<p>parent56, I am glad that things worked out for your son. Resurrecting this thread comes at a good time for me, as D2 will enter 8th grade this year and has mentioned the possibility of going to a boarding school that is similar to ASMS. </p>
<p>How did <em>you</em> adapt to having him so far away from home?</p>
<p>it was a little difficult at first. counting days until he would be home on a break. "hurt" feelings when i offered to come down and spend a weekend with him and was told no, he had a bunch of EC activities that weekend that he wanted to do. worried we had done the wrong thing when he told me about the "F" on a quiz (until i found out he had been playing video games til late the night before). Worrying about a phone call when he sounded stressed or down.
However within a few weeks, it was obvious he was adapting well, usually upbeat phone calls, interest in his courses. I was going through seperation anxiety, he was exploring a whole new world!
First semester was the hardest for me, but you cant help but feel happy when your child is happy! Our youngest son had a hard time at first, but i think now he secretly likes getting all the attention at home!
It wouldnt be for every child, or every parent, but it was right for him</p>
<p>Thanks for the update! Glad this story had a happy ending!</p>
<p>Umm, Parent, the answers to your questions are not easy. We left a mediocre public school system where nearly all the kids went to school within an hour of home. The flagship school was the brass ring of admissions. A very small handful of kids would also end up at a smattering of the top schools, but other than some local private schools, you had very, very few kids going to private out of state schools. The GCs were excellent in assessing your chances and helping among those choices since they were so experienced with those schools and programs, but were not interested and not at all knowledgeable about those schools that just did not get many kids' interests in our area. </p>
<p>So we looked at the private schools. Sent them to a top boarding school. Yes, there were many, many advantages. The work was far more challenging, and the writing instruction was particularly superb. THe history offerings were college level, in my opinion. The teachers worked closely with the kids, the kids were mostly very good students, smart kids, all from families who held education high in esteem. The gcs were so focused on colleges that there were separate depts for regular gcs that worked with HS issues, and those that exclusively were college counselors. Also the talk around the school was such that the kids would hear about many, many options other than state U and local schools. In many ways it was an excellent pick.</p>
<p>But there were pitfalls as well. With so many kids who were so well prepared and were so motivated and such great students, the competition for the top grades was keener and the courses and exams were much more difficult. There was little grade inflation and no weighting of grades. It was not so easy to get an A at that school, and the attitude towards grades was that it was beneath them to worry about them. But we do. There were very different kids there at the school, and my kids had to learn to deal with them without us around to see what was happening. It is not just academics that is more intense in a boarding environment. There were kids who knew the ropes well, there were very well to do kids, there were all kinds of things that might have been better left until they were older to encounter. It's tough when you are not there to see the daily moods, interaction, etc. Because my kids were relatively "smart" they did not have to work that hard at the public school to do decently. NOt the case here. It was rough going at times.</p>
<p>Then, there was the opposite problem. Most state unis are very big on GPAs and rank. You can be at a very big disadvantage not being top dog or in the top circle at a school for flagship state u entrance and for merit awards. This is not an issue with many independent schools, since few of their kids end up going there. I found that the GCs there who were so knowledgeable about many of the smaller unknown schools, did not know much about the state schools or about a number of scholarship programs that our public school intensely pursue. Sometimes the way the fill out apps is not in your favor with public u's that don't care about the recommendation summaries or essays but want a numerical ranking on a bunch of areas. A 3.4 is an excellent average at my S's school, but around here with all the weightings, it is average in the public school network. There are state schools that cut at the 3.5 mark. </p>
<p>Our school specifically tells interested families that this is not the route to a more selective college. It can actually impede some kids in that area. It will offer more challenging academics, smaller classes, knowledgeable teachers, in depth discussions, and the kids tend to get higher test scores on the APs and SATs, and the SAT1 writing, but that is no guarantee of getting into a top school. A kid who can get top SAT scores, and top grades, is val of his class at a backwoods school may have a better opportunity to get into HPY than if he goes to such competitive schools and is in the 2nd quintile, grade wise. The number of kids who get into the impressive schools from these type of schools is inflated by the fact that there are many parents who are alums of such colleges, their associations with such colleges, and for some kids, the fact that they come from a truly challenging background. Progams like ABC and Prep for Prep that send kids to private schools, are a big boost for elite college admissions. If your family can be considered challenged by low income, socio-econ factors, environment, first generation in college, etc, going to such a school would give a definite advantage. It can also get the student out of an adverse environment. But if you are the regular ol' middle class family, it is difficult to day if this will be a true advantage for your son.</p>
<p>Fiftysix, thanks for the update. I'm glad he's doing well, I support </p>
<p>your decision.</p>