<p>As if I didnt have enough on my mind lately, the interesting juxtaposition of the words hotel room with prom night has come up at my house. As in: we want to get some rooms at the hotel where the prom is held so we can party afterward, sleep over and come home in the morning.
Since I am probably not up with the current prom protocol (read, cavedweller) I have put some questions to you parents below, the answers to which I hope will educate me. Meanwhile I need to make a hair appointmentthe gray is suddenly much worse and it just wont lie down the way it used to </p>
<p>Is this a typical practice, given that the prom is in a hotel--or would this suggestion surprise or concern you? </p>
<p>If it was your child, would you approve this idea or not, and why? Would it matter whether son or daughter?</p>
<p>Would it matter if your daughter was going to prom with a bunch of her girlfriends (i.e., no date) and they planned to share a room?</p>
<p>What are the laws regarding kids under 18 and being outis being in a hotel room after midnight without adult chaperone breaking any kind of curfew law or other law?</p>
<p>Assuming there is no organized after-party, how do kids typically get home when the prom endsthe same way they got there? So if limos are used, do they usually deliver everybody back home too?</p>
<p>Has any parent ever risked their life or putting their kid through years of therapy by picking them up from prom?</p>
<p>While the idea of a place to crash is a good one, there are some issues to be discussed:</p>
<p>When would just a bunch of girls be able to keep out room crashers? If anyone hears they have a room, people will be knocking on the door. And many schools watch the front desk and the hotel won't rent rooms to prom goers. THese kids can trash a room. And if the kids are underage and drink in the hotel, more problems arise. And even thoughh your daughter may be an angel, her friends may have other ideas. As for a son or daughter, different problems. SEX SEX SEX . Prom night <a href="http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/promsex/%5B/url%5D">http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/promsex/</a></p>
<p>As for the limo, depends on the agreement made before hand. Keeping a limo all night is muc $$$. As for minors in a hotel, well, who is paying for the room. Curfew laws depend on the city. </p>
<p>Prom night can be wonderful. It can also be a night where kids are suddenly free...and good judgement can go to the wayside. My D's friends had 8 kids in a four seater car, with no seatbelts. A car hit them. Any other time they wouldn't have squished that many kids into an unsafe vehicle, but it was PROM NIGHT, so good judgement disappeared.</p>
<p>I know I didn;t help. Sorry. Just brought up more concerns I guess ; (</p>
<p>In our house: No, to son or daughters.
The more folks involved the less judgement is used. I am not interested in the liability so I will not rent the room. I question the judgement of any adult who will sign for kids (will they provide supervision or alcohol?) so my kid is not permitted. Same held true for 'beach week'!!</p>
<p>Apparently prom night is now THE night to lose one's virginity, if it's still intact. The hotel room would certainly help that to happen. If the virginity is long gone, the hotel room would still lead to the same thing. One of the regular posters here has a prom-night child, now college age.</p>
<p>Digmedia, Yes! That is exactly what happened to poor Charlotte Simmons! except she was already at college... oh well. I love it when people use examples of ficticious people from novels to make a point!! :) What did Joan of Arcadia do on her prom night? How bout Luann?</p>
<p>well it would be more comfortable than the backseat of a car- particulary given the size of current models but I don't think so.
Here kids often rent limos and are dropped off at a a house for a sleepover when the rental ends- say 2?
I think assuming the dance is over at midnight that 2 hours is plenty of time to get something to eat/or go play video games.</p>
<p>There is another thread about a x-country trip and hotels not renting to minors that you might want to read.
COntrary to childs assertions their life will not be ruined if they don't have carte blanche on prom night</p>
<p>And I know some very nice people in their 50s who lost their virginity on prom night and were married about three months later. And divorced a few years after that.</p>
<p>No, no, no. If I'm a fellow cavedweller, so be it.</p>
<p>Unless, I suppose, you make it very clear that there WILL BE an adult chaperone in the hotel room. I mean, if they just want some place to crash after the prom, what do the girls care if one of the mom's shares the room?</p>
<p>In our community, the school and the hotel communicate to ensure that no hotel rooms are booked by students or their parents for students. Obviously, this depends on the good will of all, but the hs is basically supporting a set of values that the mainstream of parents support. And obviously anyone can go for an alternate hotel arrangement. But I think it is extremely uncommon.</p>
<p>Limos to and limos from, to the homes. HS also communicates with limo cos. re drinking in limo because both the co. and the hs want to avoid what used to happen: limo picks up kid 1-2 hours before prom, kids stop to pick up "stashes" previously hidden in bushes; kids arrive plastered at prom. Today, were this to happen, they are turned away (there is even a breathalyzer - did not need to be used lst year).</p>
<p>As an alternate to the aforementioned pre-prom activity: many families host an hors d'oeuvre party for 10-20 or so kids. All parents are invited for part of it for "photo ops" which is great for the boys' families who otherwise might miss out on that.</p>
<p>Would not go so far as to pick kid up.</p>
<p>
[quote]
And I know some very nice people in their 50s who lost their virginity on prom night and were married about three months later. And divorced a few years after that.
[/quote]
H was one of those "prom night dads."</p>
<p>Taramom,
We hosted my son's prom after party in our home - about 10 or 12 kids. It was common practice for the kids in our high school. I would have said no to the hotel room if he'd asked.</p>
<p>Remember that the person that rents the hotel room is liable for any damages to the room, or objects in the room. </p>
<p>When I was in high school a group of girls got a room to celebrate someone's 18th b-day. A group of boys crashed the room and somehow a tv set was thrown from the balcony. The 18 year old girl who rented the room had to buy a new tv set.</p>
<p>The problem may not be with the group of girls renting the room. It can be tough to tell others not to come into their room. The group could get rather large, the room could get damaged and the original group could be kicked out.</p>
<p>As far as 18 year olds being out, in a hotel and curfew--they are adults.
I know I still think of mine as a child, but they are adults and if something goes wrong, they will be held responsible.</p>
<p>Jmmom,
We do the appetizer/picture parties too. Every year the location for pictures got more elaborate and farther away. The guys in my son's group also cooked dinner for the girls - gourmet recipes from Epicurious - they didn't quite get it all together at the same time but they had fun.</p>
<p>Prom + hotel room = trouble - of some sort guarenteed and lots of liability d/t poor judgement of someone - at fault or not.</p>
<p>HAHA i just LOVE the comments that 18 year olds are adults - in the real world - not the legal one - especially when they are still in high school. Not starting a legal age hassle here about being 18 - the OP's question reflects the concerns of high school kids going to the prom and staying at a hotel for the nite.</p>
<p>It is a recipe for potential disaster for all involved.</p>
<p>As for responsibility, if its put on Daddy's card, well then...</p>
<p>At my D's school ( a Catholic Prep) the prom is in April (jr,) and early May (Sr). When they buy their ticket, they are told about the "rules" no hotel rooms, good behavior, they sign a contract about not drinking, etc. If the rules are broken, and believe me, if they are, the school ALWAYS finds out. If kids even go to the hotel desk and ask about a room, the school finds out. So going in, the kids know about the rules. In the past, due to misbehavior (drinking and such) some kids weren't allowed to walk with the class at graduation. Doesn't happen often, but the threat is there. If a junior, you could lose the chance to go to the senior prom. May sound harsh, but the kids are careful to not break the rules too much, and don't let others coax them into doing "bad" things</p>
<p>There is even a dress code- basically that it the attire shoud be in good taste. </p>
<p>The kids are 18, but just barely. And there is something about PROM NIGHT that can cloud good judgement.</p>
<p>And even if they are adults, if something happens, we as mom and dad will still deal with the consequences.</p>
<p>Regarding 18 yo as adults - another point to consider - if any alcohol or drugs are concerned in the prom / post prom event - parents can be held accountable also - in some places - just to keep it in mind.</p>
<p>Other question - who rents the hotel room?? the student?? unlikely!! I have seen kids rent rooms - actually with parent doing it - major damages - parents credit card gets charged for all damages - not such a nice idea at all.</p>
<p>Kids here usually take the limo home - change - real fast - and are out the door again on their way to an after prom party - have to be there by curfew (legal one for drivers under 18) - keys go to parent of the house til breakfast is served in the am. Alot of the parties are invite only - otherwise they get alot of crashers and problems/trouble.</p>
<p>OR - they attend the high school after prom party - have to be there by curfew and are not allowed to leave til 6am - lots of fun stuff, more music, food, movie, crazy stuff, dancing, chilling - whatever - they are not allowed to leave - unless emergency that is confirmed by a phone call to the parent - and once they leave - can't go back.</p>
<p>You can always tell if a hotel room was involved - the word gets around pretty quickly - and there is usually a bunch of kids in trouble.</p>
<p>At our school, we host a very extensive "After-Prom" celebration that ends about 7:00am. It gives the students a place to hang out all night and have fun. We bring in tons of things like Blackjack and Poker tables, Roulette wheels, and give each a block of chips to use for the night. There are ongoinging giveaways (with great prizes like TVs and MP3 players) all night. Not all, but many of the students attend, and then leave in the morning to have breakfast at nearby restaurants. It's great. I'm one of the Blackjack dealers!</p>
<p>That is what needs to be done the after prom party.</p>
<p>...we have a similar program at our Grad Night- costs like $30 bucks, the kids show up and don't know where they are going, can only bring a clear plastic bag with "stuff"- no purses, no cell phones, no pagers. When student is dropped off, the parent is given the paper with all the details of location, etc and contact information. Apparently its great...and the seniors are sworn to secrecy so the younger students will be suprised as well. We hear rumors of swimming, games, a band, and more.</p>
<p>All the precautions make for a fun safe evening. No cell phones- no calling friends to meet you and bring "goodies", no knowing location ahead of time - no planning for friends or "goodies". My D can't wait until its her turn and can't wait to "not share" the secret with younger sis. </p>
<p>THey started it because of all the teen age drinking that goes on that night. Many schools in our city have similar programs and it works.</p>
[/quote]
If we could somehow tap into that instantaneous communication system that HS kids have, we could make a fortune! But all kidding aside, that is such a true thing.</p>
<p>Thank you guys. I need all the support you've given so graciously.
The trouble is, you know how all kids accuse their parents of being "the only ones who say no"? Well at her school, we practically ARE. Most parents there rationalize their approval for everything as "giving them independence". And what's worse is, her school was asked about this very issue and they said they can take no responsibility for where they go or what they do after the prom, including getting a room.</p>
<p>I love all the "after-prom" ideas, but in our case can't come up with any more exciting alternatives than coming to ours or someone else's home to sleep over. Oh_well!</p>