<p>My D will be attending a smaller private college (3500) and was accepted into the honors program (they only accept 30 honors students each freshman year so probably only 120 or so in the total honors program). Honors housing is available, but not required - but the honors housing is fairly nice.</p>
<p>A friend she attended school with through 8th grade has also been accepted into the same honors program (kind of weird...!) They have remained in contact through high school - not weekly or anything, but through church and a few school function (different high schools). The friend has mentioned rooming together - my D is quite uncertain about it.</p>
<p>I know all that is said about DON"T room with friends. The funny thing is that if my D lists her "requirements" for a roomate, this friend meets many of them - dedicated and organized study habits, likes to get to bed on the "early" side, no smoking/drinking, etc. So, D does wonder if she should "play it safe" with her friend or "take a risk" with a new person. She was actually kind of looking forward to the whole "new person roomate". </p>
<p>Also, the school uses a computer program to match up students for rooming - she said yesterday "Mom, if they put all the honors students in that program seperately, "friend" and I will probably end up matching up and they might place us together anyway!" (chuckle). </p>
<p>I told her she should feel no OBLIGATION to her friend - they will obviously live in the same dorm, same floor likely and see plenty of each other. On the other hand, they can look at it as a "one-year arrangement" and take it from there. </p>
<p>Please offer any thoughts/opinions you might have on her situation!</p>
<p>I think she should take her chances in the roommate lottery system. More than one youthful friendship has been ruined by two kids living together freshman year in the same dorm room!</p>
<p>I would tell her to go with the random roommate. I know several students who roomed with kids they knew and it seems to me that it ended up limiting them. Part of the freshman experience is everybody being new and getting to know everyone on your floor/ in your dorm. Even if your D is outgoing, others may see her as already having a friend and not make as much effort to get to know her.<br>
Particularly with what you are saying about your D's reluctance and the other girls enthusiasm for the idea...it sounds like the other girl is a little less sure of herself and your D would be taking that on.</p>
<p>My son had a similar situation last year. Accepted into an honors program at our flagship state U (only 300 per year start as freshman). His friend from pre-school was also accepted into the program (one of only a few at our HS). Once they both decided to accept, the arranged to room together. I was initially against it - I thought it might limit his growth. But this school has no roommate matching - and my son feared the risk of a poor roommate match. His impression (right or wrong) was that the honors college had a higher number of bookish quiet types and, being very social and active, he didn't want this type of roommate.
So, the year is almost over, and they continue to be very good friends. They have joined a frat together (this is a whole other story - never thought our son was a frat type - oh well). They seem to be very happy and are happy to be surrounded by new friends. They have their own interests (different sports and different majors) so they're certainly not stuck like glue. Overall, it seems to have worked out well.
Still can't believe they're together though - this is a kid who tromped through our house when he was three and was an on and off fixture through the years.
The key here, though, is that both wanted to do it. If your D is reluctant, that's a different story. She should go with her heart and do what she thinks is right. Sounds like they might be very compatible - so the idea of rooming together might work. But if your daughter wants to room with someone new - she shouldn't feel pressured. This is her time...</p>
<p>My oldest D debated whether to room with a friend from high school freshman year at Smith. Instead they asked to be assigned to the same floor. The college was able to do this.</p>
<p>I went to college with my best friend. We asked to be placed in the same residential college, but not to room together. We wound up in separate quads on the same floor in the same entryway, sharing a bathroom. We wound up duplicating that arrangement our senior year, too (exactly the same kids in his room, other kids from our freshman entryway in mine).</p>
<p>It was the absolutely perfect arrangement. Because he and I were close (and remained close throughout college), both sets of roommates became friends, too. At various points, I shared rooms with some of his freshman/senior roommates, and he with some of my sophomore roommates. We always had each other, but we always had the ability to get away from one another if we needed to, too, and that was pretty important in sustaining the friendship through some challenges. In fact, we never risked actually sharing the same "room" until the summer after we graduated, when we rented a big, dilapidated house together on Martha's Vineyard and filled it with our siblings and friends. (That was our swan song to that stage of our friendship, since we were headed to opposite sides of the country -- and are now on opposite sides of the world.)</p>
<p>It was great to have a close friend close by at the beginning of college. People were drawn to our comfort with each other, since hardly anyone else around had anyone they fully trusted. We (mainly he) had been popular, cool kids in high school, and that carried over into college in a way I doubt either of us would have been able to pull off on our own.</p>
<p>Great suggestions - I will share these all with my D. </p>
<p>Yes, I have talked to my D about how it will be nice to have someone who really "knows" her nearby - kind of like a family "guardian angel" down the hall who has a tie with home and all that . </p>
<p>The D of a friend roomed with the sister of a high school classmate (the classmate was one of a set of triplets, but the sibs attended different high schools). This is sort of analogous to rooming with a high school acquaintence who is not a close friend. These 2 roomies meshed well, and I think are together again this year.
Another benefit for the friend's D was more people to share rides back home with, you can always find someone to share the ride and the gas.</p>
<p>I roomed with my best friend freshman and sophomore years in college. Although we got along fine, it was a definite crutch and allowed me to avoid having to put myself out there and make new friends. I regret it to this day (31 years later).</p>
<p>I roomed with a HS friend freshman year. Big mistake. You'd have thought I'd learned but I roomed with another HS friend sophomore year. Even bigger mistake. We'd have all been so much better of if we'd been in the same dorm, but not as roomies. Like SuNa I regret it still. DH had a different experience. Freshman roomie by chance was kinda nuts. Roomed with a guy he met there in a house the rest of the time and did great. DD got a great room mate this year but she's going to an apartment next year. DD wants (and so do we!) at least another year in the dorm. She's going into the lottery for a room mate. DH is afraid that this means she has no friends that will room with her. Actually she's been invited to several houses/apartments. She figures that right now she's more concerned about getting into the dorm she wants and the room mate thing will happen however it happens. Get over it dad!</p>
<p>My son roomed with a friend (not best friend though) to start this freshman year, and he has said it was a mistake. They got along fine, but he was extremely disappointed with the social side of the dorm his first semester. He feels that if he had been forced to meet someone new that it would have helped, although depending on the roommate I suppose it also could have been worse.</p>
<p>He is much happier after moving into a fraternity for the 2nd semester.</p>
<p>My daughter's experience is a little relevant here, too. One of her housemates this year (her second) is a boy who has been a friend -- but not a close one, in the past -- since fourth grade, and the two of them will be sharing another apartment next year. That's been a good experience, too. They don't have a lot of friends or social life in common, but they have a lot of long-term comfort, respect, and trust, and the parents all know each other at least a little. All of that makes some of the roommate stuff easier.</p>
<p>To echo what others have said: I went to college with a good friend, and we requested to be on the same floor but not roommates. That worked out great for us; it 'doubled' our contacts. But my D, a freshman this year, roomed with her friend (otherwise, they would have had to be in different dorms), and I don't think they have gotten to know others on their floor very much.</p>
<p>My S and his best friend from high school were roommates freshman year, moved off campus together for soph. year and added two more friends to their apt. One was another h.s friend and the other a new friend they met freshman year. S and his best friend are very much alike and are both involved in the same time consuming EC so they thought it would be optimum if they roomed together rather than subjecting an unknown roommate to the erratic schedule of their EC. </p>
<p>They lived in an all freshman dorm so met plenty of new people as their room was on the corner between the hall bathroom and the common room so lots of people stopped by to talk and hang out. It worked out well. </p>
<p>They plan to stay in the apartment together until graduation. </p>
<p>My freshman year I roomed with a girl my boyfriend suggested for my roommate. She was the girlfriend of his roommate and they all thought it would be the perfect situation. They were all a year ahead of me in school.<br>
I went along with the plan and boy did it backfire. By the end of the first semester, both of us had broken up and the roomie and I could barely stand each other. I picked out my own roomie for soph. year and was very happy!</p>