<p>hi, can someone please revise the wait list essay (UC Davis). thanks!!</p>
<p>""Thank you so much for giving me opportunities to reconsidered my application. I would like to genuinely inform and assure you that UC Davis still remains not only my top priority school, but also my dream school. Having to visit Davis several times, I know UCD is the right place for me: placid environment, congenial people and vital campus life.</p>
<p>I am determined to attend UC Davis because of Landscape Architecture Department's inspirational events such as the NYC Sidewalk competition and Parking Day project in both Davis and San Francisco. The creative innovation and dedication to improve the environment truly inspired me to strive further in my chosen major. As I intend to study abroad, I believe the education that UC Davis has to offer will instill a well-round and profound skill to prepare a professional career of landscape architecture. </p>
<p>I acknowledge that my application may not seem competitive; however my absolute commitment, passion and desire to attend UC Davis may far exceed all of other's. ""</p>
<p>I feel like im missing something in here....</p>
<p>What your missing is that you didn’t tell them what you could to bring to the school. As JFK once said, “Ask not of what your country can do for you, but of what you can do for your country.” Hope this helps and best of luck!</p>
<p>“giving me the opportunity to have my application reconsidered”
“Having visited Davis several times”<br>
“to improve the environment has truly inspired me to strive further in my chosen major.”
“will instill a well-rounded environment”
“to prepare for a professional career in landscape architecture”
"may far exceed all others’ "</p>
<p>revised:
Thank you for offering the opportunity to reconsidered my application. I would like to genuinely inform and assure you that UC Davis still remains not only my priority school, but also my dream school. After visiting Davis several times, I know UCD is the suitable place for me. After all, UCD was the first college I visited in 2005 and have wanting to attend there ever since. </p>
<p>I’m determined to attend UC Davis because of Landscape Architecture Department’s NYC Sidewalk competition and Parking Day project. The creative innovation and dedication to improve the environment truly inspires me to strive further in my chosen major. As I intend to study abroad, I believe the education and guidance that UCD has to offer will instill a well-round and necessary skill to prepare a professional career in landscape architecture. </p>
<p>Through perseverance, I believe I will contribute a hunger for knowledge, passion for learning and determination to make the school proud. As an active Christian believer, I will also enrich the community by vigorously participate student’s Christian organizations.</p>
<p>I acknowledge that my application may not seem competitive; however my absolute commitment, passion and desire to attend UC Davis may far exceed all of other’s.</p>