<p>My roommate moved in about 2 months ago (transfer from another dorm). We didn't get off to a very good start -- she brought in a crucifix while I have tons of pro-gay posters on my wall. Yeah. As such, we've probably said about 5 words to each other since she moved in, and we didn't expect to be friends at all.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I let her walk over me a bit in trying to be a nice "host". (I know that was a stupid way to start, but when someone new comes in I really start to feel like it's a guest, not a roommate under a professional agreement.) It started off with her having control of the temperature in the room (which I was fine with), then her choosing when the lights were on/off, then her taking over the fridge... and now she's sort of wearing the pants in this room.</p>
<p>This didn't bother me much, though. I'm in class 25 hours a week, I have a job, and I study in other places. I'm only in the room when I sleep, and she's usually asleep at that time. Recently, though, she's started bringing her boyfriend over. They come in at about midnight, turn on the lights, cook dinner, watch a movie, and occasionally go a bit further if you know what I mean. I started off just pretending to be asleep. Now I'm effing sick and tired of this crap, and she doesn't seem to get the hint when I ask them to keep it down or when I walk out. I'm EXTREMELY uncomfortable with having a man in the room, and I'd like it if she could send me a text or leave me a note ahead of time if she plans on having a guy in the room so I can find somewhere else to sleep.</p>
<p>I'm a wimp at confrontation. How can I make her realize that I'd like some warning or else for her to take it to his place?</p>
<p>Tell her how Jesus frowns upon premarital sex.</p>
<p>Anyway, (wo)man up and just tell her to text you when she plans on having her boyfriend in the room. You’re going to have a lot more situations in real life where you’re going to have to speak up for yourself, better to get comfortable with it now when the only problem is a roommate who can’t keep it in her pants when her roomie’s in the room.</p>
<p>The problem here isn’t that you can’t come up with a viable solution. The problem is that you know what to do, but you’re not willing to step out of your comfort area to do it. Stop leaving subtle hints and just sit down and talk to her like a mature adult.</p>
<p>With much struggle, I got my roommate to agree to no guests after 11 on school nights, 2am on weekends, and no male overnight guests unless I happen to be gone for the night. After a few weeks of being annoyed at me she realized I was right anyway. And believe me, it is so worth it to not be uncomfortable anymore. If all you want is for her to give you a heads up I really can’t imagine it being that big of a deal. You’re making this out to be worse than it is, if you talked to her about it she may very well be cool with it-- she’d probably prefer you weren’t there when she “occasionally goes a bit further.”</p>
<p>I feel for you, but you’re as much to blame in this situation for keeping quiet. Maybe she sincerely doesn’t know that these things bother you, and it’s your fault for not letting her know.</p>
<p>As soon as she moved in, what you two needed to do was sit down and establish some guidelines/policies with each other. Warn each other of each others’ habits, develop a strategy for coexisting peacefully. It’s not too late to do this. Sit down with her, let her know that you would like some warning for when her boyfriend comes over. The worst that could happen is that she gets angry, but so what? The message will still stick.</p>
<p>Listen here girlfriend, this is what you do - you get revenge. It’s the only solution. Drive her out of the place. Play loud music, have gay friends over and party, party, party. Give her a dose of her own medicine.</p>
Your out on your own now ( likely adult) and you definately can not allow one to walk all over you especially considering that it is affecting your living environment. You should definately not feel uncomfortable just sitting down and talking all this out with your roommate and if no agreement is made its clear that one of you should find another dorm… simple as that, wouldn’t make it more complicated than it should be or it will just make matters worst.</p>