<p>I agree that the hotel room is a bad idea..... as a hs senior male even I would shy away from such a potentially dangerous situation.</p>
<p>as for after prom activities, last year at the conclusion of jr prom my date and I spent about 3 hours lost in downtown la after I missed the correct highway ramp and we somehow found ourselves in some rough neighborhoods. It allowed us to get to know each other better:)</p>
<p>Boy I have to say no on this one too. No way I want to be responsible for a hotel room. My son's high school even sent home a note that said we were NOT to rent out hotel rooms (really how would they know) for our teens. The hotel where prom is going to be will not even let students under 18 come in through the front doors of the hotel! Good luck!</p>
<p>Also no. S or D. Teaching responsible independence on prom night = driver's ed at Daytona 500.</p>
<p>I always come down on the side of yes. Except here. If she goes and indulges in sex and alcohol, generally bad news. If she doesn't while everyone else does - she will have a terrible time. If it is really going to be just the girls - I think some family will have a basement or an upper floor they can have to themselves. Now, my D for winter formal did go with girls to a hotel room. However, they went INSTEAD of going to the dance, because none of them had dates. And they were in the city while the formal and its associated partiers was down further south. With that, I was comfortable.</p>
<p>There is a case pending in MA where parents rented a hotel room for high school kids who then drank and had sex. The State is going after the parents.</p>
<p>Sure, I'd get them a hotel room, and join them there. LOL Not kidding either. When S went on all star sports trips, the kids always wanted to congregate in one hotel room to just "chill" and watch a movie, talk, rest,etc. No problem. I brought a book and sat in the room as well. In some of the rooms where the chaperones left when the movie started, there were some problems. Not in my room.</p>
<p>I was actually considering that--getting a room there and inviting whoever she wanted to join us.
But considering it would be after midnight, sheesh, I'd be incapable of watching my dog...</p>
<p>But you'd BE THERE...</p>
<p>No. </p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>Couldn't agree more ADad!! A hotel room sounds like a set-up for a disaster. I was always accused of being "the only parent.." Of course it always comes out later that I was in the majority after all.</p>
<p>My daughter was invited to a post prom party in a hotel suite where the parents planned on staying in the next room. They sent a letter to everyone invited stating that they would tolerate no alcohol or drugs. They brought in entertainment for the kids. Unfortunately, there were some little idiots who chugged as much alcohol as they could during the limo ride to the hotel so they would be high enough to breeze through the evening in spite of the party's dry status. They proceeded to be violently ill. The hostess and her parents were mortified and it put a real damper on the party for the other attendees. My daughter was amazed that they would show such disrespect to the hostess (who had also sent out an e-mail to everyone telling them that there would be no drinking at her party) and her parents. How much more controlled could a party be?</p>
<p>I think that the comments about prom night affecting the judgement of some children are correct. Knowing what I know now, I would say NO to that kind of after prom party.</p>
<p>One other thing.....
the tradition at my high school years ago was to drive down to the Jersey Shore after the prom, sleep under the board walk and watch the sun rise. Really smart....a bunch of exhausted kids driving down the Garden State Parkway at 3:00 AM. What were our parents thinking!!!??</p>
<p>no chance in hades.....</p>
<p>Around here, someone usually hosts a before prom dinner and afterwards the kids usually crash at someone's house (with parents home), hang out in the basement watching tv, sometimes playing games, etc. Parents make breakfast in the morning, kids go home.</p>
<p>Absolutely, no way would I go for a hotel room.</p>
<p>We have a nice park near the HS and for my daughters senior year, a lot of the kids and all the parents went there for the photo ops.</p>
<p>I have hosted after-prom parties three years in a row. We decorate the back yard with candles and white lights with cloth covered tables and have a dessert buffet--complete with homemade ice cream. The kids stay for the night, watching movies and crashing on the floor. They make breakfast the next morning. I keep a low profile, but glide through every now and then to be sure everything is okay. </p>
<p>I lose a night's sleep, but it is well worth it. In fact, I'm quite sad that this will be the last year this event happens at my house!</p>
<p>NO to hotel parties.</p>
<p>
[quote]
We decorate the back yard with candles and white lights with cloth covered tables and have a dessert buffet--complete with homemade ice cream.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>rbinaz, it sounds so nice.</p>
<p>Prom here is the night of graduation in the high school gym all decorated and then it goes all night, kind of like an after-prom, with all kinds of incentives to stay, such as give-aways, etc. Once you leave, you can't return. The real problem is that the tradition is to drive out to the Hamptons (about an hour and 1/2 away) and have beach homes rented and about a gazillion people stay in each house and party not just that night but the rest of the weekend!!!! Kids feel like everyone goes so you're an idiot if you don't. Well, the answer to them from me woiuld be NO and I think I would agree with everyone here who has said No to your questions. They can come to our house and have supervised fun and breakfast in the morning. Fortunately my son has no desire to attend beach parties and drink all night.</p>
<p>She ASKED for a room? </p>
<p>Let's reverse back to my prom:</p>
<p>Boyfriend had a Amex (in his name, linked to his parents acct, he was also a senior in HS). He gave me the Amex to 1. get my dress altered and 2. rent the hotel room. I recall renting the room without a problem. No questions asked. I told my parents what was up and that I would return the next evening (the day after the prom). No problem. </p>
<p>There was no party in the room - everyone else had their own place to go - nobody was looking to crash the room. No alcohol in the room. There WAS plenty of partying and available alcohol at other venues -we would have been safer in the room all night. </p>
<p>I remeber thinking that the room was a waste of money because we got back from the prom and "after-party" at about 3 and left at 9 to meet friends for breakfast to go to a theme park. My dad rented us a car for the weeked. I still remember feeling good that my dad trusted me enough to do that. Actually, I don't recall any sex. </p>
<p>Actually, the wild kids actually did their dirt DURING the prom (BJs under the tables, etc). Some kids were acting like they had never been out of the house before. They were probably the ones with the after-prom lockdown and very little freedom. They were always the wildest kids.</p>
<p>If it were my son, I would get him the room. But, every kid is different. </p>
<p>Like I ALWAYS say on here....know thy child and thy child's friends!</p>
<p>"BJs under the tables, etc"</p>
<p>WOW!!!!! What sort of prom was this? Last year as a junior I went to the senior prom and the most provocative I saw was light kissing and highly suggestive dancing....</p>
<p>Maybe its just my school but people dont really get into the heavy stuff unless they are very heavily wasted(and I usually dont hang out with that crowd). This year I plan on going to an after party but I'm not holding any "expectations". There are just too many variable for things to turn out horribly :(</p>
<p>But still, looking forward to it :D :D :D :D</p>
<p>My prom was in a hotel in Palm Desert -- a full 90 minutes away. Keep in mind that this was 90 minutes away AND the drive back included 30 minutes of driving up a curvaceous mountain road.</p>
<p>Our school mandated that no high school students would be allowed to have hotel rooms.</p>
<p>The school wanted 300 17-19 year-old teenagers to drive 90 miles up a mountain at 3a.m. after a night that was surely not sober and clean no matter how much the school wanted it.</p>
<p>Guess how many people actually ended up driving home?</p>
<p>...</p>
<ol>
<li>One of the cars taking some of these five people home got into an accident that left some kids in casts at graduation.</li>
</ol>
<p>I ended up staying at an adjacent hotel for the night, paid for by my parents. I am the stereotypical "good kid" -- I have never smoked, I don't drink, and those "other things" parents worry about weren't a concern. Several of my friends stayed with me in the same hotel, and we had a great after-prom party. There were no parents.</p>
<p>Then again, I'm not a parent. If I were, I can imagine that I would be hesitant about this as well. But I also doubt that this would be the first time my S/D experienced independence. Waiting until they're 18, about to graduate from high school and go into the wide world of college seems like it may be a little late to determine if they can make it on their own. My parents took the sink/swim approach with me, sending me 400 miles away for 8 weeks with other kids my age without constant supervsision/strict rules about my behavior, but they did it <em>long</em> before prom came up, and so they knew they could trust me.</p>