How do u deal with a roommate who loves to party, drink, smoke, etc when you don’t do any of that?
Smoke would push me over the edge. Change roommates.
Is this in a dorm/university owned housing or off campus housing?
On campus
Best case scenario the roommate does this outside of the room and somehow in the room you can both live respectfully with one another. If not, look for a new roommate and to make a change when you can. Good luck.
Is the roommate doing this in your room, or just partying a lot and coming back drunk and smelling of smoke? If it’s going on in your room, you have to be brave and tell her that it’s unacceptable in the room. You are paying for the room too, and she doesn’t have the right to break the rules in order to party in the room. If she ignores you, get the RA involved. Make plans to move out meanwhile. Things might get uncomfortable, but it’s better than living with smoking and drinking. If she is simply coming back drunk all the time, you can talk to her about being quiet and get the RA involved if it continues to be unacceptably noisy, but you can’t stop it from happening outside your dorm room. In either case, it sounds like a move is in order.
If it is outside your room, then there is not much you can do about it. It is nice if you can be friends with your roommate, but it doesn’t always work out. Find friends who don’t do that.
If it is inside your room, you need to directly tell your roommate what is not acceptable. “Roommate, i wanted to talk to you about the smoking and drinking in the room. This is a non-smoking building and also I don’t want to get implicated if alcohol is found. Please do that outside the room.”
Not sure if partying is code for doing drugs or having many people over. Either way, same deal.
The next step if they dont’ stop is to talk to your RA… “I have asked my roommate to stop smoking in the room. He won’t. What should my next steps be?”
If it there is a medical issue because of the smoke, then talk to housing.
From personal experience (I had a similar situation last semester) it’s probably better to try and talk to your roommate about it. I always tried to grin and bear it because I had already been moved around dorms so many times due to other issues that I didn’t want to be a pain but that got me into trouble when my parents came and my roommate left various bottles of alcohol all over the room and left it smelling like smoke knowing that my parents were coming.
Anyway, maybe consider sitting down the the roommate and asking them to not smoke/drink in the room, and then if that does not work follow @bopper’s advice and talk to an RA. This is definitely not something you should just try to tolerate.
Moving out is your best option. I didn’t want to have to move. I loved where my first dorm room was located, but with smoking roommates I really had no choice. I don’t like the location of my new room nearly as much, but it’s nice to not have to worry about what my roommate is doing.