<p>So my son joined his team during winter break and spent a week playing hockey games before school restarted. We had almost daily, brief text message contact during that time but didn't talk until he got back to school. That's when he mentioned that he had been very sick; high fever, cold symptoms etc. His coaches took care of him and gave him soup and advil. No one contacted us though! He is 16 and a junior. Shouldn't someone have let us know? What do you think?</p>
<p>It sounds like it was a virus and not serious, and the coaches thought it was up to him to tell you. Glad he’s feeling better now.</p>
<p>My take is that unless his fever was dangerously high, it was your son that should have communicated his illness to you since you were in contact every day. Of course I know how that goes with a teenage boy. I would work on him, telling him you want him to tell you anytime he’s really sick. I don’t think the school was out of line unless his symptoms were beyond typical mild fever, runny nose, etc.</p>
<p>My D is in BS and I don’t expect to hear about standard illnesses such as a cold. In fact I think she told me after the fact that she had been “really sick” and I didn’t think twice about it. We do not usually communicate every day. </p>
<p>That’s what works for us, but I think your main concern was whether the school or coach acted inappropriately. I don’t think it would be out of line if you want to talk to the coach and get more details, possibly suggest they do it differently in the future.</p>
<p>I’d have expected my kid to tell me and, if school was in session, I’d also have expected to be in communication with the faculty dorm head.</p>
<p>I think that this was an unusual situation since it occurred during winter break, so there was probably less communication than there otherwise would have been. Coaches aren’t usually the ones that deal with student illnesses.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. After reading your feedback I agree it was really up to my son to let me know…guess I have to get used to this next phase of life where I don’t know everything going on with him. I’m not a helicopter parent but it takes some getting used to.</p>
<p>Right before spring break last year, our son spent five days in the infirmary with strep missing all classes and a final exam. He texted us the first night he slept there, but we didn’t hear from the school physician until the third day when they were concerned he might have mono (he didn’t) and needed some further tests. In any case, because there was nothing we could do from afar, we relied on the school to care for him as we continue to do. It’s difficult not to be able to care for a sick child, but, really, all our son was missing was those special Dr. Mom hugs. (Still waiting for the technology that enables you to hug your kid across the miles.)</p>
<p>The BS are equipped to handle all routine medical care, and colds are just too common to cause any blip on their radar screens. If your child experiences anything out of the ordinary, you’ll be notified.</p>
<p>Some schools are very good with communicartions. Some schools are too good. They could be even annoying with so many detailed emails to parents. But I think it is great. Some schools with so many students do not work as closely with parents. If your child is ill with cold, he or she should tell the school first. Then some schools would let you know immediately, some schools don’t. More serious illness will be immdiately notified to parent in most of the schools.</p>
<p>Well it was beyond a cold in that he had a fever and said he was hallucinating from it…he probably didn’t tell them that though. Anyway he could have told us himself but the truth is there was nothing we could do so maybe ignorance was bliss.</p>
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<p>Ha! That’s my general MO for this entire BS journey!</p>