Second thoughts, now that I'm at college...

Parents Forum
1

<p>I am a freshman at the University of Missouri - Columbia. For those of you not familiar with the school, its a Big 12 state university with 30,000 students. Its most well known for the Journalism School, which is considered to one of the best in the nation. </p>

<p>I definitely had my heart set on going to Mizzou. I was 100% sure I wanted to be a journalist, and Mizzou was a prestigious J-School I could afford. I didn't really have any second thoughts, and even my first couple months here I was very happy. I made a lot of friends and liked Mizzou.</p>

<p>However, in the past month, I have really started to feel unhappy here. Dorm life is getting stressful and dramatic. I am having serious problems with the friends I have made in my dorm, and it is hard to make new friends here. Columbia, MO is a small town with not a lot to do. I am from Nashville and even though it isn't the big city, I miss the options provided there. </p>

<p>Part of it may be that I am just homesick, but I am also wondering if I really want to be a journalist. The J-School is very competitive, and you have to jump through a ridiculous amount of hoops to get anywhere in the system. My emphasis is magazine journalism, and the job market in magazines right now sucks and entry level pays in the 20Ks, and you pretty much have to live in NYC to work for magazines with any career potential. I don't want to live in NYC on 25K a year! I would like to be able to settle down eventually...and I would love to live in the South again.</p>

<p>I do like the resources and school spirit that you find at a large university, but I am starting to realize that I could have gotten the same exact experience at a state school back home for much less money, and I could be closer to home. If I decide that journalism is not for me, what is even the point of me being at Mizzou? I feel like I am wasting time here. </p>

<p>I brought this up with my mom and she said that she thought I am feeling like this because of my social problems. I feel like its more than that though. Do I really want to go through all the stress of Mizzou's J-School just to make a crappy salary, if I'm lucky enough to get some assistant job at a magazine in a city I don't want to live in? I feel stupid for having not considered this before deciding where to go to college, and I feel like I will disappoint my friends and family if I give up on journalism because I was so completely gung-ho before. Yet I'm just unhappy...</p>

<p>I'm sorry this is so long but I know all of you are great and have great insight. I really appreciate any advice you have to offer.</p>

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<p>If you really love journalism, you will be able to find work in the South if you are creative and look for it. Just because most people go to NYC for work doesn't mean you must. There are many roads to Rome.</p>

<p>I suspect that if the journalism school is competitive, so is the profession. Perhaps you are not interested in working in a dog-eat-dog environment?</p>

<p>Also, look for an internship for the summer. Maybe getting away from school and just doing the work will remind you of why you were so enthusiastic about journalism in the first place.</p>

<p>You could look into transferring in the fall. Then you would have that option if you still feel the way you do at the end of this school year.</p>

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<p>Find a new social set by joining in some new activities.</p>

<p>Stick with journalism; by teaching you to gather, synthesize and present facts, it's great preparation for law, public relations, lobbying, investigations, marketing, sales and about a hundred other fields. Don't think narrowly about newspapers/magazines.</p>

<p>Isn't journalism at Mizzou what Brad Pitt did, btw?</p>

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<p>It sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders. It's one thing to enjoy writing for a school newspaper or literary journal in high school... it's another to face the realities of the business, and to realize that as a freshman in college shows real maturity. I had a successful career in journalism and left it twenty years ago. It's unbelievably stressful and you need to have not just great writing skills, but that "fire in the gut" drive to be a real journalist. And it's much worse today than it was when I was in it. I'm not saying to give up -- roscoe is write that the skills you develop as a journalist can transfer successfully to many other fields, but I think you're smart to take a hard look at your choices. I'd recommend trying a few classes in allied fields and see how that feels. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Please look into getting a new dorm assignment for the second semester. Be insistent and persistent.</p>

<p>I reread your post several times, and while I think you are smart to ponder whether journalism is the right field for you, I also think your unhappy living situation is coloring your view of everything else. Columbia is not that small; as a small city of 100,000 it is not a thriving metropolis, but it does offer a lot of inexpensive activities for college students, including extensive hiking and biking trails, live music and theater that don't cost much, and a youth-oriented downtown within walking distance of the university. Post # 3, by Roscoe, really said it all: find a new social set and get involved in some new activities. You may still decide to transfer schools or fields, but make that decision from an upbeat perspective.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
I feel like I will disappoint my friends and family if I give up on journalism

[/quote]

This shouldn't even be a consideration in your decisions. Your education and career choice are about you - not about them and I'm sure they'd agree with this. Most likely they'd support any reasonable decision you decide to make anyway.</p>

<p>I agree with the other posters to 'mix it up' a bit by meeting new people, getting involved in new activities, taking an 'outside the box' interesting class, etc. Take up something new outside the campus if you can as well - a part time job off campus, joining a community sports team, etc. I took up scuba diving in college and the occasional weekend diving trip was a great mental break.</p>

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<p>Your story reminds me a lot of my own D's situation. She went to an out-of-state public for a competitive program (theater). She was doing really well in their program (competitive to get in and very competitive with auditions once you are in) but began to question the outcome of the degree in her freshman year. She also didn't want to go to New York and try to "make it" in the theater world. She had wanted to be a doctor before theater success in high school and she returned to that goal and tried to double major in biology and theater. It quickly become apparent that was impossible (play rehearsals plus demanding science classes), so she dropped the theater major and went with biology. </p>

<p>By then it was kind of late to transfer back to our state, so she has stayed there, 1,000 miles from home, but she has never really liked the college or the town, and that is sad for me because I loved both my undergraduate and graduate universities and still feel a strong connection to them. </p>

<p>If there is a good state college you could transfer to in your home state, then I would advise you to look into transferring next year. There is no reason to stay there in MO if you don't want to continue with the journalism major. I doesn't sound like your heart is in that major--that also became apparent with my D. </p>

<p>She has found it increasingly hard to keep taking off for college in another state when she would rather be closer to home. You could go ahead and make the arrangements to transfer and then see how you feel about it in the spring before making a final decision.</p>

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<p>This is a problem that has been stated in many forums on cc. The most frequent answers have the same thing in common: find activities to get involved with. Not only do you meet new people but you actually find ways to keep active and involved and thus not spend so much time dwelling on the question "is this really where I belong/what I want to do?" Seems so many kids who post on cc (plus ones I talk to from here who don't) still cling to the life they lived in highschool and the security it included. The college they've always dreamed of going to or the one that fit them perfectly is now too small, too big, too far away, too filled with unfriendly kids, not diverse enough, etc. I currently have a freshman D and junior S in college. Both are 1600+ miles away from home. D raised the same questions of doubts and fears but knew the local state university wasn't the answer. Get involved was the most frequent advise she heard, and though she is still not "in love" with her school, she's made many new friends and has kept busy with classwork, intramural sports, poetry slams, concerts, and other activities offered by the school and surrounding city. S has become totally engaged with his school and friends. As I'm continually reminded, give them time. 2-3 months is a very short time to have discovered so much of what a college has to offer. Join clubs, go to plays, etc. Give the college a real chance. Then, if things still don't work out, look elsewhere. Just avoid jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Good luck.</p>

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<p>It's important that one's expectations are leveled since many of the problems will be experienced regardless of the college.</p>

<p>One doesn't need to love their school although it's of course, nice if they do. The school is largely a means to an end.</p>

<p>A top program will likely be competetive and difficult and even for one with a high level of interest in it, tedious at times.</p>

<p>Dorm life, food, and routines get old. The lack of personal space will get old. Having lousy roommates makes the situation much worse. </p>

<p>A significant percentage of students will change their major at least once as they discover more about the subject.</p>

<p>It's sound to take a realistic view of employment opportunities in a given profession. This is best done before selecting the major but reality doesn't hit home with many until they're past the excitement of enrollment.</p>

<p>It's normal to be homesick. Realize that it's possible that some of what you're homesick for is in the past - friends are now attending college/working and your relationship with them is now likely to be quite different, the nostalgia of HS is just that - nostalgia. Of course, it's nice to be closer visit the family more frequently, have a home-cooked meal (or go to a familiar restaurant), sleep in your own bed, etc.. Idleness leads to more homesickness so being busy with different types oc activities (not just schoolwork) helps considerably.</p>

<p>It's generally possible to transfer later so there's always that possibility to hang on to as an out even if you don't exercise it.</p>

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<p>Would be interested in hearing what "hoops" you have to go through...since my daughter is interested in print journalism as a career.</p>

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<p>If the Maneater student newspaper still exists, get on their staff. If you love journalism, that will be a great way to make friends, have a good time and sharpen your journalism skills. It also will be a good way to learn if you really want to be a journalist.</p>

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<p>My older D always said first semester freshman year dorm living is like "summer camp" for the first two months or so.Then,reality sets in.Drama starts,privacy issues raise their head.You start to see faults in the kids you thought would be your new best friends forever .I'm not sure switching dorms is the answer.
I dont think journalism is the only industry where your starting salary will be in the "20's". You have to be realistic..everybody starts somewhere.If you love journalism you'll want to stick it out,but perhaps in a less competitive program.Have you looked into transferring to another journalism program ?</p>

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<p>You should check out the thread "Career in Print Journalism"
<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=259594%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=259594&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>As a former RA and journalism major, I know that the weeks just before Thanksgiving are the toughest for most freshman. Most kids really need a break, thus the drama. Focus on getting through the Thanksgiving holiday and finals. If the dorm is too dramatic, grab your books and hit the library or coffee shop. Avoid kids who upset you. Try not to get sucked into situations that are vexations of your spirit. Tell everyone you're just really busy with classes and work. While you're away from your dorm try to meet a few new people. Even one new friend may help a lot, especially if that person does not live in your dorm and is not a journalism major.</p>

<p>Try not to make any rash decisions now (though just exploring a room or dorm transfer may make you feel a little better). When you return to school in January or February, see how you feel. Your perspective may be different. If you're still unhappy, start making little changes...one by one...dorm, courses, major, etc. If you're not happy by the end of your freshman year or the beginning of your sophomore year, you'll know you need to make a bigger change.</p>

<p>Finally, I suggest listening to your mom. She knows you best and probably loves you most. I wish I had listened a little more to my mom when I was your age (Gosh I sound old!...sorry). Give yourself a big pat on the back for having the courage to travel far from home and venture out on your own. Many, many kids your age aren't brave enough to try. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Listen to your mom, yes, but listen to dreamer88 too. She's giving you great advice!</p>

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<p>Wow! I really appreciate all of your advice. All of you had very helpful things to say.</p>

<p>I think my biggest problem in this situation is that I can't really figure out where one of my issues ends and another begins. My thoughts about social life, being far away from home, the quality of my school, and my future career are all overlapping and blending into each other, making it hard to figure out what's going on in my life and in my head!</p>

<p>What I do know for sure is that Missouri is the place to be if I want a career in journalism. I also know that if I decide I don't want a career in journalism, Missouri is not the place to be. I could go to a more affordable school and get just as good of an English degree or another degree.</p>

<p>But I think that my social problems and homesickness has contributed to me disliking Mizzou when really in the long run it is an excellent journalism program I should stick with, regardless of my crappy friends... if I do want to be a journalist! Besides, when I take a step back, I think it has been good for to go far away from home.</p>

<p>What I really need to figure out is if I want to be a journalist! The suggestion of performing an internship this summer was a very good one and I think it would really help me decide if that's what I want to do with my life. I am really interested in it, but there are some bumps that I was hoping I could gain some advice on. (If I don't get many responses here, I might create a seperate thread about this issue.)</p>

<p>There are three publications in my hometown I would interested in interning with. Two are magazines and one is the arts & entertainment weekly paper associated with the city newspaper. However, I have done some research online and none of them have internship programs. What is the most professional and efficient way to find out if they would hire me as an intern? I know you are supposed to write a cover letter and send it attached to your resume, but would that be appropriate considering I know nothing about their job opportunities available and whether they even have a need for an intern? I thought about emailing but I'm not sure who to email, and how to word the email. </p>

<p>Another thing is that at Mizzou you can't recieve credit hours for an internship until you are in your sequence, which doesn't happen until junior year. So while I know I would be gaining valuable work experience, I would like to have a paid internship, because if I weren't interning I would either be working or taking summer courses. Is that unrealistic for me to hope for? And how do you tactfully ask if they are willing to pay an intern?</p>

<p>Another thing I thought about is seeking a receptionist or assistant job and simply taking the opportunity to network and observe. I'm not sure, however, how readily available those opportunities would be, or if they would hire a college student as those things. What do you think? If you think that's a good idea, is it appropriate to inquire about all of those possible positions, or should I decide about what I am going to seek with them?</p>

<p>You all are the greatest. Thank you again.</p>

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<p>My son walked into a newspaper this summer and asked about an internship. They hired him for one article--then added five more after he wrote the first one.</p>

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<p>Those are good steps to take. Internships for rising sophomores are little hard to get by unless you have connections or just in your local area. I would definitely pursue your local paper to see if you can do an internship. More often than not, they might not be paid... though I'd think it'd be different if they allowed you to publish an article or two.</p>

<p>So decide what's really important- to get paid and if its not, then you'll lose valuable experience that will tell you if you're passionate about journalism.... or suck it up and check it out and do a part-time job on the side. Most people do the latter because they want to do an internship that interested them that badly. I was willing to live in DC for 2 months with very little means since my internship wasn't paid and my parents only paid for my room. Nevertheless, I knew what I wanted to do and it was worth it.</p>

<p>See if the Career Services at your school can help you with anything- finding internships, preparing your resume/cover letter, setting up a shadowing experience (or you can definitely do this during a break).</p>

<p>Also, one more thing and I'm surprised that no one said anything... or maybe I missed it- are you working on the school paper???</p>

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<p>ticklemepink: I know this sounds horrifying, but I am not working on the campus paper. I wrote one story for it and I was totally turned off by how they run everything there. The editors were obnoxious and goofed off during the copy editing time, making me wait over three hours to get my small straightforward story edited. Then, after they edited it and showed me what they were going to run, they changed it again majorly before it went to print - including completely rewording direct quotes, which I thought was unprofessional. I could deal with some less than likable people, but pretty much everyone on campus considers the paper to be a joke. My high school paper was more professional. People seem to get involved in clubs their first couple years and wait until junior year and they are in their sequence to write. Part of the "Missouri Method" is that your last two years of school is essensially an internship, in which you must either write for the Missourian or work for KOMU.</p>

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<p>I, too, was a journalism major at a well-known state J-school who came to realize I didn't like reporting! Even though my profs loved my writing, and interviewees said I made them feel relaxed and inclined to open up, I was (am) just too darned introverted. So what did I do? I loved editing -- I was always a crack proofreader, and so I found a work-study job at my school's publishing house.</p>

<p>I then went out and started working in the employee benefits field -- and I managed to incorporate my writing/editing abilities into every professional job I've had. You'd be amazed at how many professionally competent people have difficulty communicating...and the folks who get promoted are the ones who can.</p>

<p>If you are thinking of internship opportunities -- contact the community newspapers. They are always looking for folks, and you may get more "real" reporting/writing there than if you were on a larger paper spending your time converting press releases into news/public interest briefs. If you are a competent photographer or have proficient web design/programming skills, those will help get you in the door as well!</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>