Senior parents: Help for parents of juniors

<p>My husband told me it happened to him playing tennis last week. He, being more "no nonsense" cut the guy off, telling him he knew what rating each had,thank you, his choices were made and he was confident my son would get a great education without the huge name. He also added how proud he was of him which seemed to take him back a bit. I, being tired and off guard, was not as pointed, but will be next time if it happens.</p>

<p>I am sure you will be. BTW, I have also gotten some puzzled looks from more polite ppl. They don't want to make comments, so they just say "Oh", when you tell them where your child has applied. You get the same feeling as when they are more direct.</p>

<p>OK, parent of a junior here - consider me an idiot in this process. Please forgive the stupid questions, but here goes -</p>

<p>1) Do the essay prompts on the Common App and on the schools' particular apps generally stay about the same from year to year? If not, how does a kid write her essays over the summer?</p>

<p>2) If your kid doesn't know where she's applying, how can she ask for recommendations in the spring of junior year? Just get the teacher on board, or have him/her write a generic rec, or what? Or should I just assume that the teachers know the answers to this one?</p>

<p>Thanks so much (and for not laughing at me, at least in public!)</p>

<p>Most of the essay topics stay the same from year to year. If you notice many are so vague and open ended you can write on virtually any topic. You really can't get recs in advance, but it is a good idea to be thinking ahead and developing relationships.</p>

<p>Near the end of the school year my junior will be asking his teachers to write his recs. His teachers all limit how many they will do and he wants to make sure his 2 favorite teachers are available.</p>

<p>At my kids' high school, the teacher writes one letter on the common app rec form, and the guidance counselor duplicates it for each application packet sent. Is that atypical? Do most teachers provide customized service?</p>

<p>I think at most high schools, the teachers' recs are generic, not tailored to the college, so the same ones can be used over and over. In general, I think it is a good idea, the teacher should be more concerned about presenting an honest, but still "best light" portrayal of the student, particularly, the student's classroom persona. Having to figure out how to tailor to student to better fit Yale than Harvard, shouldn't be the teacher's problem - that should be what the child is doing when they decide which schools to apply to - which schools do I fit best with, which schools might find something about me attractive.</p>

<p>Chedva: usually schools post the new application forms around the beginning of summer, so while it may be good to think of ideas for essays, don't start the writing process till you see the actual questions.</p>

<p>Also, don't expect that essays started at the beginning of the summer will necessarily be finished by the end; they have a habit of slipping into temporary limbo by early July. Anyway, there likely will be a lot of rewriting or totally starting over before they are in form for submission (sign me "been there", Abby).</p>

<p>Generally teacher recommendations are done without regard to the particular schools, and on a generic form, although some colleges may require a different form. Check with yoiur guidance counseler in September. More importantly, select the teachers that you would like recommendations from as early as possible and ask them as early as possible.</p>

<p>Finally, look up one or more threads in this forum that deal specifically with the wording of recommendations. Some posters have discovered that some well-meaning recommendations have had an effect opposite to what was intended due to the language used.</p>

<p>Shalom and good luck with the process.</p>

<p>It's also important to think ahead about the standardized test taking schedule. The SAT and ACT are NOT given every month...Planning is essential. My son took the SAT in March as a junior and the ACT in April. Then he had May for the AP tests. Lots of his friends took the SAT in May and that ended up being back to back with AP testing...and also the day of the prom. Others had to take the SAT in the summer or as soon as school got rolling in the fall---so they were not really in the "test-taking" mode. Also by being done with the SAT and ACT early, it freed up my son's schedule for a couple SAT II subject tests in Dec.</p>

<p>I'm a student, but I think I'll have to print this thread for my parents (who are new to this process). Thanks for all the great advice so far.</p>

<p>On teacher's recs--it helps to write a self assessment related to your work in that teacher's courses, also metioning relevant EC details about yourself. It helps the teacher to make the recs more specfic.</p>

<p>Take heed of all the previous warnings about ED, but for some kids (like my D) it is the right thing to do - We are very pleased with how it worked for D. Consider it if:</p>

<p>if you can rank your preferences for college #1 by October and feel sure they will not change by May of senior year --not necessarily a "dream school" but the one you would rather go to...</p>

<p>if the college gives a strong admission advantage to ED applicants--like double admission rate -and kid is not likely to be in top 25% of applicant pool</p>

<p>if you have some leeway on financial aid</p>

<p>if the college is a realistic reach for your kid--not a pie-in-the-sky dream --based on research and tips from CC members.</p>

<p>Great thread & advice! Not mentioned: As a junior (student or parent) you are allowed to dream - and dram beyond your obvious. There are thousands of wonderful schools, the majority of which a decent student CAN attend. Look beyond local state U - just to see what's there! If you don't know what's out there, it is hard to ask intelligent questions. If you are in the competitive east/west coast - the midwest might be a very nice surprise (and vice versa). Consider your academic interests, sports, cultural and other aspects. VISIT a variety of places - a roadtrip early in the process is good for both student and parents - things change over 25 years! Use random business trips to take along son or daughter - you learn alot. The most deadly issues are deadlines and finances. File early on everything. For ROTC and service academies, you really need to get the ball rolling end of junior year.</p>

<p>I agree with eDad about some sort of opportunity to spend a night in a dorm somewhere---summer program, visit a friend, etc. If your kid is the oldest in the family, he's probably got no clue of what college life is really like. My son did a HOBY leadership camp---just 3 days at a small college but it was his first chance to have a "roommate", try to sleep in a dorm, use shared baths, etc...A lot of the unknown has been eliminated and move-in day next fall should be a breeze. (I think even the confident kids worry about this kind of stuff.)</p>

<p>This thread has both 'big picture' and 'nitty gritty' suggestions. I think both are important. I would just like to amplify a bit the generic 'selection' question. I had 2 boys apply in back to back years with very similar statistics-but they were very different kids. The first son is much more laid back, has never been in a hurry since the day he was born, and after looking at 4 kinds of schools(small, big, urban, rural basically) decided he wanted small/suburban/rural. We did this search early in the summer before junior year. Later that summer we looked at another 2 small/suburban/rural schools which were more selective than the first he saw. He had the statistics such that these would have been reachy- but not beyond consideration. </p>

<p>After seeing the 'more selective' options, he decided in general he was not enamorate of the idea of pushing himself to try to work towards that 'level' of school in a general sense. Thus, when the SAT's were pretty good, he left them alone and never repeated them. When the option was available to take the 7th course his senior year, he opted not to. You get the picture. He basically decided to 'opt out' when it came to making it a priority to apply to and be accepted at the highest(very highest) selectivity tier of schools, of the type he liked. He was accepted everywhere except the one reachy school- which after initially liking he had decided not to be aggressive about either... He has been very happy at a school that is 'top 20' but not 'top 5'...It has met all his needs, he is challenged intellectually, he didn't kill himself to get in, and isn't killing himself to get reasonably good grades and do other things. This is this boy's style, it has been his whole life, I wasn't going to suggest he do otherwise, unless he truly, truly wanted it...which of course he didn't.</p>

<p>Son #2 actually had similar stats but stars in his eyes, also since birth. We couldn't have held him back if we wanted to. He knew what he want, was willing to do the work needed, and while he applied to a range of schools- I believe he surprised everyone but us and himself that he was as successful as he was. Of his 3 big reaches, he was accepted at one, wait listed at one and rejected at one-- and he was accepted everywhere else- as well, and didn't have a single school on his list that accepted more than 35-40% of the applicants. Our school placed a firm limit on application numbers, and he simply did not want to 'waste' an application on a school he would never go to. His least selective school had an honors program to which he was accepted with big merit money. No rolling admissions, no state schools-- and thankfully it worked out. </p>

<p>Both boys had really happy outcomes to the whole process, and I think that one important reason why was that they drove the selection process.</p>

<p>As a mom of a junior student who is just getting into "the process," I would like to warmly thank all you "veterans" of the college app process for sharing your wisdom, your oopses, and your kids' responses/attitudes. I am taking all of your advice to heart and will share with son and hubby. </p>

<p>Many blessings to you and your college-bound sons and daughters.</p>

<p>P.S. Have you also had to prepare your dd & ds for "independent living"? That, I think, will be our biggest challenge!!</p>

<p>So much really great advice here. One thing to add:</p>

<p>Help your child start developing the resume early. It is so easy to forget which clubs, services, volunteer efforts, community service, church activities, the kids has done. For students: when you ask your counselor and teachers for letters, give them a copy of the resume, and include something about your dreams and aspirations. They will really appreciate having the little extras to include in your letters of recomendation.</p>

<p>Good point. I just made a manila folder at the start of 9th grade. On the outside of the folder I just scribbled "Freshman" and listed any ECs and honors as they happened. Then if there were any particular papers or clippings associated with the activity, I threw it in the folder. My son was pretty involved, yet I could still keep 4 years of info in and on this one folder. It doesn't have to be pretty---just enough to jog your kid's memory when it's time to fill out an activity sheet.</p>

<p>SAT timetable:</p>

<p>My son took his first in March. He took the second seating in May and he was done. Many of his friends took it for the first time in June. This can be problematic if it interferes with finals/studying for finals. I would also consider whether the location has air conditioning, depending on weather in your area. Lastly, there are # of students that do not get their scores back from the CB on the date they expect them. It can be weeks later, and this can cause a lot of tension. It happend to us, and results were in about 2 weeks late on the second seating. Also, keep track of deadlines for registration. They can easily pass without one noting it. Also, be aware of any other testing conflicts (SAT II's etc.). I would table when each test will be taken. A little planning is a good idea.</p>

<p>I have posted this before, but want to do so again since I don't see that anyone else has advised this for this year's juniors. </p>

<p>Some kids do better on the ACT and some do better on the SAT. There are currently VERY few schools that do not accept the ACT. And the myth that "Ivy League schools prefer the SAT and this affects admissions" is just that, a myth. Only Princeton, I believe, has the qualifier that the student may only submit the ACT if the ACT is REQUIRED for another school the student is applying to. All of the other schools (except Cal Tech) take either the SAT or the ACT with or without some combination of SAT subject (SAT II) tests. Some (including Yale) even take the ACT with writing in lieu of the SAT I AND SAT IIs. So, in my opinion, it will greatly benefit your child to know at which of these standardized tests (if either) he/she is most likely to excel. It can save a great deal of $$ and time. The exception to this, of course, is for the student for whom NMF money is important to college financing. This student MUST take the SAT I to qualify for the National Merit program.</p>

<p>With this in mind, I strongly recommend that your junior buy practice books for both the SAT I and the ACT in early or mid junior year. The junior should look through the books to become familiar with the format of each (not in a formal prep way). He/she should then take a timed "practice" SAT I and ACT and score them. From these scores, he/she can determine which one he/she should take (and prep for if needed) in spring of the junior year. I suggest the early spring date if there are AP exams to be taken in May. I also recommend taking the SAT Subject tests immediately after the class is completed and that your student take a "practice" SAT II several weeks before the scheduled test so he/she can "brush up" on any weak areas revealed by the testing. My D did this and learned that, in one subject, there were significant areas that were not covered in her class at school. She borrowed an AP text in this subject, self-taught the material, and quickly reviewed the concepts with her HS teacher in this area.</p>

<p>This program worked well for my D who was accepted to her SCEA school with her ACT score (she did not take the SAT at all). She did take the ACT twice (spring Junior year and September of Senior year), both times without formal prep. Good luck all!</p>

<p>Someone on this forum made a suggestion that we found to be very helpful and I thought I'd pass it along for others to consider. It worked well for us because it got D focused on the whole process early on. If your student is going to take an SAT prep class (or seriously prepare on his/her own), do so during August, September of Junior year, in preparation for the PSAT in early October and the Oct. SAT, offered about a week later. Using this plan, you get a "2 for 1 plan", getting both of these tests out of the way early on, and you may get lucky enough to qualify for NM scholarship programs.</p>