SAT essay feedback??

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hi guys,
Could you guys read my practice SAT essay and give it a grade from 0-12? I'm sorry if it is a little long.</p>

<p>Here is the prompt: "Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view........"</p>

<p>Here is my essay:
It is important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority for the well being of the common people. Myriad examples from literature, media, and my personal life clearly elucidate that people in positions of authority often deserve to be questioned.
In the television show Glee, Sue asks Mr. Schuester to give her his setlist for a music competition known as Sectionals. Sue, in a sense, has control over Mr. Schuester. Rather than considering the possible consequences of revealing the setlist, he mindlessly gives Sue the entire setlist and, as a result, the Glee club faces several quagmires at the competition. Had Mr. Schuester questioned Sue's intentions, the Glee club would not have faced such abominable catastrophies during the competition, despite being solidly prepared.
In the novel Know Your Ways, written in 1972, Franklin Parks is commited of murder. Rather than be convicted, Franklin demands a thorough DNA test, which reveals that he is not the murderer. If Franklin did not request an exacting DNA test and trusted the official's statement, he would be undeservantly suffering in jail.
The importance of questioning authorities is also demonstrated by my experiences at school. A few years ago, I recall feeling devastated after receiving an 81 on an AP Biology test. Rather than checking to see if any errors were made by the teacher in grading it, I simply took the grade as it was. A few weeks later, when it was too late, I realized that my teacher graded my paper wrong and that I actually deserved an 89. Had I been more queestioning of my teacher, a person in authority over me, I would have received a higher grade in Biology that year.
After a careful analysis of Glee, Know Your Ways, and personal anecdotes, questioning the people in positions of authority is indeed important in maintaining the happiness and well-being of other people. If people do not question the claims of authorities, many fatal mistakes will be made, and groups or societies will fall apart as a result.</p>

<p>Thank you!</p>

2

<p>Pretty good! I would give this at most a 5. The problem here, you see, is your vocabulary, grammar, and sentence structure are good, but your 2nd example is weak and underdeveloped. If you choose to write about 3 examples, you should expound on the three a bit more. But the problem here, you see, is when you write 3 examples in the given 2 pages, you don’t have much space to write about your examples in detail. So I would stick with 2 examples. </p>

<p>Next time, write only 2 examples. In this case, you could expound on the 1st example a lot more. The third example is fine. Again, I’m not an expert, and you should ask your teacher. But in my opinion, your essay is good, at it gets AT MOST a 5. Keep up, and next time, write about 2 examples, and write about them in detail.</p>

<p>Great Job!</p>

3

<p>this would probably receive an 8</p>

4

<p>Thanks guys!</p>