<p>I just got my roommates for freshman year. I'm in a triple and I just got in contact with both of them. I'm really worried because our personalities do not seem to be alike in anyway. I am very outgoing, extraverted, like to have fun, etc. After talking to both of them a good amount, they are very nice, which is awesome, but they are very quiet, keep to themselves types of people. </p>
<p>Also, both of them don't drink and I do, which worries me.</p>
<p>Should I just wait until school starts and see what happens?, or should I request a change?</p>
<p>Our personalities just don't seem to work well with each other. I know I shouldn't judge who they are solely by what they look like on facebook or what they talk like, but I've talked to them a good amount, and I'm seriously worried. Having 2 roommates that don't share any common interests with me doesn't seem like a fun time.</p>
<p>Every roommate dynamic relationship is different. Just because your roommate isn’t your best friend doesn’t mean you shouldn’t room together. In fact, sometimes those relationships can be better for you. Most people form their first social circles with the people who live on their hall and not necessarily their roommate. I know this was true for many of my friends. You may not have the ideal roommate experience in the world but it will probably be fine. Be open minded. It certainly doesn’t take common interests to become friends and live compatibly. </p>
<p>At the end of the day, your room is just where you sleep (usually) and study (sometimes). Not having the same interests may be a little inconvenient but certainly isn’t grounds for changing rooms. I highly doubt you’re even allowed to request a room change this early. If you do ever request a change, it’s preceded by a meeting between the roommates with the RA to discuss if it’s necessary and if there are other solutions. Room changes on the commons aren’t exactly convenient, and you end up with a person who had issues with their previous roommate, so who knows how that could turn out.</p>
<p>The kind of issues that warrant room change are utter incompatibility- people that are fighting or totally inconsiderate of eachother or something like that. I know plenty of roommates who weren’t the great friends and even a few who really didn’t care for eachother at all and they still made it work. This is the risk you take when you go random!</p>
<p>What are your actual concerns other than your room not “seeming fun”?</p>
<p>I would give it a chance. The type of differences that matter are those that create conflict. You are outgoing, they are not - maybe you will end up dragging them to events until they hit their comfort level. Or maybe they will help you stay home sometimes to focus on your studies. They don’t drink, you do - are you planning on having parties with friend in your room? If not, that should have no bearing.</p>
<p>No, these are not people you might have chosen as roommates, but it might turn out to be a good balance of personalities. Do you really want to be in a room with 2 other people just like yourself? That could cause just as many problems as divergent personalities. As long as you don’t keep them up at night, and they don’t wake you up too early in the morning, you should be fine. Also, who know who you would end up with if you get a change.</p>
<p>Instead wait and see what happens. Often some students don’t show up at the beginning of the year, and students in quads and triples are given the first chance to move into the available space (and you would know who you’re moving in with ahead of time).</p>
<p>These responses make me feel better, so thank you. @Pancaked my main concern was making friends. I was always expecting my roommates to be my first friends in college, as since you’re living with them, that would only seem natural. But when you say that hallmates become your first social group that makes me feel better knowing that there are other easy and quick ways to make friends than just your roommates. </p>
<p>My D’s freshman year roommate freshman year was someone with whom she had nothing at all in common … but D made friends with other girls on her floor. You will be fine. If it’s not the ideal situation, you will find that the year goes quickly.</p>
<p>I would echo what Kelsmom said…my daughter’s freshman roommate was not her best friend but they reached a comfort level that worked for both of them. That said, she did know several girls who switched roommates during first semester, so the school does seem willing to make changes. But go in to it with an open mind and try to make it work–as others have said, the room to which they switch you will likely not be a single and you will not be able to select who you want your roommate to be (or even which dorm you want).</p>
<p>My D also did not click with her freshman roommate. But, she quickly became good friends with other girls in her hallway. The most important things you want in your roommates are cleanliness, respect for your things, and habits that don’t interfere with your need to study. It sounds like your roommates will probably be fine on all counts. And, by the way, the triples are amazing–they are huge!</p>
<p>The freshman class at Vanderbilt is highly academic, and diverse nationally and geographically. People who were completely caught up in perfection in high school may surprise you by becoming much more social in college once they get their sea legs. It is to be expected that a significant amount of students entering highly selective colleges didn’t really develop their social selves in high school. Give everyone a break and some time–years in fact, not weeks. College is much more about finding your individuality rather than your place in a group. You will not be judged on your random roommate assignments by your peers. However, you will be judged by your peers for your gracefulness in being sincerely interested in others and in the amount of courtesy you extend to roommates even if you do not spend Friday or Saturday nights with them. It is not expected that you will become future roommates with your first year roommates at all, nor do you have to eat in the dining hall with them or study at the library with them.<br>
My Duke son got all bent out of shape a few yrs ago because his roommate assigned had no FB page at all. He decided he must be socially inept etc. This was very childish of him. His roommate of course is now an engineer traveling the world and when we met him he found out that he was a mountain climbing savant who could do pullups all day, had a killer mind and was from a fine and interesting background. He spent a lot of his weekends climbing and sometimes joined our son in some social gatherings. They didn’t join the same living groups the next year.
Friendships take a while to root themselves. Everyone is just trying on hats and taking in the scene when they get there. If you are comfortable in the Greek scene, by all means make your interests known and join other girls you meet in your building in the information sessions about rushing. As long as your drinking and your social life doesn’t interfere with your roommates’ sleep or study, you are golden. Nothing will stop you from having a fun social life at Vanderbilt as long as you maintain a good opinion of others and stay open-hearted. good luck and congrats on your admission</p>
<p>I forgot to address your concern about making friends–you will bond with kids on your hall initially AND, once you begin to get more involved in your classes, you will make friends in class, especially in those subjects that are likely to become your major, since you have shared interests.</p>