SAT essay

<p>hey
I wrote this SAT essay and would really like you all to grade it and give tips on how I can improve it
thanks </p>

<p>Do you think people are capable of finding happiness or are they always searching for something beyond what they have?</p>

<p>Its true when we hear that everything or everyone is materialistic and believe in putting themselves forward only superficially in order to eliminate competition, move ahead and try and achieve things which are limitless. All sorts of emotions take over which we don’t intend to correct as we consider that it makes us move forward and search for something beyond what we have.
From a very young age, a little girl wants all the dolls she can get and is never satisfied with the dolls which she already has, she doesn’t give it the time and appreciation it deserves, but is always in a haste to receive more and is never actually satisfied until she finally does get over that age. This continues among teenagers who want the best of clothes, want to excel in all examinations and have the best of everything. Professionals, housewives aren’t behind in this rat race where the businessmen try to attain the biggest of deals that’ll get them the hugest of profits and houseswives who try their very best to boast their cooking skills but aren’t ever content really cause its difficult to realise that yes, the sky is the limit.
In order to search for something beyond what we have, we don’t mind following the wrong road which may lead to betrayal, greed, sin.. we have the biggest betrayal example of brutus plotting a murder against his own bestfriend Caesar just to attain power, et tu brute?
A thing which we don’t realise is that we may want something, but we not actually need it, like King Midas repented after everything turned to gold so its important to realise to be satisfied with what we have, and be careful for what you wish.
It’s a world of limitless possibilities where everybody tries to achieve the best through all means, and is never happy with what they have. Competition is what everybody believes in, trying to reach the top of the pyramid, and its important to realise that we are so lost in searching beyond what we have that we forget to appreciate things which we worked hard for and finally accomplished cause we have moved onto our next goal, but then this is a part of life, the thrill of attaining the unattainable which never makes man truly content or happy but then its a lot more easier to be lost than being found; that’s the reason that we’re always searching rather finding-too many locks, but not enough keys.</p>

<ol>
<li>You fourth and third paragraph look weak compared the second.</li>
</ol>

<p>"Its true when we hear that everything or everyone is materialistic and believe in putting themselves forward only superficially in order to eliminate competition, move ahead and try and achieve things which are limitless. "</p>

<p>Revise to ensure that you nouns and verbs are in agreement. Also, tighten up the topic sentence.</p>

<p>thanks! I’ll work on it</p>