selective high school.. opinions wanted

<p>corranged/mathmom: great points! they have an option to go in grade 10 or grade 11.. probably with the wrong point of view but we had considered that if he goes he should go in grade 10 so if he doesnt like it, he would still have grade 11 and 12 back here which in our opinion would be better than going in grade 11 then back for senior year. If his marks were to drop he would have 2 years to bring them back up.<br>
As corranged says also, he doesnt study at all now, and he wont have that skill for college unless he learns it somewhere.
The school does have ec activities like sports, band, chorus, drama and about 30 clubs to choose from. and is involved in national science and math competitions
good to hear someone went to boarding school and survived and actually liked it.</p>

<p>no option to move gotopractice. that would solve everything though!l</p>

<p>just something I haven't seen pointed out. you said "If he does choose an ivy league type school there is no way we could afford it without scholarships. My oldest went to college in NY and we didnt qualify for any aid so we are paying loans off for that now."</p>

<p>Ivy League schools do not offer scholarships -- aid is based on need only.</p>

<p>well, then i guess we just look at in/out of state great schools? but the son of a friend of ours went to Princeton on a full academic scholarship (combined with an athletic) but he wouldnt have got financial aid need based?</p>

<p>The family may have been less than truthful about their finances.</p>

<p>you can use CC to determine what sort of aid you might qualify for at an Ivy league school. <a href="http://www.collegeconfidential.com/financial_aid/index.htm%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.collegeconfidential.com/financial_aid/index.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Check out the CC Financial Aid forums too.</p>

<p>My understanding is they don't offer need based aid. But, I have seen lot's of univ that match "100% of demonstrated need" whatever that means! D #1 got through on about $20k from us over 4 years, she worked on campus (job through fin aid office), she has about $30k in student loans and somehow she got the rest each term by a "grant" that jsut showed up in her account each term. It was $$$ from the school and I always thought it was based on how well she did in her classes. I never figured out where the funny money came from (for fear they would suddenly say it was an error and ask for the money back!) I am sure she knows where it came from - maybe she applied for grants or aid somehow. . . . Bottom line, where there is a will there is a way. Once the student is at the school, & doing well, the school wants to keep them (at least that is my understanding). My D #1 talked to financial aid every term at school - She met with her fin aid person & talked to them to work it out every single term - we had to fill out FAFSA but in the end it always seemed to work out one way or another. She doesn't like having college loans, but the education far outweighs the loans and she'll get them paid off. I am sure someone here probably knows way better than me ways to put it all together.</p>

<p>The eight Ivy League colleges (Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, Penn, Dartmouth, Brown, and Cornell) have an explicit policy of offering financial aid only on the basis of need, not on the basis of academic "merit" or athletic prowess. MIT and Stanford and a few other colleges have very similar policies (except that Stanford, as a Pac 10 college, definitely offers NCAA-regulated athletic scholarships). But the Princeton, Harvard, and comparable college view of "financial need" can look AMAZING to someone like me who worked his way through an undergraduate degree at a state university. Try the Princeton financial aid estimator </p>

<p><a href="http://www.princeton.edu/main/admission-aid/aid/prospective/estimator/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.princeton.edu/main/admission-aid/aid/prospective/estimator/&lt;/a> </p>

<p>with your current numbers to get an idea of what it might cost. It might cost a lot less than you think. Harvard's financial aid offers are said to be every bit as generous.</p>

<p>Are there other students from the boarding school that live near you? How frequently do they have holidays? Any trains/buses that could make visiting easier?</p>

<p>I think it would be hard to be the smartest in local HS. Even if he self-studies, he could find the curriculum boring. Is there a local U or CC? An opportunity to attend a selective boarding school is quite a coup. Could he visit for a week?</p>

<p>token : thanks for the link, just put in a few figures and our responsibility would be 32K per year but amazingly they say we would qualifiy for 15K financial aid. still out of our leaque though.
bookworm: no one near by that we are aware of but of course dont know who would be accepted for next year. I checked bus and even flights and average travel time is 12 hours each way. They do have a summer program we are considering</p>

<p>parent56 -
well, at least you have a nice quandry. When college rolls around, your son can be well-positioned for merit aid at some very fine schools coming from your local HS or from the boarding school. It sounds, however, like your son might like the challenge of studying away. If he could test the waters with a summer program, so much the better.</p>

<p>parent 56: Regarding expected fin aid, we found the Princeton calculator to be very accurate for them (s1 is there now and our results using their web calculator came surprisingly close to thier aid award. Some other Ivies and LACs all offered us nothing in the way of fin aid (all schools without merit aid awards). Just below that tier though, he received very generous merit scholarships (but no add'l fin aid). From our experience, I would guess that the 15k from the Princeton calculator would be on the generous side for many other schools. But there are numerous schools that offer great merit scholarships in addition to NMS ones, so don't overlook private schools once you begin the search process.</p>

<p>With the boarding school decision, it doesn't seem likes there's necessarily a bad decision either way. Posters that know of the school are quite enthusiastic. Having posted a contrary view earlier, I wonder if he went and hated it, worst case scenario, what would happen? Would he just assimilate back into his current school? If so, it maight be worth the try (I suspect it will be tougher on you than him - 12 hours, ouch!).</p>

<p>I have first hand experience with state math and science academies because I currently attend my own state's math and science academy. Here are my views on what my own experience has been like:</p>

<p>The Pros: Living away from home is a blast. You get to meet all sorts of new people, and are constantly surrounded by people your own age, literally 24-7 (unless you go home on the weekends). Dorm experience poses all sorts of new and exciting challenges, and the nice thing is that even if you find dorm life unsatistfactory, you've had 3 years of experience with it before college and you probably won't have that much trouble adapting to your new environment. The maturity you gain sets you apart by leaps and bounds from kids who staid home in high school, when they move away to college. I'm not saying kids who stay home are immature by any means, I'm just saying living away from home in high school makes students better equipped to handle the change in living environment that occurs when a student leaves for college. </p>

<p>If Alabama's school is anything like mine, your child will learn A LOT. Teaching tends to be very good at my school, and students (especially sophomores, believe it or not) tend to be a little more curious and willing to learn than kids back home. Classes challenge, and most kids receieve incredible preparation for higher level work. Also, my school offers opportunities for research, either independent work on campus or assistantships in labs at our two local top-15 universities, which very often provide a very unique and very helpful perspective on science research. There are other great ways to learn outside the classroom through very strong math and science extracirriculars as well as a lot of community-outreach type things. And you learn a lot from your peers, many of them have fascinating views of the world that come from their areas of interest or their culture (or both). For example, I know that I would have never seen a Chinese New Year celebration had I not chosen to attend my math and science academy, and I am very glad I had the chance too (I'm also glad of all the other cultural celebrations and events I've seen at the school too). </p>

<p>The Cons: Going to the math and science school will most likely hurt your child when it comes time to apply to college. If your school is like mine, chances are your child's GPA will be .4-.6 GPA points lower than it would be at home. The big complaint at my school is harsh grading. It's full of very bright, very motivated kids, but getting an "A" is very often a hurculean feat. And looking at how my older classmates have done in college applications, many have incredibly tough times getting into highly selective schools. The only people who seem to be getting into the Ivies or near-Ivies are the kids who don't suffer any drop in grades (which tend to be the true geniuses in the class). If the Alabama Math and Science Academy is like mine, it will be very easy for your child to get into your local big state U, but very, VERY hard to get into one of the Ivies. Everyone thinks they're going to go to MIT when they enter as sophomores, but most settle for small, relatively unknown liberal arts colleges and big state U as seniors, often still bitter that their grades shut them out of the top schools. You'd think the best and brightest kids of a state would be getting into the Stanford and Columbia with regularity, but largely due to grade deflation, that is not the case. </p>

<p>If your child really wants to go to one of the top schools, they are much better off staying at home and continuing to ace everything and stay at the top of their class. But if your child is willing to settle for a less selective school but really be challenged in their high school years and have rare opportunities offere to them, then the math and science academy is the way to go.</p>

<p>I hope this was helpful... I don't know the Alabama school well at all, but all I tried to do here was relate my experience at a state-run boarding school. It may be similar to your school, it may not be.</p>

<p>illinois_kid: thank you very much for your post! i'm going to have my son read this as i think it gives great insight. It also gives me some great points to discuss with the school. After reading all the posts today, i have composed a few questions for the admissions office,beyond what we asked during our visit.</p>

<p>Tough decision, but summer program or a weeks visit are good options.</p>

<p>I don't know your child, but if he stays at local HS and gets bored, so what if his GPA is tops? He still will face major adjustment when he enters a select college. If he is gifted, he will be in a more challenging and stimulating environment at boarding school, and will hold his own there and in a select college.</p>

<p>Illinois Kid: UIllinois is terrific in math and science, very highly ranked. So that isn't so much of a step down.</p>

<p>Although IMSA (and I grew up in Naperville, so I'm familiar with the school) has some grade deflation (or, rather, actually holds the line on grades), it's my understanding that top colleges are familiar with that and figure it in when reading stats. As you pointed out, some students go to the Ivies each year, so obviously it's a great school. I think it's unrealistic to assume that any school would send much of their student body to HYPSM, as they are trying to take students across the country.</p>

<p>parent56: I can't imagine sending my son to boarding school. That having been said, if it was a great, free opportunity that he wanted, I would let him go. And to be honest, I think you should both make the decision based on the experiences he wants to have now instead of how it may/may not affect his college options. Realistically, he doesn't even really know where he wants to go to college - he may do college research and decide on a different place that better suits his needs than the Ivies. There are TONS of great colleges for math and science that aren't in the Ivy League, or even in the Northeast (I know, I know...BLASHPHEMY!!!). Olin, Rose-Hulman, Harvey Mudd, Caltech, and Cooper Union come to mind, as well as many state schools whose departments are magnificent.</p>

<p>While he will be "competing" with better students at AMSA, he will also get opportunities he won't get at his public school. Those things cancel each other out. Both schools are in Alabama, an underrepresented area. Plus, at the better school, he is far more likely to receive better college counseling that will help him find that "fit" school instead of focusing on regional, familiar schools.</p>

<p>Now for the "if-it-were-my-son" advice: If he decides he wants to go, take a shot. The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work out and he comes back to public school, where he would be anyway. If he's truly unsure and uncomfortable with boarding, take the year at the public school and keep the academy on the table for soph year. But this ultimately needs to be his decision, I think, and as difficult as it is (and as a parent, I really do empathize), be objective and help him decide what is best for him.</p>

<p>Another random piece of advice - post on the prep school forum (or have your son do it) and ask them about boarding.</p>

<p>Parent, This is a difficult decision. I’d recommend that you put off worrying about college – how to get in, how to pay, etc – and concentrate on best serving the needs of your son and your family in the next few years.</p>

<p>I live overseas and many families I know choose to send their children to boarding schools. (In fact, in the case of my British friends, NOT sending your child to boarding school in England is tantamount to child abuse. :) ) For us, however, the best choice was to keep our son with the family and to compensate for the weaknesses of the school system by supplementing his education at home and over the summers. I have nothing against boarding per se, and have seen some remarkable kids come out of the system, but for us, missing out on our son’s teenage years would have been unthinkable.</p>

<p>It sounds to me that you have a boy who is socially well adjusted but could use some more intellectual and academic stimulus. There are other ways to provide this than through the traditional school route. If you or your spouse is so inclined and have the time (which admittedly not all parents do) YOU could provide the missing link in the form of enrichment projects. </p>

<p>You might investigate if your child’s school has any type of gifted program or any faculty that might be interested in starting one or find out if there are gifted-oriented activities at any nearby schools. There are all kinds of gifted outreach programs designed for kids like yours. It will take some doing on your part but might be just what you need to bridge the gap. If any of his teachers seems particularly responsive you might ask if s/he would assign some supplemental projects.</p>

<p>Summers and holidays also offer all kinds opportunities for enhancement – both in math/science and in other intellectually stimulating areas like the arts, languages, social studies. Non-academic activities like theater, music, art, nature, volunteering etc, etc can also be intellectually stimulating. </p>

<p>To me, travel is the greatest mind expander of all.</p>

<p>The fact that you are asking these questions shows that you want to do what is best for your son but are also conflicted about making the best decision for your whole family. Before you make a decision, learn more about what you can do at home to keep this obviously bright kid on his intellectual toes. As others have pointed out, selective colleges value diversity and kids from small, middle of nowhere towns can qualify, especially if they rise above their demographic restrictions and become interested and interesting young adults. </p>

<p>As Mathmom said, colleges do look at context! It’s what students do with their individual situation that counts, not how rich the offerings were. For example your son’s school only offers two years of Spanish. No college is going to penalize him for not studying French or Swahili. But it would reward him for taking the initiative to get out there and achieve fluency by (just for example) doing a homestay in Mexico, taking an online course and volunteering at a Hispanic shelter. This kind of creativity scores more points than taking advanced language courses in a traditional highschool setting. </p>

<p>Advanced math is of course more difficult for amateurs to recreate, but aside from the summer enrichment opportunities or community college options, you might be able to find a local tutor – an engineer or math teacher for example – who would mentor him.</p>

<p>The key point here is that if you want to keep you son at home and at the same time allow him to reach his intellectual potential, you and your spouse must be prepared to act as his advocate. Don’t depend on his teachers or counselors to research opportunities or to think creatively on your son’s behalf.</p>

<p>Good luck and let us know what you decide.</p>

<p>Some comment:
First of all, you said that your son has been invited to apply. I think that if he is at all interested, he should definitely apply -- and application isn't a commitment to attend, and things may seem much clearer one way or another in the spring. This is an opportunity that he may want to turn down in the end, but you don't want to simply let it pass him by. </p>

<p>Beyond that, I agree with those who have said the issue is what is best for your son now, not future college admissions. If your son is happy & fulfilled in high school, then he will end up at a college that is a good fit for him and meets his needs. Whether or not it is Ivy League doesn't matter -- for example, he could go to the math & science boarding school and end up deciding that he wants to major in math or engineering, and with the advanced level of courses he takes, qualify to attend some small and highly selective engineering college you may never have heard of (for example, Olin) -- which would be the perfect fit for him, and somewhere he might not be able to get into from a high school that doesn't offer much math. You just never know. </p>

<p>On the other hand, pushing him to do something he doesn't want or is not ready for out of the belief that it will later open doors for him would be a mistake -- he could end up miserable and depressed at boarding school, with faltering grades and end up not even qualifying fo the in-state flagship. </p>

<p>Also, while it is important for you to know now that Ivy League colleges only offer need-based aid... it is not important for you to decide now whether or not he should apply to them. You can evaluate your finances and chances of qualifying for aid closer to the time he applies (to any colleges) -- for all you know, things might change for you in any case. I think for 9th graders, you shouldn't really be thinking about specific colleges beyond making sure that they are enrolled in basic college prep courses and encouraging them to their best. </p>

<p>So I would say: encourage him to apply, and then continue to gather information. If he is accepted, then it is important for him to make the ultimate decision (assuming that as a a parent you are willing to have him leave home) - he should have support and encouragement from you, but no pressure one way or the other. He should know that with either choice he will have good college options at the end, and that his options will be somewhat dependent on his effort and performance in high school -- they just might be different options depending on what high school he attends. But they won't be bad options.</p>

<p>great advice from all!</p>

<p>know this is an old thread but if i could ressurect it for one update:
thank you again for all who gave input last year.
after much discussion our son decided to go with the understanding that he could return if he didnt like it. Bit of an adjustment first 6 weeks as he had to learn how to study, how to manage his time, deal with his first B on an exam, 1st F on a quiz, realize that the depth and quality of papers was expected to be much better to get those A's he was used to. Missed family and friends. However ... the first year is about to end ...he is back to straight A's, loves the school, teachers and friends he has made. When we asked if he wanted to come back to local hs we got a resounding NO! he has already taken courses beyond the highest level offered locally, and actually admitted he had been bored at the local school but it was easy. He still misses his friends but has made great new ones. He tolerates my DAILY phone calls LOL. It has turned out to be a wonderful experience for him and i think has really given him some skills that he will need later. (better to get those b's, f's 1st semester of grade 10 than in college when he suddenly finds out he cant manage time or study)
thanks again!</p>

<p>Glad to hear it! I started reading this thread, and I was going to post that you should ask your question on the Prep School Admissions board where you would find many parents with boarding school kids. Anyway, I saw the date and wondered why this old thread had been resurrected. </p>

<p>For many children, but certainly not all, the boarding school experience can be life changing for the better.</p>