I’m doing some last-minute prepping for the SAT and need some advice to help bring up my essay scores. Would anyone be willing to grade this essay and provide feedback on how I can improve? Thank you!
Prompt: Has the emphasis on individualism in our society caused people to forget the importance of belonging to a community?
By nature, members of the human race rely on one another, ensuring survival as well as psychological well-being. This ages-old instinct of interdependence has been challenged as of late with newfound sentiments of increased individualism. However, as evidenced throughout philosophy, current events, and literature, this heightened emphasis on uniqueness has in fact augmented the significance of belonging to a group of like-minded individuals.
The popularity of the transcendentalism movement from the mid-19th to early 20th century illustrates the parallels between elevated individualism and sense of cohesiveness. Specifically, the philosophies highlighted throughout this movement emphasized one’s detachment from the industrial, buzzing mainstream society, finding a close spiritual link with nature, and using this environmental inspiration to find individualistic significance in life, rather than focusing on one’s pragmatic contributions to progress. It was through this specific mindset that the earliest surviving American outdoorsman services and groups were formed, such as the National Parks Service and John Muir’s Sierra Club. Indeed, this seemingly isolating and individualistic dogma found success in the creation of communities of those with similar beliefs.
In addition, consider the current activism performed by the tightly-knit LGBT community throughout the world in its efforts to promote uniqueness and self-expression. Historically, those who have belonged to this group have faced suffocating suppression and discouragement from public display of their own sexuality, and as a result have been unwillingly forced to conform to a false identity. Today, this group promotes individual self-expression and protests conformation, encouraging its members through an ever-growing network of individuals of various sexual orientations. In sum, although the purpose of the LGBT community is to fight forced homogeneity, it is this common goal that allows its members to find confidence and strength in union.
As a final vivid example, select groups of African-Americans during the civil rights movement in the United States display cohesiveness through their efforts to distance themselves from mainstream culture. One defining work of this period, A Raisin in the Sun, by Lorraine Hansberry, in part describes the individual growth of Beneatha, a woman who struggles to express her African roots and distance herself from the middle-class, white society. In naturalizing her usually manicured appearance and researching her ancestors, she meets other individuals with similar interests. Therefore, the societal emphasis on cultural diversity and uniqueness in fact led Beneatha and others like her to tightly-knit groups.
An elevated sentiment of individualism in society does not by any means necessitate decreased focus on interconnectedness, as demonstrated by Transcendentalism, the LGBT community, and A Raisin in the Sun. In fact, such promotion of uniqueness indubitably inspires one to separate from the masses and find strength and inspiration in like-minded individuals.