Hi. I am to enter Wellesley in the fall and am overall stressing so much over it.
I applied to much to many schools and was accepted to some such as and UCLA, GW, Macalester and Wellesley. I wanted to attend Macalester, but since it is a lesser known school, my mom shut down the idea. When it came down to it, I visited Wellesley I liked it somewhat and decided to commit after a lot of pressure from others/my parents. However, I have recently been stressed out about it. I hear so many things about students being forced to choose between their mental health and grades. I’m also scared to move far away (a two hour plane ride from home), as I am not a very independent person.
I worked hard in high school to get good grades and test scores but now I feel totally unprepared to go to Wellesley. I think I am psyching myself out a bit and anticipating having a bad experience. I personally just stress out really easily and am scared that I will be too overwhelmed. I probably sound crazy right now, but I just would like some advice from people who are in/have been in a possibly similar situation.
Hey! I’m an incoming first year as well. While Wellesley was my desired college, I can understand how stressful this situation must be for you. I have days where I wonder if I shouldn’t have gone to an art college! You know, if nothing else, you could always transfer. You can contact Macalester now, tell them why you declined their offer of acceptance and tell them that you absolutely love their school. After that, try out a semester at Wellesley! The first one is shadow-graded anyway. You can ease into it with easier classes, join some clubs, find your place. I’m sure you’ll be fine no matter what. I mean, if you did well enough for Wellesley to accept you, then you’re probably more prepared than you know for the challenges at Wellesley. Just take a deep breath. You’ll be connected with your mentor in the next several months and you can talk to them about your reservations.
And you know, I’m not independent AT ALL, and I’m moving from Florida…still a little freaked out by that…but it’s going to be a good growing experience. We all have to cut the cord eventually.
I hope this helped. If you want to talk anymore, feel free to PM me!
Hi OP, I’m a current Wellesley student. First off, it’s totally normal to be nervous, but don’t psych yourself out! It seems like Wellesley wasn’t your top choice, but since you’ll be enrolling, try to go in with an open mind. You might surprise yourself and love it at Wellesley. If you give Wellesley a try and don’t enjoy yourself, as Capybara said, transferring is always an option.
I was pretty nervous before I started my first year, and don’t think I really felt comfortable until second semester. College is a huge transition and everyone goes through it differently. I remember feeling a lot of imposter syndrome in my classes in the beginning, and I definitely doubted I’d made the right decision. I thought everyone was smarter than me, had accomplished more than me, and had found their place at Wellesley far before me. I also wasn’t sure how to fit in socially with the whole all-women thing, and I was majorly homesick (I’m from the West Coast). But with some time and patience, I slowly found my place and my people, and I’m so, so happy here. Classes are rigorous but balance is definitely possible.
Please know it’s fine to be nervous, but don’t stress too much. Try to keep an open mind. Sending you hugs and good luck
I’m guessing you’re probably just experiencing what lots of students who are headed to college also experience. Don’t forget that many of the other students who will be starting at Wellesley feel the same way. Wellesley wouldn’t have admitted you if they didn’t think you could handle it.
My daughter loved her time at Wellesley, and she had mental health issues going in. The school is very supportive and really cuts you some slack when you need it. The main thing is not to underestimate your workload. You don’t have to double major just because “everyone else” is. Don’t join a thousand activities until you know what your workload will be. Do have fun. In the winter, visit the tropical rooms at the greenhouse often, especially if you’re from a warmer climate. During finals, don’t study in the library. It will increase your stress level. Go where you can’t see other students stressing out. If you’re a night owl, take an astronomy class. The labs are all at night. Make friends with your professors. They’re people.
Lot of good advice here but I have different advice. Get a grip. Stop thinking about this. Stop catastrophizing. NOTHING TO DO NOW. It’s summertime. Enjoy the weather. Think about today. Look at the beauty all around you. Savor every last moment of your childhood. Laugh! What will be will be. When you get there you will do your best and figure it out how to make your life work. You will make mistakes. So what. You will recover and make some more, etc. Those who are afraid to fail can never be successful. Don’t be afraid. Don’t catastrophize. You are capable. Relax.
I’d put all thought of transferring out of your mind until winter break. Give it your best academic and social shot. Don’t make it a self fulfilling prophecy by going in with a bad attitude.
Don’t start making plans for transferring based on how you feel about the potential experience you may have.
@intparent said it best. Don’t think about transferring, for now. If you go in with a negative outlook, you’re bound to dislike the school, and as @intparent said, you’ll just end up leaving.
Applying as a transfer is much more draining and tedious than applying as a freshman. A lot of students who think about transferring need to decide whether their personal reasons are enough to go through the application process.
Don’t think about these things now. Have fun, make friends! You may just fall in love with Wellesley!
It sounds like you are a rising freshman. Keep your room door open, be friendly, talk to others, smile, don’t hide on your technology and you will make friends. You and your friends will find things to do and you’ll have a great time. Be open to all kinds of parties or whatever social activities come your way. Don’t waste your time worrying about what kind of parties you’ll go to. Just embrace this new chapter in your life. No worries.
Throw yourself into it when you get there. You won’t like it if you don’t give it a chance. You can assess how you’re feeling about it in the winter as @intparent suggests. Anywhere you transfer to will want to see good grades and will want to know that you aren’t going to go there disengaged, so everything you do to make Wellesley work will also position you for a transfer if it doesn’t.
Congratulations for getting into Wellesley. It is a fine school. I say go check it out and see how you do. It might surprise you. If it is boys you want, do not worry. Boys go where the girls are and Wellesley will attract alot because that is where the girls are.
One of my kids attended the “mom’s choice” school on her list. It was a school I suggested she visit, and asked to apply and go to accepted student days there if she got in. She was just kind of neutral toward it, but did as I asked. I took a somewhat different tactic than your parent, though, and told her that if she didn’t like it after that she didn’t have to attend. But after all her accepted student visits to her top schools (she got in everyplace she applied), she picked it. Four years later, she has loved it so much she barely left campus (literally – after graduation she got an offer to work in a lab for this summer before grad school, and she took it). So all I am saying is that sometimes parents CAN have an instinct for what might be good about a college for you, and you should give it a fair shot this fall.
Oh, and there is nothing more annoying to others at a college than the kid who is an eye-rolling Debbie-downer about every perceived flaw of the college from the second they get there. Then people WON’T want to be friends with you, and it WILL suck. I see some of the pros and cons of Wellesley – but it does have a LOT of pros, and I suspect that a student who is determined to get the most out of it would have a very good experience there. Don’t be so spoiled and negative that you miss an opportunity that millions of women in the world would give anything to have.
Finally, transferring is not always a great experience. As mentioned above, the financial aid often isn’t as good. Also, it can be difficult to make friends, as social groups are often formed freshman year.
In general I think it is a terrible idea to start one college with the intent of transferring out. This will stand in the way of your making meaningful friendships, developing relationships with professors, and getting involved on campus. Then if your transfer doesn’t work out as planned you will be really stuck. I’d go to the college you enrolled in with the intent of staying all four years. You have a wonderful opportunity at a top notch school – go in expecting to make the most of it.
And I do agree with @intparent that transferring can be difficult. Many friendships are formed freshman year which can make it difficult socially and merit aid is very hard to come by as a transfer which can make it difficult financially. As the saying goes, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.
If I read you properly, you have summer jitters (you worry the school you’ll start at in the fall will be too stressful) doubled up by the fact your mom forced your hand so you can’t really “own the decision” and so you want to blame her for the jitters.
Wellesley has thousands and thousands of qualified applicants. It only admitted you because they know you can do the work.
As for pressure… Here’s the secret: don’t look at what others are doing. Give yourself three reachable goals (for instance, make a 3.0+ ; make friends in three different circles like class/club/dorm/sport; do one activity you’d never done before). Success is defined by what you do, not what others say they do. Stress often comes from comparing yourself to lots of other people.
However if stress really is a big issue for you, go to the counselling center during orientation and make regular appointments.
Finally, hurry and buy the Naked Roommate, and read a couple section per day.
How much hand holding did it take to get through high school? College is a step up, obviously, but you must have worked hard in advanced level classes to get into Wellesley.
I worked hard but honestly, yes, there was quite a lot of hand holding. I often got good grades in classes and received frequent extensions just because I was close to the teachers. I know that I can’t just give up and be like oh I can’t do this just because I was often let off the hook often in high school. But I feel like I’m going in over my head and will be quite (and possibly too) overwhelmed.
