<p>Hello,</p>
<p>I just got my May SAT scores. I got an 8 on my essay. Personally, this is disappointing. I view the essay as easy points and I thought I would have done better. I am taking the June SAT in about 10 days. I have been studying nonstop but I would really like some help honing my essay technique. Here are the main points of how I wrote it:</p>
<p>1) Length! I wrote my essay so that it filled all of the way through the entire last line of the second page. From reading through CC, I thought this was a good thing to do.</p>
<p>2) I went with a 4 paragraph format. I had a clear thesis that I stated in the first sentence of the opening paragraph. I then reiterated my thesis at the end of both of the example paragraphs, tying them into the thesis. I also restated the thesis in the conclusion paragraph.</p>
<p>3) I had two examples. These examples were predetermined. My two examples were rather niche historical events. At the beginning of each of the example paragraphs, I said what the example was and gave a tiny bit of the history of it. Then, I fabricated the details to suit my thesis. I had read on CC that fabrication was entirely acceptable—the graders don't grade based on validity—and I don't believe I lost points because of the factitious nature of my examples. I also specifically picked examples that were from odd places and time periods—so that the graders would not know very much about them.</p>
<p>4) Vocab. I tried to throw in some nice vocab words where appropriate—words like lionize, etc.</p>
<p>5) Hand writing. I don't have great handwriting. It is not abysmal, however it is not the nicest either. I really tried my best and tried to make my words as clear as possible. Could I have lost points for handwriting?</p>
<p>All in all, I thought I would do better and I am a bit disappointed. However I have another try in 10 days and I want to get it right this time. What can I do better? Where did I go wrong? Why was it only an 8 when I followed all of the methods on CC?</p>
<h2>Thanks a lot for your thoughts and help!</h2>
<p>hmmmm… everything you listed that you did is what you need to get a high essay score. My advice is maybe trying a 3 example format. And instead of having all of your examples from history (even if they are different time periods) you should try to throw in at least one literature example. You may also want to have your thesis at the end of your first paragraph, instead of the beginning. The beginning of the opening should be discussing the prompt and developing your point, then you end it with your thesis. That’s about it. Good luck!!!</p>
<p>By the way, I got a 12 on my essay, and an 800 in Writing, so I know what I’m talking about.</p>
<p>I agree with satman. Definitely try to use a few different kinds of examples. Additionally, if you are only using two examples but it is filling up the entire space then you might check to make sure that you aren’t putting in unnecessary information–just put enough about the example to make your point and move on.</p>
<p>Thanks a lot satman and greatthenate! Based on what you guys have suggested, I am trying to come up with a new template and examples for the June test. I have a few questions.</p>
<p>First, do the graders care if I put line breaks between each paragraph? I opted for line breaks instead of indents, is that alright? Second, my handwriting is a little on the messy/large side, could this be an issue? Do you think my 8 grade could have had do to with something “cosmetic” so to speak?</p>
<p>As far as examples, my first example was about a Mongolian emperor. My second was about a captain of a ship that shipped slaves from America back to freedom in Africa in the 1800s. I knew a lot about these two examples and I fabricated the details to fit the thesis. The reason I picked such obscure examples was because I did not want the grader to know anything about the topic. I also picked two examples that where about 600 years apart.</p>
<p>This time around, I am going to pick two new historical examples and—from your suggestions—a literature example. Do you think the kind of examples I outlined above would work as my historical examples? Are they decent example to mold to the thesis? As far as the literature example, like the historical ones, I would like to have it predetermined. Thus, since there will be some fabrication, I need to pick a literary example that is reasonably obscure. Do you have any tips on what kind of literary example to pick?</p>
<p>Thanks a lot for your help, I really need to improve my essay score as it will have a big impact on my overall score (I got a 670 on writing with an 8 essay and a 2030 overall).</p>
<p>I seriously think it has to do with examples. You can study your essay more in detail when it becomes available on May 28th.</p>
<p>Thanks for the reply Mash,</p>
<p>I readily await my essay! I really want to see where I went wrong—I did not anticipate a score this low. As far as the examples, what could I improve? Where do you draw from for your examples? Do you think it is a smart idea to have your 3 examples predetermined?</p>
<p>Thanks a lot for your help!</p>