Score My SAT Essay???

<p>Prompt: Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below:</p>

<p>The old saying, "be careful what you wish for," may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow one's perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of life's difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once "success" is achieved than they were before.</p>

<p>Assignment: Can success be disastrous?</p>

<p>MY ESSAY:</p>

<p>Many Americans are generally accustomed to terms such as "Pyrrhic victory" or phrases like "every action comes at a price." These seemingly trivial expressions reflect an important rule in life - success can be disastrous. Examples of such costly escapades are seen throughout the course of history, literature, and scientific fields of study.</p>

<p>First, international history has been plagued with costly successes. These actions are commonly reflected in wars. For example, the Allied Powers in the Second World War achieved success in eliminating the threat of a unified fascist coalition between Germany, Italy, and the Empire of Japan. However, these victories came at a hefty price - a prince of millions of lives, mostly coming from civilians. Wars and conflicts throughout the course of history illustrate the concept of a costly victory - a success that can be disastrous.</p>

<p>Secondly, the idea that success can yield devastating results is reflected in the literature that we read. For example, in Harper Lee's classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird, the main protagonist, a lawyer named Atticus, successfully defends an African-American man from being convicted of a crime he did not commit. Despite his success in the case, this African-American man is alter massacred violently by a group of townspeople, infuriated by the innocent of the man. Even though Atticus succeeds in his court case, disaster strikes and the man he defended is killed. Literature reflects the principle that success can be disastrous.</p>

<p>Science also is responsible for demonstrating that success can result in unfortunate effects. Many scientific discoveries result in the deaths of test subjects. As an example, when Sir Henry Jennings invented a successful vaccine for smallpox, many test subjects, who Jennings used in the experiments leading up to his discovery, later died of illness. Scientific discoveries can illustrate how success can be disastrous.</p>

<p>In conclusion, the fields of history, literature, and science teach us that with success, disaster may still strike. Perhaps people should consider their plans and yield the warning that they should "be careful what they wish for," as the old saying goes.</p>

<p>MY THOUGHTS:</p>

<p>I don't think my essay was good enough to warrant a perfect 12, but i was wondering if it at least recieved a 10 (5 from each grader)</p>

<p>Definitely a 10-11, maybe a 12 if you’re lucky.</p>

<p>I would have used 2 examples and then 1 personal example instead, but yours was good. Some minor grammar/spelling errors, but nothing that would affect the score. Well written.</p>