<p>I wrote this essay as part of a practice test i took today and wanted you guys to grade it for me.</p>
<p>A mistakenly cynical view of human behavior holds that people are primarily driven by selfish motives: the desire for wealth, for power, or for fame. Yet history gives us many esamples of individuals who have sacrificed their own welfare for a cause or a principle that they regarded as more important than their own lives. Conscience-that powerful inner voice that tells us what is right and wrong-can be a more compelling force than money, power or fame.</p>
<p>Assignment: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money fame, or power? (rest of collegeboard directions)
My Essay:
The choice between right and wrong can be a difficult one to make in difficult circumstance. The role of conscience in one’s decision is greatly influenced by ones upbringing and moral values. However, most people, when the pressure is on, will choose to follow their conscience, to do what is right, no matter what the materialistic incentive may be.</p>
<p>Humans, by nature, are altruistic animals. Most people choose to do what is best for everyone, with some private interests saved for themselves. The classical republican philosophy of government reflects this. It suggests that humans work for the common good, placing civic virtue before personal pleasure. If people place themselves first, choosing materialistic pleasures over conscience, guilt begins to take hold. Guiltiness is a reason that people will choose to do the right thing instead of the wrong thing. A heavy heart will almost always outweigh money, fame and power. </p>
<p>For some people though, money and fame are worth doing the wrong thing. In Huckleberry Finn, the duke and the king practice deceit constantly, lying to Huck, Jim and a whole town. The two make hoards of money by cheating townsfolk out of their planned show. When people do reject conscience, society in turn makes them into social outcasts, another reason to choose conscience over fame and money.</p>
<p>Celebrities are often viewed as the rich and famous, only concerned with personal well being. Some though, use their influence on popular culture in a positive way by following what their heart says to do. For instance, many famous people set up charities and donate time and money towards the well being of others. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is an example of this generosity towards others that are in need. Also, Bill Gates choose [sic] to give his entire fortune to charity instead of his children, so that many people could benefit instead of just his kids.</p>
<p>Marion Jones recently chose to come clean about using steroids in the Olympics. Her choice to do the right thing most likely stemmed from a growing sense of guilt that she could not get rid of. Swapping her medals and her fame for a clear conscience was well worth it for her. </p>
<p>To do what is right provides humans with a happiness that does not go away. Conversely, money and fame may only provide temporary happiness, and, more than likely, bring more pain than happiness. Choosing the right path of life, living with a happy and clear conscience, is always the best option.</p>
<p>-I have read through it a few times but could still use some outside advice. Please critique it and score it for me.</p>