Senior in HS-feeling REALLY down! Help?

Parents Forum
1

<p>So I'm a senior in high school, and the past week, it seems like everything has been bothering me and I've been feeling SO down. </p>

<p>I applied ED to Columbia, EA to a few others (UNC, penn state). My school isn't too competitive, but lately it seems like all anyone cares about it college. They talk about how Cornell is their safety, how they're sure they're going to get into Princeton, etc (mind you, I have the highest SAT in my grade, and no one has gotten into an ivy from our school other than cornell in ten years).</p>

<p>So that's my school life. Now personal life:</p>

<p>I go to a typical HS-big football, jocks, cheerleaders, all-american. There are a few different groups, and two groups party a TON. My group, it depends--sometimes every week, sometimes every two or three. We're not the most "popular"--pretty much exactly average. I'm by far the most academic. </p>

<p>I'm the biggest partier of my group, though--over the summer I went pretty crazy every weekend with my friends (21+). Even though its senior year, my friends are being really boring lately--and because of the storm, our huge halloween bash was cancelled. Its just gotten me so depressed, that I get mad at everything this week. I feel like I have no friends. </p>

<p>On top of that, this kid who I "dated" over the summer and I had a minor falling out a few weeks ago at a party. Today (since I don't have a car), I asked him to give me a ride to get lunch, and he said he couldn't bc he was studying.</p>

<p>Idk what to say, everything just seems BAD. Any parents give me advice?</p>

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<p>My dd was in such a funk senior year. She had a falling out with one guy and everyone was making her angry. I think it is a natural growing period. Soon you all will be going in different directions. You are growing apart. I will say you need to clean up the drinking. It can grow into a bigger problem and you don’t want to get into trouble by being a minor. It can impact your future.</p>

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<p>Thanks-I have that under control, I’m just worried that I’m like depressed or something. Like I was crying today after none of my friends would take me for coffee…I’m like a mess haha.</p>

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<p>My son was ready to be in college by the 3rd week of his senior year. </p>

<p>I don’t think you are depressed.</p>

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<p>Sorry to hear you are feeling down hippychick. Try to look at this period as the first major transition you’ve had since, well, maybe going off to kindergarten! You’ve just gone throught the stress of writing applications, now you are in that funky period of waiting, waiting, waiting to see where fate will send you.</p>

<p>Suddenly your path is a mystery. While it can be thrilling to think of the amazing experiences that await you at college: exciting academics, residential life in a dorm , freeedom from parental hovering; for right now you cannot even envision the location of all those future times.</p>

<p>The minor falling out with your summer guy, his inability to drive you today could have been the final straw. Tears are OK. But probably, he really was just too busy, and he may not hold any ill will toward you. I bet there are some other attentive boys out there awaiting your attentions.</p>

<p>You may be really used to constant social interaction, and with a little solitude due to the cancellation of the party, you just reverted to striking out by being “mad at everything”. It is good you can read yourself, your emotions, and admit to how you act. </p>

<p>Are there any physical conditions that might need to be looked at? Are you eating well with enough protein, veggies and vitamins? Do you get outside in the fresh air and sun for exercise or sports? With the shorter days of November, some students have a really hard time carving out any UV exposure. Any hormonal signals? Have you tried an ounce of chocolate–it is said to give the brain the same signals as being in love : )</p>

<p>If your sad feelings continue for months, talk to your GC or parents. For now, get some extra sleep, watch some funny movies, and I bet soon your social life will perk up. (And avoid the alcohol trap- it causes physical and mental depression, clouds the judgement concerning boys, and with a DUI can quickly end a life or a great college acceptance.</p>

<p>Hope you feel better soon.</p>

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<p>Senior year is awful for a lot of kids, and sometimes it just takes one thing, like not getting the ride, for things to look a lot bleaker than they are. I think it’s natural for high school friendships to weaken now, because you all know you will be going in different directions.</p>

<p>I hope for their sake that they have actual safeties - a kid at D’s school applied only to reaches and matches, no safeties, and did not get in any of them. It’s good you’ve applied to a range of schools. </p>

<p>Hang in there. Fortunately high school does not last too much longer…</p>

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<p>Thanks so much–today was definitely the last straw. And my group of friends really hyped up senior year–“This will be the best year of our lives”, that now its a disappointment I think.</p>

<p>And the other kids, I hope they do too, but they’re so pretentious about it. Also, it makes me nervous.</p>

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<p>I think it’s a myth that senior year is the best. With college apps, financial aid worries, SATs and APs, and the posturing from others regarding college apps, really it hardly qualifies as fun. </p>

<p>Important not to swallow the hype, I guess. College won’t be perfect, senior year won’t be perfect, because life is never perfect. Moments are. So look to create those moments for yourself, rather than waiting for them to appear.</p>

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<p>My son felt this way also. I think it’s very normal this time of year. Also, know there’s a lot of grandstanding and preening that goes on during the application process. Many kids feel the need to apply to extreme reaches just to prove they are smart. After acceptances start coming in and people realize that senior year will be over before you know it, people get much more sentimental about high school. Right now, everyone is feeling a lot of pressure. Hugs.</p>

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<p>Thanks–happy to know this is common. I’m just in SUCH a bad mood I don’t even want to see my friends, they just annoy me lately (this week). Trying to stay positive though–I don’t FEEL nervous about college apps, but I think I’m SO nervous that it comes out as anger</p>

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<p>The thought of having the best year of your life in high school is depressing. You still have a long way to go. Embrace that thought. You’ll only get smarter, more accomplished, and more confident. You will be able to choose your friends. But first, you’ll have to adjust to a complete lifestyle change, and that can be hard for some. Think of this adjustment as a process that takes time, and not a lot of time - probably just months. You are young and have options. Celebrate that, and accept that you don’t have to be 100% sure of every decision.</p>

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<p>Thanks everyone!</p>

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<p>any other advice?</p>

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<p>It’s good you’re seeing through this kind of hype now – same thing happens to a lot of kids freshman year of college. Everyone tells you “college is great” and “you’ll have so much fun in college!” So if you don’t, you feel like it’s your fault. The truth is – college is new, you don’t always get enough sleep, you’re on your own (which is good and bad), and you don’t have your familiar surroundings. So while it’s a good experience, it’s not necessarily non-stop awesome and amazing.</p>

<p>You’re learning to listen to your own feelings and sort through them, uncomfortable as that is at times. You sound very level-headed to be able to see through the hype. Hang in there. Good luck.</p>

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<p>Senior year is difficult for almost everyone. I have watched my own 3 go through it. Our high school nurse told me that her office is full of seniors all year, most of whom, she said are a “mess.”</p>

<p>You may be having a hard time this week because applications are in, but get help if it goes on for a month.</p>

<p>I would be concerned if my kids were in an environment where they knew others’ SAT scores. Maybe this is common for others, but it is very alien to me. It shows a level of competitiveness that can be distressing. The fact that you cite it also would seem to show that you are in an environment that encourages seeing peers in light of such superficial measures of personal qualities.</p>

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<p>Yes, people are getting very competitive–every knows/judges everyone elses SATs/GPA and gossips about who will get in where.</p>

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<p>Terrible, and these things aren’t really what gets people into schools anyway.</p>

<p>Try not to be involved in it, if you can.</p>

<p>My kids went to a lower quality public school, though for some reason kids go to pretty good schools. However, that stress and tension wasn’t there as much. For instance, if John Doe wants to go to school x, then his friends wouldn’t apply to that school so as to avoid reducing John Doe’s chances. They were all pretty cooperative, in other words.</p>

<p>I don’t blame you for being depressed!</p>

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<p>Going through the same thing!</p>

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<p>I’m so sorry to hear how awful you are feeling. Senior year was the worst for my daughter. There is light at the end of the tunnel. My daughter survived her senior year and is now loving college.</p>

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<p>Try to remember that some of the bragging about having an Ivy as a “safety” is really just posturing, designed to make others feel bad so they can feel better. It is NOT reality at all. </p>

<p>The next time someone goes on about his/her SAT score or GPA, just picture a giant ape jumping up and down and beating his chest to intimidate his rival. Really, this is the human equivalent of that. I sometimes do this whenever some other parent starts bragging about her brilliant offspring and it helps a lot!</p>

<p>Whoever told you your senior year would be the most fun is delusional or lying. Ditto for college being the “best years of your life.” No one peaks at 21. You’ll have a lot of fun over the next few years, as well as some bad times, but life will keep getting better.</p>