<p>“I love the CIA thing” He is 24 years old. Sounds like first thing’s first-dealing with what may or may not have traumatized him at Pomona. </p>
<p>SMAmom–this is tough stuff. It’s clear you want what’s best for your son. Do you know if you’re son’s therapist/counselor has any opinion on how your son should proceed? Has he ever discussed going forward with the counselor? It sounds like he’s not currently in counseling–if not, maybe a few sessions would be helpful so that he could talk about his plans and discuss options and how to handle various scenarios like going back to Pomona or another plan.</p>
<p>I don’t know anything about the CIA scholarship, but I have a son-in-law who was very interested in working the CIA after he graduated from college–the psychological testing and the interview process is very intense. There are lots of psychological tests that applicants have to take. Would you son be up for that? Good luck to you and to him.</p>
<p>Yes, I agree, sevmom. He might decide to be a sports psychologist or grow weed hydroponically. Not ruling anything in or out. Not my life. I do understand that. I’m beginning to suspect the trauma isn’t something hidden and that I’m projecting that because my own traumas were. It may be as simple as what he’s saying. Who’s to say what traumatizes me will traumatize someone else equally. Education, school, etc. was always something that was a safe space for him. It may be that when he fell behind and disappointed his professors, his fellow students (group projects), himself, the school, QB, his parents etc., nothing worse had ever gone wrong for him up to that point and he’s terrified at returning and letting everyone down again. </p>
<p>Correct, he’s not currently in counseling. He is going to meet with someone this weekend and get something started. He expressed that he finally has his neurosis narrowed down to a tumor and that it’s time for the tumor to be excised. The woman he’s meeting with couldn’t be a better choice. I’m incredibly grateful she’ll see him professionally. </p>
<p>And, I think it was somewhat unnerving for him that everyone was disappointed in him in the nicest possible way. And, continue to be nice and supportive. He needs to realize he’s sincerely valued because of who he is and not some accident of birth or mistaken identity. </p>
<p>I wish we could “fast-forward” into the future, and see him in a much better place. It sounds like you are doing a great job to get him on his new track. SMA mom, your son sounds like he has a lot to offer the world. Good luck to you both!</p>
<p>This is an interesting thread, references to everything from growing weed hydroponically, to tumors, and the CIA. Good luck to you and your son.</p>
<p>You mentioned a few pages back having him take a few CC classes before “easing back” into Pomona. You must check with them before deciding on that, they may not allow it.</p>
<p>Also, the foreign service interview process is very rigorous and LOTS of people who want that job don’t get it. You can’t count on it, that is for sure, he needs a backup plan. Also, if he has lived abroad for a while, that can complicate the process of getting security clearance. Not impossible, but he will be carefully scrutinized. And he better give up smoking weed. </p>
<p>Ok. First, you have my sympathy for this situation. I just want to throw something out there - and I hope you know it’s just because I know someone else who was in this situation.</p>
<p>Are you sure your son wasn’t expelled from Pomona? What I mean is, he may be breaking down about going back because he is too upset to tell you he has been expelled and CAN’T go back. He might be genuinely panicked about the idea – because there is no way to cover it up when he can’t actually go back.</p>
<p>He sounds like he was a super star in Hs. He may have a lot internalized perfectionism or is afraid of letting you down. </p>
<p>I know a friend whose son was expelled from a “top” fancy school. The kid told his parents he just didn’t want to go back. They didn’t find out until some time later that he was actually expelled (long story). I know you probably think “what? We would know” but smart kids can be good about hiding their problems.</p>
<p>Has your son received any communication from Pomona since he left?</p>
<p>A grad school buddy of mine works at a “top” LAC. They care very deeply about their graduation rates. Even with kids who have been suspended for grades, plagiarism, whatever, and didn’t come back – they go back to them ultimately and try to work it out so they can graduate (even if that means waiving a residency requirement, accepting credits done elsewhere, whatever).</p>
<p>Quest bridge also I am sure cares very much about their awardees’ graduation rates. That’s their mission! </p>
<p>I just can’t understand how between Pomona and Questbridge your son isn’t being contacted.</p>
<p>So what do you do? I doubt either org will talk to you about your son’s record. Perhaps you can ask your son to get something in writing about his eligibility to return and the financial aid he’s still eligible for/awarded? Regardless of the reason for the situation or what you do, that’s probably a document he should possess.</p>
<p>P.s. There are very little structure and lots of unpredictable things about working in the CIA. That’s an aside.</p>
<p>3kids, if he were expelled, I believe he wouldn’t have outright lied today that his status is currently listed as a leave of absence. He also told us today that he has gone nowhere near his Pomona email account - as in not checking it for YEARS. I am sure in retrospect you’re right, and they all have been trying to get in touch. </p>
<p>He really doesnt smoke much weed, if at all anymore. The hydroponic major was a joke becoz it was as far from compatible with a CIA gig as I could think of in the moment. </p>
<p>Also, he mentioned that at his exit interview there was a suggestion that he take some classes at a local CC (as well as counseling), so I can’t imagine they’d be against it now. I think his getting in touch with Questbridge to see if they’d want to liaison for him might be the best next step.</p>
<p>I’m not sure he’s capable of making any plan, much less a backup plan without professional help - to be addressed shortly. The CIA idea is really something I’m excited about as a mom, like I would be excited if he were considering a track for medical school. I just want to believe there’s a plan and a goal, so I admit I’m dreaming here. The end point, whatever it is, I’m not invested in. I just want him to have something he cares enough about that he’ll work toward it. </p>
<p>I would still ask about the CC before making the assumption. You would hate to jeopardize his ability to return if he thinks he wants to, and schools can be very finicky about this. And they could even change their rules…</p>
<p>Absolutely and that’s why I mentioned someone at QB might make a good intermediary. </p>
<p>I am confused. It doesn’t seem like it would be hard to just both get together on the computer and look at his portals. This shouldn’t be mysterious or just hanging open. I am not understanding why his official status would be difficult to know. You could have him call on speaker phone as another option. I see no point in considering any options without knowing exactly what’s still on the table and what isn’t.</p>
<p>I am pretty sure my kid couldn’t get into her portals after a couple of years (wouldn’t even know her passwords). Plus, I think the Claremont colleges have changed platforms, my kid had to reset her password this summer, OPs kid probably did too. If your kid is telling you he can log on and see his standing and grades, I would ask you to do it with you there and print out what you see. Could be useful in discussions later, and it tells you EXACTLY what it says.</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but the more this story unfolds, the more confused I am. </p>
<p>Parents own a house in Florida…but they don’t live in the house. They rent it.BUT they file taxes as though they live in that house. Do I have that correct?</p>
<p>The student was doing OK at Pomona for three semesters but then stopped going to classes and flunked all of his last term courses. He is either on academic suspension or leave of absence…which one. Has anyone called the college to,find out for sure? </p>
<p>Parents can’t afford to live in Florida, but they can afford to live in California…really?</p>
<p>Student has unresolved anxiety issues, and the parent is excited about a career in the CIA.</p>
<p>Student hasn’t been at Pomona for five years, but still has a Pomona email account? Really?</p>
<p>This thread has taken so many twists and turns that it is hard to believe.</p>
<p>Saint fan, official status is leave of absence, QB according to someone on this thread is done by semester and those semesters don’t have to be completed concurrently. I know his leave of absence can go as long as 5 years from what he and I remember from his exit interview. I’m learning as we go along here too. </p>
<p>Intparent, we don’t have a printer, but can certainly go to local Internet cafe and do this. Sounds great. Yes, he said he even looked at classes available while logged on. </p>
<p>Thumper1, I’m an accountant. I file the income received on the house and use my Texas mailing address to file. According to what he learned online last night his status is leave of absence. Certainly this will be confirmed. </p>
<p>I can’t afford to live at our house in Florida because the house gives us our income. Could we afford to live somewhere else in Florida for $3500 per month? Of course. We just can’t live in that house with some kind of income in addition. The house is also rented as far forward as Feb and March 2016. </p>
<p>Before this thread, I thought his best option was a filing job in Nashville, or continuing to live with us and teach at the local college (they pay him $7.50 an hour - acceptable wages for Mexico, but would not put him in a safe neighborhood were he to live alone. The thought that he might have a solid career someday is a godsend to my psyche. Yes, I’m excited. To me it’s about as likely as someone telling me he might have a realistic chance of a movie career ahead of him. If the CIA is actually a realistic thing to lok at and it gels with what he wants, I’m no going to ignore that. </p>
<p>I doubt he has a Pomina email account anymore. He certainly hasn’t checked it or his gmail account for that matter in years. </p>
<p>Sorry, you’re having a hard time believing. I’m trying to communicate here as best as I can. </p>
<p>Where did your son learn his status at Pomona online last night?</p>
<p>And, if you want my FB account that will verify some of what I have said, I’ll PM you a link. Its a public account. You can check my son out too. I can give you the VRBO link to the rental house in Florida too.</p>
<p>On his Pomona log in. </p>