Roommate with GF over all the time? What to do?

Student Lounge College Life
1

So I’m living in a dorm right now and about 2 months ago my roommate started bringing over his “friend” over all the time. He maintains that they’re not dating but I walk in on them all the time lying in bed shirtless (now that I think about it they probably just pause whatever they’re doing when I come back). He doesn’t warn me not to come in or ask me what time I’m coming back. For instance, today I came back from the library to them doing stuff in bed at 6 PM (I had been there for about 4 hrs).

He started having her sleep over like 4 or 5 nights a week but then I said that I wasn’t comfortable with them staying up until 4AM on weeknights and said I’d prefer it if she only slept over on the weekend. So now she just spends her afternoons in our room daily and leaves her stuff here until about 3 or 4 AM when she goes home.

Lately I’ve been getting a little fed up with walking into them in bed all the time and cleaning up her mess after she leaves (once I had to pick up a tampon…gross…), so I told my roommate that he needs to make sure I won’t be in the room whenever they do things in bed and also to tell her to pick up after herself before leaving. He didn’t really respond and just said we’d talk about it later, but I think he’s just dodging the discussion as a whole. Am I being unreasonable in asking these things? What should I do in order to stop it?

2

I don’t think asking these things is unreasonable. He’s sharing the room with you.

If talking to him doesn’t work, perhaps talk to your RA about it, one-on-one. He/she should know what to do. It could involve relocating you, or warning/evicting your roommate.

3

First you need to think what you think is acceptable.
Maybe it is: She has to leave by 11:00pm (or whenever you go to bed) on weekdays. She can sleep over on weekends.
He is responsible for cleaning up for her, and you will clean up after yours.
You will text on your way back to the room and you expect everyone to be dressed at that point.

Then talk to him. Say that you have thought about this more and you realize that you feel like you are a third wheel in your own room and that you would like to propose the above.

If he won’t agree then talk to your RA about what to do.

4

Time for the RA is now. You pay for the room, you should NEVER feel you can’t be there. Why don’t they go to HER room? Probably because her roommate won’t allow it.

There is a solution for him - get a single!

You’re in the right here. He doesn’t have a right to use the whole room except by agreement. If you want to agree to ‘you take one weekend night and I’ll take the other’ that’s reasonable, but he needs to be fair to you too.