<p>Prompt:can success be disastrious?
Every one wants to be successful. However the majority of people disregard that sometimes success may be dangerous and even brings disasters, because people may be come egotists when they get achievement and it will lead to horrible debacle which people dont get ready to suffer when they stand on zenith.
It can find many exemplars in history especially those powerful leader, kingdom and dictator who ignored the danger of success. Napoleon, the emperor of the French, the greatest leader and strategist, had defeated the war of coalition five times; almost vanquished the whole European and established Napoleon code, the first successful codification, but met his fiasco in Waterloo and couldnt regenerate again. Although he had great aptitude, his ambition is too unpractical and he is too arrogant. As a result, he became decline irreversibly and couldnt regenerate after war of Waterloo. When Napoleon stood in the zenith of power he thought he couldnt be defeated and the success brought him more courage so he didnt think his decision meticulously which led to his debacle terminal. From this, we can see that whatever success you have got, you cant disregard the disaster of success because everything has its two sides, so dose the success.
Furthermore, the great depression can be seen an epitome that lots of people overlooked the danger of success. During the initial twenties, America is the most wealth and power country in the world. People were numb by this outward phenomenon and bought stocks continually; almost no body realized the over-priced stocks values because they thought the increasing is good thing. However, on the October 4th,1929, everything seemed went wrong, the price of stocks decreased rapidly and many people had no time to sold out because it occurred so suddenly. A large amount of people made the same mistake and its side-effect was unexpectedly huge. Therefore success sometimes may be a peril when people only see it thriving surface.
Taking into account all the evidences above, I assert that success has its two side .People shouldnt only see its advantage and ignore its disadvantage like the coin having its two sides. Sometimes success can also be disastrous.</p>
<p>8
10charrrrrrrrrr</p>
<p>7 at the highest in my book</p>
<p>To be honest, it’s closer to a 6, or perhaps a 7 if the graders are feeling generous. However, with a few simple changes, you can easily turn it into a 8 or 9. </p>
<p>1) There’s no clear, concise thesis. The sentence that is currently serving as a thesis (‘However the majority of people…when they stand on zenith’) is convoluted and difficult to understand. In fact, I think your conclusion (‘Taking into account all the evidences above, I assert that success has its two side’) would be a better thesis than the current one because it provides a clear, easy-to-understand overview of the essay. </p>
<p>2) In my experience, taking two opposing sides in an essay will result in a lower score than will discussing the subject from a single point of view. Instead of discussing two sides of an issue, you may want to choose a single thesis (i.e. ‘In many cases, success can lead to disaster’) and gives only examples in support of that thesis.</p>
<p>3) There are a number of mechanical errors and cases of poor vocabulary. Even as a non-native English speaker, you’ll be held to the same standards as those who have been speaking the language all their lives. Work on eliminating grammar errors and choosing the vocabulary that is most appropriate for the given context.</p>
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<li>Worded terribly. And not confidence in your writing. You want to prove your point. “May become,” “may be.” Change 'em. </li>
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<p>Everyone wants to be successful. However the majority of people disregard sometimes success is dangerous and brings disasters. People become egotists when they get achievement and it will lead to a horrible debacle which people don’t get ready to suffer when they stand on zenith. </p>
<p>Sounds more confident. You put a good front on the idea you want to prove. </p>
<p>However, it still needs a lot of help – sentence structure and wording wise.</p>