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<p>Other people are just a bit more reserved about these things - they prefer not to drink from the same drink, or they’d prefer to break off the dessert with their own fork and put it on their own plate and not have germs commingle.</p>
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<p>And it’s funny when people from the same family can be different.</p>
<p>I’m in the first group, but one of my sisters is definitely in the second. She won’t even let her H or her kids sip out of her drink. </p>
<p>Butt prints, not necessarily germs.</p>
<p>On the familiarity issue: I had some roommates I had no problem sharing relatively intimate items with, and some I did. Sharing a toothbrush with my brothers while growing up would have been abhorrent but a same sex roommate the second year in? Didn’t faze me. </p>
<p>OP is likely long gone, but it sounds more like a personality clash than a crisis. Maybe they can work it out, maybe not. OP’s D didn’t get upset about all this until now?</p>
<p>Looks like OP hopped on that plane to go solve the issue…however, I am hoping this is not the case! </p>
<p>OP did check into CC as recently as yesterday, and since this was only her second thread on CC (the first being two years ago), she probably has been reading this thread’s replies. Hope she updates us!</p>
<p>Bad roommate? Maybe it is time to call to mind the box toileter thread (Phobias and dorm life).</p>
<p>The box toileter! Who could ever forget that?!</p>
<p>I feel like there is a dichotomy between those who grew up used to sharing stuff with strangers, like at sleepaway camps and so on, and those who grew up trying to protect their stuff from their annoying siblings or were used to having their own things as they had no siblings.</p>
<p>Yes, your roommate is a stranger, at least unless you both work on it, and it does not sound like the two roommates who are the subject of this thread worked on it at all.</p>
<p>I suppose, if I was the OP, I would ask my daughter if she’s had a chance to have lunch with her roommate, to talk to her and get to know her. If the roommate was not even trying to develop a relationship, yeah, she is a stranger to the OP’s daughter.</p>
<p>This is why kids end up with alcohol poisoning, they go into college and think every single student is their friend and has their best interests (like, I don’t know, LIVING?) at heart.</p>
<p>I have read through this thread and the one thing that amuses me is the sexiling. Really, It’s college kids. 5 minutes, sure. All night, no.</p>
<p>Of course they are strangers at first. Although it seems that there is quite often some communication beforehand these days. My point is that even thought they do not know each other at first, both students need to work on developing some sort of relationship. They obviously are not going to stay strangers. So saying things to the effect of “strangers should not…” as a way of criticizing a roommate’s behavior is not conducive to developing that relationship. Strangers don’t normally sleep across the room from each other either. Obviously what a “stranger” would do is not relevant. </p>
<p>And these particular people have been living in the same room for several weeks now. So even if they barely speak to each other (which sounds possible if not likely) they are not strangers by any definition. </p>
<p>While I think that most roommates can be worked with and there are always going to have to be compromises, when it gets to the point that you don’t feel safe in your room and have to sleep in a common area, I think that it’s gotten beyond a situation that will be improved by talking to the RA. In my sister’s situation the roommate used intimidation to get what she wanted. Despite being in an honors dorm at a state flagship, told my sister that she was a member of a gang and would do what she wanted. Roommate had sex in the room with whomever she wanted whenever she wanted without any agreement, used drugs in the room and woke her up at all hours of the night, seemingly purposefully and ended up threatening to hurt her. While this may not be the OP’s daughter’s situation, I think it’s important to recognize that this does happen and a parent very well need to get involved to make a change. It left my sister with such a bad feeling that she ended up changing colleges at the end of the year.</p>
<p>When my siblings and I were growing up my father used to quip that he thought mandatory armed forces services should be required of all males and females so we didn’t grow up spoiled and coddled and selfish and learned out to live, work and support others. He would turn over in his grave if he read any of the threads through the years about what kids will and won’t put up with. </p>