but no great shakes as “club” player, etc.), and musical instrument. So, a solid, well-rounded kid whose wide reading and deeper interests did effectively come out in the interviews, given feedback form AOs. Not a genius, no packaging. </p>

<p>The trick was to match all this up with the stats published by the three BS we took an interest in, and to take into account how much GEOGRAPHICAL DIVERSITY matters when looking at the highly selective schools that get over 1000 apps from everywhere. Speaking to the student, I framed his chances at the gladchems school as 3-5 out of ten, the hidden gem as 6-8 out of ten, and the “legacy”, or hooked, school as 8-10, selective as it is. When you really know the schools in question, this doesn’t become too hard to “quantify”, or to categorize as safety, reach, 50-50. Everybody seems to understand that FP over FA gives you a lift (not a lock); but geographical considerations are sometimes under-appreciated. If you’re “local” or “regional”, especially in New England, and applying to the highly or most selective, consider whether your day or boarding pool improves the chances. Overall, consider how much going out-of-region appeals if you’re a qualified boarding applicant. Since we got a WL and two acceptances, happily, the thought put into school selection by careful matching of applicant to institution and breadth of reach based on those match-ups was validated for us. </p>

<p>While we have seen the CC posters who report going 4/5 or 5/5 at all hades schools, most “real” kids will need to apply the “process” so well outlined in this thread. The results will be fine, especially for grade 9 apps. For 10 and 11, factor in a further degree of difficulty, I think. The repeat 9s seem to be doing well. +1 for stay off Chances.</p>

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<p>@Louisiana: She’s very happy there, although being the first to come down with the dorm cold/flu bug made this past week a bit rocky. She spent some time sleeping in the infirmary and is now in catch-up mode for the work she missed. The school’s support system has been really impressive. Thanks for asking!</p>

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<p>Cameo, great to hear! Hope she has a fantastic year!!!</p>

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<p>Can all of you come talk to my husband? :slight_smile: (ChoatieMom, I may have to print out your posts and tape them to his coffee cup.)</p>

<p>I’m actually very relaxed about this whole process. I’m pretty sure that if money weren’t an issue, our son would be very likely to get into one or more of the schools he’s interested in. Because money is an issue, it’s a crap shoot. We are asking for a school to make a huge financial investment in our son, and there are plenty of other great kids out there who would benefit from the same investment. However, I think our son will do fine whatever high school he goes to, and that statement very much includes our local public school.</p>

<p>My husband, on the other hand, is much more intense by nature than I am, and now that he has realized - and this was a 180-degree switch for both of us - that a top boarding school would probably be the best thing for our son, he has been encouraging/pressuring him to do some kind of extra project to impress AOs and to prep a lot for the SSAT. The former has been rejected outright and the latter has been half-hearted, at best. :-)</p>

<p>I have to admit that I’m with my son on this one. He says that if a school doesn’t like him as he is, then he doesn’t belong there. However, sometimes he can be a little too adamant about being himself; for instance, he interviewed at both Exeter and Andover wearing shorts! (In his defense, it was August, and I did check with the admissions offices beforehand as to whether it was OK.)</p>

<p>So I’m wondering: were all of you in complete accord with your spouses about whether your child should apply to boarding school, where to apply, how to apply, etc., etc.? Did either spouse disagree with your child about any of the above?</p>

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<p>Doing anything last minute like a project is pointless for admissions. AOs want to see passion and long term commitment.</p>

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<p>pwalsh - I completely agree. (You don’t hear that too often on this board, do you? :slight_smile: )</p>