<p>WCM,
You have raised one fine D. Tact, maturity, and good thinking on her feet. She’ll learn a lot from this, and hopefully the RM will too. Agree with miminva – an excellent tactic by your D!</p>
<p>WCM - doesn’t this make you feel better about how she will handle other struggles in her life? You have raised a courageous kid.</p>
<p>That’s what I was thinking, teriwitt. Drama to the right of her, drama to the left of her, but she kept it cool. What was that wonderful poem “If you can keep your head when all about you… Are losing theirs and blaming it on you…” </p>
<p>Those of us whose kids have had challenges of various kinds early in their college careers… this is the silver lining. Knowing that they can handle the curveballs, the setbacks. Resilience and cool… two great attributes.</p>
<p>And sometimes our maternal emotions get us all upset about things like this, where the kids see things much more rationally. Loyalty is so important to kids that she just basically saw through to the main issue here. She is so smart! Kudos to her!</p>
<p>
That’s what I kind of guessed… which is why I didn’t think that your d. would want or need to change roommates. The current situation gives your D. the practical benefits of a single room – why give that up? </p>
<p>Also, I wouldn’t fault the RM all that much if she indeed has a “crazy” mom – she probably had a rough time growing up and fell into the habit of bending the truth in order to get her mom off her back. It’s not the best solution, but for that particular kid, honest & open communication with the mom may not be an option either – especially if the mom is dead set on breaking up her relationship with her bf. The RM probably could not have anticipated quite how far her mom would take it – in fact, she might have thought she was protecting WCM’s daughter by making up some story to deter her mom from making repeated phone calls to the room when she wasn’t there. (As in, “please don’t call the room if you can’t reach me on my cell phone, my roommate sleeps a lot and doesn’t like to be disturbed”) </p>
<p>I can see the friendship between the roommies deteriorating simply because the RM now spends all her time with the BF… but I don’t think we CC’ers need to pile it on over how immature the roommate is. There was a mistake in judgment … but a kid with a crazy, overbearing parent often has to walk a very careful line not to trigger some sort of drama, and can often be in a damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t situation.</p>