<p>I've posted a couple other times last year about this subject but I feel the need to vent on here again. So I'm an out of state sophomore at a big school in the south and haven't really made any friends at college. Last year I was miserable and depressed, and I barely even had acquaintances but I'm doing a little better this year so far. I've made one "friend" by pure luck since we were supposed to room together but she got switched and we have remained in contact and hang out a couple times a week. It is nice to have her company, but I feel like we don't have a lot in common and I'm not sure how long our friendship will last. We quickly run out of things to talk about when we hang out and I think she talks about her boyfriend too much which is annoying but I figure that being with her is better than being alone since that's all I did last year and don't want to go through that hell again. I'm part of tennis club and have formed some connections but I don't hang out with anyone outside of tennis since we've only met a couple times this year. Most people I talk to at tennis are guys but I feel like I need female friends too, not that there's anything wrong with having guy friends. I'm painfully shy which is a huge part of why I didn't make any friends last year and why I can't make any this year so far. I'm trying to work on overcoming my shyness but it is easier said than done. Also, I feel like most people already have formed their friend groups and aren't really looking for new friends, and this is another reason I'm struggling to make connections. I feel so awkward being a sophomore with no friends and I would be embarrassed if people knew about my situation. Sorry this was so long but any advice would be appreciated! I know people suggest joining clubs, but none of the clubs spark my interest except for tennis club since that is the only activity I truly enjoy, so I would appreciate advice besides that.</p>
<p>You’re in the same situation as me. This is my 2nd yr at my uni. I’m shy. And I have one friend. lol.</p>
<p>Being a friendless 2nd yr makes me feel embarrassed too. It seems like all the people in my hall are friends with each other except for me. People here are always nice to me. And most of the people who seem like they want to hangout are guys and I don’t really want guy friends. I wouldn’t mind having male friends. But I feel like I should have more female friends since I obviously can relate to them more. Plus, I always feel like guys who talk to me want to ask me out and I don’t want any dates! I want friends lol. And I also feel like I don’t have too much in common with my friend. We eat meals together during the week but I do feel like sometimes we run out of things to talk about. </p>
<p>Glad to hear i’m not the only one haha. It’s just really frustrating and embarrassing since all my good friends from back home are having a blast at college and have made great friends. I also feel like I’m letting my parents down since they pay a lot of money for me to come to college and I’m not even enjoying it much. They are always asking me if I’ve made friends and when they ask I just become more depressed because I know they want me to have the best experience possible and I’m letting them down, and it just reminds me of how lonely I am here.</p>
<p>Yeah most people are having a blast too. I’m not completely miserable lol. I love my school and I’m glad I moved away from home. But I just wish things were better. I always prefer weekdays over weekends. Weekends kinda suck because I’m always alone. At least during the week I can keep busy with classes. What have you done to improve your situation so far?</p>
<p>wow we sound identical haha. I’m glad I moved away too and yeah classes keep me occupied on weekdays and all I do on weekends is study. I haven’t really done anything yet since it’s only been a few days since I posted but I’ve made one connection with a guy from tennis and we’re going to hit outside of the normal club hours…this isn’t much but it’s some progress lol. I’m also thinking of trying out to be a counselor for transfer students during their one day orientations, but I am really nervous and not sure if I will even go through with the tryout. My school is huge and I know there will be lots of competition to be a counselor, and since I’m not the most outgoing person I feel like I would just cause embarrassment if I showed up to tryout since it is a group interview first. I have time to think about it but I have not found any other organization/activity that I’m interested in.</p>
<p>If your college campus is in a city or town, there are likely groups and other opportunities to connect to people off campus who aren’t college students. Those folks might add just enough to your life that days feel less lonely. Hang in there. </p>
<p>Well it’s in a fairly small town so I don’t think there are many off campus opportunities. I applied for a job in the game room in our student center so hopefully I’ll get the job so can at least interact with co-workers and make money at the same time. My life is just so depressing now and I don’t know how long I can take it anymore…I was fine the first month of school but now it has hit me that I’m just falling into the same lonely pattern as last year</p>
<p>It sounds pretty difficult now. I like your job idea. Can you also start meeting with your course instructors every other week or so? Builds connections/engagement. Maybe even help them with research, fact-checking, prepping for a conference? Can you find a job in the college’s career center (helps to focus on the future)? Introverts also do better in circumstances where they are repeatedly exposed to the same small group of people where there is “forced” interaction (committee work, group project, side-by-side job, etc.). It sounds like your college is very isolated. But, in small towns, the biggest organizations tend to be the public schools, the hospital, and the government. Any way you could volunteer, job shadow, or help those organizations? </p>
<p>Moonlightpath - I have 3 suite mates but I don’t exactly like them very much. Two of them are very messy and never help clean anything and that annoys me and they are loud at night when I try to sleep, but it is tolerable since it’s not all the time. And the other one goes home a lot and I barely even see her since she’s an engineering major so she’s really busy with schoolwork all the time and she’s just not interested in being friends I can tell.
Dyiu13 - Our career center isn’t currently hiring so that’s not an option at the moment, but I’ll keep checking. And I try to meet with my english TA before each paper but I don’t think she likes me very much…our english class is almost 100 percent discussion based and since I don’t like to participate much I don’t think she likes me. And I’m doing well in all my other classes so there isn’t really a need for me to meet with them, and they just have the TA’s do all the grading so I would feel awkward going to see them since I wouldn’t have much to say or ask. I’ve also signed up to volunteer with our school’s food drive, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m just trying to be as positive and proactive as possible about my situation but that’s not easy to do everyday. Thank you for suggestions/support!</p>
<p>My roommate is NEVER in the room. I don’t even know why she chose to live on campus since she has not spent a single night in our dorm. School started a month ago and she’s gone all the time lol. Do you normally sit next to the same people in class?</p>
<p>I really don’t want to transfer because I want to prove to myself that I can survive away from home, so I feel like transferring is giving up even though it’s really not. And I do usually sit next to the same people in class and we have brief conversations, but again I don’t think anyone is looking for friends since they all have them already.</p>