<p>Would any kind person be willing to evaluate this SAT essay (Writing Skills section)? I'm curious about what score you think it might get, but I'm mostly looking for potential improvements that could lead to a better score. Thank you. (I'm an international student)</p>
<p>Assignment: Can success be disastrous? </p>
<p>Success is a dangerous mistress. The people who strive for success have exceptional skills and great force of character, but even greater is their desire for success. Success may mean a great deal, such as power, money, knowledge and love, but it doesnt necessarily mean happiness. History and literature prove that those who have pursued success have ultimately found themselves miserable.
Napoleon Bonaparte is Frances most notorious leader. Since he was a young military general he had great plans and expected a lot from himself. Consequently, he struggled and climbed the stairs of the career ladder one by one. His masterplan was finalized with his coronation as Emperor of France; but having conquered most of Europe, it still wasnt enough for Bonaparte. His good luck ended in the battle of Waterloo, when he was defeated by the enemies armies. Finally, he abdicated and spent the rest of his life in a deserted island, isolated from everything.
Jay Gatsby from the Great Gatsby also exemplifies the deadly promises of success. Gatsby was initially a hopeful young lieutenant who believed that he would achieve great accomplishments in his life. His famed muse was Daisy, a charming wealthy debutante he was in love with. The man spent most of his years struggling for power, money and fortune in order to be worthy of her and her love. But when he achieved success, Daisy was reluctant towards him and everything he has to offer. In the end, Gatsby regards his life with contempt and falls into a grave state where he has nothing left to fight for.
Success might indeed lead to fortunate consequences and accomplish our greatest desires, but it might also change our lives and consequently change ourselves in unpredictable ways. Therefore, we should be careful with what we wish for, because it might turn back at us a hundred times worse.</p>