<p>D13 decided to apply RD to a reasonable number of well-matched schools she carefully selected over the summer. All the apps are done. Now that some friends are getting ED results, kids at school are talking and comparing more, whereas before everyone was keeping things pretty close to the vest (it is a very competitive hs.) Suddenly D is second guessing everything -- size, location, rural vs city, etc. "Why didn't I look at X region of the country!?" "Why didn't I want to apply to this school - it seems perfect for me!" "I'm not sure I'll be happy at School X" She is still thrilled with two of her choices, one of which is a lottery. She currently feels somewhat indifferent to much of the rest of her list.</p>
<p>All set with our reaction -- we said trust yourself, let it play out. If, on her own, she wants to apply to one more school we would support her, but to try to remember how much she liked her list when she was applying. Look at the viewbooks, websites to get excited again. That with the number of amazing choices, there are bound to be stones left unturned and that's okay. We also discussed a safety net -- if everything falls apart with decisions, she has come up with a Plan B she likes and that we can agree to (I seriously doubt it will come to this.)</p>
<p>So, I think I said at least a lot of the right things, but I admit to wishing she wasn't feeling this way so far along the path. I would like some reassurance that this is normal!! I'm assuming it is...that some successful ED kids are envious of the choices RD kids get to make in the spring, and that RD kids get a little panicky when ED kids start getting locked-down results.</p>
<p>I’ll repeat what I’ve said on other threads. Timing is pretty individual. My oldest didn’t get a single app in until January of senior year. Middle had them all finished by early November. (Neither made a decision until late March/early April.) My current hs senior got a bunch of apps out the door (I like EA–if you have to do it, why not get it over with early?), but most of his classmates seemed to be doing it too so it wasn’t difficult to convince him. That said, he’s not visited a single school. We’ve recently heard about some ED kids who are now locked in, but where’s the fun in that? ;)</p>
<p>I think it’s human nature to second guess this stuff. (I keep hearing about new schools and thinking, “hmmm. . .” and DS already applied to 15 schools. Yikes!) And I do think it’s kind of fun not knowing yet. Once the decision is made, it’s really over. A relief for many, but an eensy bit sad for me (where did all that excitement go?). </p>
<p>I think continue saying what you have been. Let her unload on you–it’s good for her to get her concerns out in the open. But chances are she really will be fine with her current list, and will have a great decision for her when it’s all said and done.</p>
<p>This is a natural reaction at this time of the year. With ED and EA acceptances coming in, it can be hard for RD applicants to feel in control. By avoiding EA you have also avoided having an early acceptance cloud her judgement for better or worse. </p>
<p>Still a lot of growth happens during senior year and if she decides suddenly that she really doesn’t want a small, rural LAC then there is still time to apply to large research U before January deadlines. Your idea of checking out the guidebooks and falling in love with the schools is a good plan. </p>
<p>Maybe you can redirect her focus to applying for scholarships. It can’t hurt and it will give her something to do while she waits.</p>
<p>Sounds like you’re saying the right things. You haven’t told us her list, but if it’s all LACs, including safeties and matches, and she wants to apply to more LACs, then I’m not sure what that accomplishes. But if it’s all LACs and all of a sudden she is flirting with the idea of a large university, I’d encourage her to apply. She’ll want lots of options come spring, and having one that against type is a good thing, IMO. Same thing if all her schools are rurall and now she’s wondering why she didn’t have any urban schools.</p>
<p>That’s a great point about piling on more LAC’s not really serving any purpose. She has mostly LAC’s in a mostly subtle variety of settings and locations plus our flagship as a safety. This is our first time around, but our opinion is that her list is smart and balanced. There are just so many good choices. If you don’t have a unique set of needs/wants or a laser focus on one dream school, there are dozens and dozens of schools that could work reasonably well, and they have to get narrowed down somehow. I think MizzBee is right - it probably feels like a lack of control for her right now, so she has resorted to the second guessing. I’ll ask her to direct her energy to researching scholarships.</p>