<p>December 1, 2005</p>
<p>Dear Rejectee,</p>
<p>We have considered your application for admission to the most prestigious school in America. After a happy yet light review, we are glad that we are shredding your application and deny your entry for the fall semester 2006.</p>
<p>Our decisions were unbelievably easy this year, as competition for fall admission was exceptionally light and of course, fun. We received more than 1,000,000,000 applications for only 999,999,999 admission spaces, and most of these candidates were extremely suck and stupid. We are happy that many very retarded seniors will not be included in our freshman class as a result of this ridiculous level of selectivity. We have prepared the answers to some frequently asked questions which provide additional information about our shredding process and how much fun we had with burning each application. We hope these may also address many of your intellectual weaknesses or your low IQs.</p>
<p>Given your academic chaos and suicidal mind, we know that you will receive other attractive community college, McDonald offer, or a military draft to the North Pole. If you took advantage of the University's multiple application filing policy, you may well not have opportunities to study at other campuses since we all know you are nothing more than a ***** and your application made our today. I mean it.</p>
<p>We would like to laugh at you for your interest in our school and wish you every failures in achieving your educational goals.</p>
<p>Farewell Retards,</p>
<p>XXX
Director
Hahaha, at least you made me laugh.</p>