Sad at Home, please help!

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi Parents,
I've been lurking around on CC for a while now, particularly in the Parents Forum, and you guys seem pretty wise so I'm hoping for some help with something. I'm currently a senior in college, and I'm home on Christmas break.</p>

<p>My problem is that for some reason, being at home always seems to make me feel sort of sad. I'm not sure exactly why, but this has been the case since at least the summer after my freshman year, during which I spent the entire 3 months at home and miserable (not sure if this is relevant but just before coming home, I'd had a bad, messy breakup with my bf at college). Anyway, since then I've never spent more than 3 weeks at home at one time, but almost every time I end up in this sort of strange, depressed state. When I'm at school, everything is fine, even if things in my life aren't perfect I'm generally happy and having a good time, but when I come home, it seems like the things I thought I'd pretty much shaken off seem to bubble up again and nag at me.</p>

<p>The reason this is bothering me now is that whenever I'm home and talking to my mom, I tend to start talking about certain things (whether its future career related, my love life, my eating habits, anything), and end up crying for whatever reason, and I can tell it really annoys her. I was talking to her today and got upset, and finally explained to her that being at home just sort of makes me sad, and she said she's noticed that she can't seem to talk to me without me getting upset, and that maybe she should just leave me alone. She then went to bed. </p>

<p>I'm really not sure what the problem is with me or what to do about it, so I was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and maybe could help me out. I know my mother always looks forward to my coming home and I hate knowing that I ruin it every time, so any advice related to any of this would be welcome ...</p>

<p>Thanks so much.</p>

2

<p>Jerseygirl, could it be that you're missing your freedom when you're at home? </p>

<p>You don't mention what your home life was like before you went to college, or how much you enjoy being at college, but maybe it's that when you're away, you feel like a grown up, but when you come home, you feel like you've slid backwards into childhood. </p>

<p>My oldest son is a senior, too. He goes to school about 120 miles away, and comes home every other weekend to work, and spend time with his girlfriend, who graduated in May. I've noticed the past couple of years that when he's in town, he doesn't spend much time actually at home. He will come by and check in with me, and let me know he's alive. But he rarely actually spends any time here. I've never really talked to him about it because he's never been the type to open up to me. I've mostly just tried to let him have his space, and enjoy the few moments we have together. I don't want to make him feel guilty because he doesn't spend enough time with mom.</p>

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<p>
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when I come home, it seems like the things I thought I'd pretty much shaken off seem to bubble up again and nag at me.

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</p>

<p>What things?</p>