Rising College Junior, still no friends

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Honestly, I didn't come here to complain about life. Just for some advice. So, I'm 3 weeks away from finishing up my sophomore year in school. I have lots of acquaintances and I'm social in the classroom, but I have no real friends, aside from my roommate and a (strong) acquaintance whose moving away next year. </p>

<p>My issue is, I opted to go to a school a little over an hour away from home where all my friends are. Most of the people I meet at my current university are either from here and already have friends or came here with friends for high school. I came here pretty much by myself. I hung out with other people's groups of friends but we never seem to click. </p>

<p>I'd love to be in a club or sorority/women's frat but any club I like is inactive and any sorority on campus basically has the same preppy females in it or is divided into a religious group or racial group. There rarely seems to be much around here for normal folks. I'm kinda dorky, I love the arts, I'm really into music and I'm not a party girl. If I joined anything, it'd be great if they were inclusive and had a variety or different types of people. Not just one.</p>

<p>During my sophomore year I felt more isolated because to my race and sexuality, due to the fact that go to a southern predominantly white school (no I don't need to see a counselor about my perceived struggles about being black and gay haha). I've literally had people not want to come near me unless they absolutely had to. Funny thing is that once they actually talked to me they ended up liking me. Its crazy. Which is the polar opposite of my friends back home who are all pretty much lgbt.</p>

<p>I've had a job and I also do volunteer work. With the job that I had, I met some fun people however, most of them quit with the first couple weeks (If you've worked for Vector you know why). With my volunteering, my work is with young kids, their teachers and the coordinator, so their arent people my age hanging around too often.</p>

<p>I guess what I'm saying is, this school is nice. The education is worth the tuition money haha. People in my major are pretty nice. However, I have not found a single person here that I click with and can text randomly "hey want to grab lunch?" or "want to meet me downtown and check out some art galleries or thrift stores?". I'm not particularly shy, I'm sociable. I'm super open minded and chill. I'm just looking for the same in other people here. My classmates assume I have a decent amount friends, but I really don't lol. I have like 1 1/2. Any advice on how to do this? Because I don't think being social and nice to people is cuttioften like it used to.</p>

<p>I swear, making friends at 15 is a thousand times easier than making them at 20 lol</p>

2

<p>****cutting it like it used to</p>

3

<p>College has proven similar to high-school for me in many respects. I’m sorry it seems like you have had the same experience. I try to busy myself with other activities and do things on my own. It’s actually pretty cathartic.</p>

4

<p>Is the college in a city where you could get involved - perhaps through an open-minded church and its young adult/college group?
Would you consider transferring, I know it happens for social reasons - for instance, to a women’s college if you’re a woman? Or a more diverse/inclusive college? Or a college where the “vibe” makes you feel “recognized”)? I’m asking because many schools still admit transfer students but the deadline tends to be April 15 so if you want to send a couple applications you need to hurry. In addition, there’s always the issue of cost. If you’re open to transferring, you could give us your major and GPA and we could try and suggest a few possibilities so that you have a choice between staying where you are and going elsewhere where you may “fit in” better.</p>

5

<p>@Wiscongene‌ That’s pretty much what I do. I guess there’s a limit to how alone I like to be lol.</p>

<p>@MYOS1634‌ I go to an art school and I’m an art education major. I do live in the city and yes, im definitely looking into findjng activities to do around town. I’m Buddhist and all the church groups around here are Christian lol.</p>

<p>About the transferring thing though, I go to one of the cheaper schools in Richmond. So transferring for social means eh idk. I almost considered it at one point but that was freshman year</p>

6

<p>I recommend lowering your standards and joining some things that you think you’ll have no interest in. You might discover a side of you that you didn’t know you had. How about something that’s physically active? A running, cycling, rowing, climbing, even card playing or gaming group…doing the activities will, after a few sessions, give you something in common with the other group members, something you can talk about and then go from there. You are so right - friends at age 15 is easier than later, because you’ve got school, developing bodies, new experiences in common. Welcome to the adult world, where it’s not so easy to make friends, but still necessary!</p>