<p>^If one were trying to figure out, there aren’t many schools that go on a quarter system. Of “selective” public schools, one would probably come up with 3. Of 'course, you could have said that in an effort to mislead someone into thinking it was one of those schools when it is actually on a semester system. But if you really do want to conceal it (and I’d assume you do if you made a 2nd account to conceal it), and aren’t trying to drop false hints, beware of crazy people like me with too much time on their hands.</p>
<p>“…we would really want him to attend this, his first choice school, for at least two quarters before he makes any major decisions.”</p>
<p>Ok, but what does he want to do?</p>
<p>All schools, even top schools, will have issues with drugs and alchohol. All schools will also have serious students who like to study and party just a little or not at all. The trick will be for your son to find friends like him… and to hope that he has a mellow dorm. Send earplugs.</p>
<p>Bonniemom: If you reread my post(s) (I think I mentioned it twice), son does not want to switch schools at this point, which is good, because this is an issue that he is going to face anywhere. So jumping ship at the last minute is not going to solve any problem.</p>
<p>I mostly agree with monydad and Hunt, but the porn thing is one of the most reprehensible things I’ve ever heard.</p>
<p>Oh sorry…missed that. Well, hope everything works out for him! He sounds a little like one of my sons…it takes time for some of these guys.</p>
<p>“We’ve told him all along that we would be fine with him changing schools and/or majors, but that we would really want him to attend this, his first choice school, for at least two quarters before he makes any major decisions.”</p>
<p>Gracemore, good idea. However, if what you heard at the alumni gathering turns out to be an accurate picture of the culture on this campus and your son begins hinting that he’s not happy, please consider advising your son to send out the transfer application in the fall of his freshman year for the Fall of 2011. If he ends up wanting to transfer for his sophomore year, he needs to get those transfer applications out early (housing and limited spaces in particular majors). Having solid options available and in hand by the Spring can make the Spring semester at a bad fit school bearable. </p>
<p>I’m not saying that he should go into this year with the mind set that it’s not going to work out. I’m just trying to say that if it appears to not be working out, don’t wait until Spring semester to send out transfer applications for the following academic year.</p>
<p>
At a high school meeting for parents regarding these topics, we were advised not to share our war stories with the kids. Apparently it sends the wrong message. Not sure how much I agree, but it’s something to ponder.</p>
<p>So, I called the director of the alumni association today and she was appropriately upset and genuinely thankful to have received the information, so that was good. There is also now a specific plan of action in place involving both the parents and the kids who were there. Thank you all for the feedback and advice. It sometimes is hard to know where to draw the line with getting involved vs. letting our son manage his own life. He and I had another short conversation last night and I think he is remembering that there are going to be a lot of people he can hang out with that have pasttimes other than drinking. </p>
<p>“At a high school meeting for parents regarding these topics, we were advised not to share our war stories with the kids. Apparently it sends the wrong message. Not sure how much I agree, but it’s something to ponder.”</p>
<p>Well, really I do agree that it sends the wrong message, which is why I haven’t been open with my own experiences. But, everything is so black and white with him, sometimes I think that he might be a little more tolerant if he realized that that I am one example that it is possible to go overboard with the drinking sometimes and still have a successful life.</p>