Reflecting on the process one year later, and some encouragement

Now that we are in early December, I am watching students and families I know personally, as well as students and families here on college confidential, go through many of the same emotions that I remember from a year ago when my daughter was a senior and beginning to receive her responses from schools. I feel for everybody, because I remember how nerve-wracking it could be. In retrospect, I can see how so many of us easily fall into the trap of seeing college acceptance as the goal in itself, rather than as a means to achieving goals. I mean, I get it. Kids want to get into college. Parents want their kids to get into college. And some of us, or many of us, have ideas about what makes a college good. Sometimes these ideas are not terribly accurate.

My daughter is a super-happy first-year student at a wonderful college after having been rejected by her ED1 school. She was devastated at the time, but it wound up being a blessing in disguise. She wouldn’t have been nearly as happy at that school, I’m pretty sure if it, even though it was more prestigious and more selective than the one she attends now. All of her closest friends are at schools that nobody would consider elite or super selective, and they are all thriving both academically and socially. And most of them were stellar students who probably had good shots at elite, super selective schools.

So what’s my point? I guess to remind people that while this seems like a make-or-break time to so many people, it really is not. All your child needs is to get into a college where they can get the kind of education they want, at a school you can afford, and at a place where they can feel comfortable and confident both socially and academically. Good luck to everyone! I promise it will all be OK!

Amen! Very similar experience for my son. He couldn’t be happier, yet he was really bummed out after his “dream school” said “no”. It will all work out.