Roommate Probs...

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>So I realize there are thousands of posts on this, but I need someone to confirm to me that I'm not being the *****y, uptight roommate nobody wants! First, I live in an on campus apartment so there are no RAs or anyone really to help me control this situation. I ended up getting roomed with a freshman because the dorms filled up (I'm from out of state so I get on campus housing, my fellow sophomore who was supposed to be my roommate is not.). At first I let her get away with her "crazy" behavior, which I will describe below, because I figured she just moved out of her house and after a week or two it would go away. It hasn't. It's kind of gotten worse, and I'm worried about the state the apartment is in and the fact that I can pretty much never bring my friends over.</p>

<p>So to get to her behavior, mainly on weekend nights: </p>

<p>There's always at least 20 different people in my apartment through the course of the night. Usually 5 - 10 at a time, but there's been occasions where I've counted over 15. We don't live in a mansion, it's an apartment. These many people don't fit - what if me or our other roommate want friends over?!? </p>

<p>Half the time she's not in the apartment with the people she has over. Yesterday she was apologizing for the footprints all over the walls saying she didn't know how it happened. Yea, of course you don't, you just left 10 drunk people in the apartment by themselves. This is in violation of a rule we already set last month.</p>

<p>They stay from like 5pm until 4 or 5 in the morning. And then 2 - 5 people spend the night. I'm paying for a third of this apartment and should not be giving my living space to someone else's guests every night. Secondly, we had a rule that everybody is out by midnight. (seriously, if you don't have anywhere else to be by then you should be out making friends. There's a frat house a block away. Please go there.) If I'm here after midnight it's because I want to sleep. And when I get back at 2 or 3 am from another party, which is where they should be, I definitely want to sleep. </p>

<p>Biggest thing - she never ever tells anyone that there's people coming over. By now I expect it, but it's still rude. </p>

<p>I feel like this is obvious, but when there's a ton of drunk people they get loud and crazy. They always have music blasting and there will be people dancing on the tables and climbing on top of the cupboards and fridge. And throwing things out the window and yelling at people. And spilling beverages all over the floor and not mopping them up. It's not like they're just pregaming here, it's an actual lame party going on. In our brand new apartment. Am I crazy or do we need to have another sit down?? If so, how do actually enforce rules with somebody who could care less? And sorry this is really long. I'm just frustrated.</p>

2

<p>You need to address this right now. Not only is your roommate allowing all kinds of behaviors, but she is jeopardizing your security. Your things could be stolen, broken, etc. Your landlord could kick you out for damage done to the apartment. You should make it very clear to this girl that if any of this occurs again, she will have to find a new place to live. You should start hunting for a new room mate to help with the lease, and have that person on stand by because it sounds like your room mate is not going to last long anyway. Partying like she is doing, she probably won’t be very successful with academics, and may leave school anyway! Get your other roommate on board too.</p>

3

<p>Thanks! The problem is, I can’t just kick her out. I wish I could though! These apartments are run by the university and are individual leases, it’s more like a dorm setup but more space and without the supervision. If I can’t get a handle on it I do plan on going to the leasing manager but I’m not sure what would happen.</p>

4

<p>Use your phone and take pics/record events. If the uni. is ultimately in charge, it is their responsibility to handle the illegal/underage activity happening there. Go to the housing department, show them the pics, tell them what has been going on, and that you are worried about your security, and your belongings. There is nothing to stop a party-goer from planting drugs in your room so they don’t get caught, etc, and that would not be funny for you if you get mixed up in this stuff. Ask if they can send some sort of person to mediate a discussion between all roommates, etc. If they won’t help, tell them you have no choice but to call police then. THAT should get them moving, because those are stats they don’t want that speak negatively about the school. Act quickly, because at the rate your roommie is going, someone is going to be rushed to the hospital or worse!</p>

5

<p>Are you advocating for yourself at all? When your roommates’ friends are in your apartment and she’s not even there why aren’t the both of you telling them to leave?</p>

6

<p>Review your roommate agreement with this idiot, tell her you have reached your limit, and that if she cannot live by the rules, you will be calling the police the next time you come home to a party you did not consent to. Then actually follow through.</p>

7

<p>If the apartment is run by your university, then there should be a Housing department you can contact. Tell them what has been happening, and ask for them to send some sort of formal warning to your roommate (either an in-person mediator to go over the housing rules with your roommate, or a direct call/email to your roommate). That should scare her into behaving. If that doesn’t work, file a request for a change of roommates.</p>

8

<p>A lot of times a change can be made at the semester break. With students coming and going from study abroad, a lot of time housing opens up that wasn’t open before – at most colleges more students go abroad in the spring than the fall, so that helps. You could go see housing NOW and ask about getting on a waiting list to change rooms at the semester. You can sit down and make rules, but when your roommate is really kind of crazy and you have no personal connection to them, maybe it is time to just move. Plus, then you are not stuck with damage deposit costs at the end of the year!</p>