<p>I didn't say many of the kids aren't doing the same things- I know they are- some are even doing things we never would have dreamed of
<a href="http://www.komotv.com/stories/36457.htm%5B/url%5D">http://www.komotv.com/stories/36457.htm</a></p>
<p>But I know where my kids are & like someone already pointed out- many of our parents didn't have a clue, but this generation of parents- wants to do things differently- I don't think that is so bad.</p>
<p>barrons - it is possible that those girls in those Cadillacs will tell you today a tale of terrible sorrow. I too grew up in permissive times. Not always a good thing. And yes, upper middle class and good grades and etc. Still, not all behavior was good for all involved. Holding the reins I look at as a way to save my D from heartache.</p>
<p>Just another small update. I called two of the parents I know best and asked them what they knew of the prom plans. I can't remember who said what now but here is the gist of their remarks:</p>
<p>*Yes and I'm just so happy they're even going. In my day we'd die of embarrassment and probably wouldn't go if we didn't have dates. </p>
<p>I don't have any problem with the hotel idea. At the the junior prom last year she did the hotel thing and everything was fine, so don't see how I can object. Well, she said there was some problem in the room next to theirs, but nothing major.</p>
<p>These girls are so good. I don't think they would invite anyone in. It'll be just like a sleepover. It would be a different thing if they had dates.
I don't know who's making the plans or where they're staying. I guess I'll have to ask her. But they're going to be on their own soon at college anyway.... *</p>
<p>I don't see any point in calling others, I know the answers will be similar and no one will dare to be the only one to say no. I also found out the hotel is right in the area of L.A. with the liveliest nightlife, streetlife, and cruisers, so I would be surprised if they could withstand the temptation to go out and keep the revelry going, curfew law or no. I called the hotel and the minimum age to book a room is 18. </p>
<p>So I guess I'll have to live with the "uncool parent" label, and have her call me within a certain time of their return to the hotel so I can go pick her up. :o</p>
<p>better to be an "uncool parent" than a grandparent resulting from prom night :D</p>
<p>Or stay in the hotel...that what my offer to my Ds will be...much to there extreme joy i am sure </p>
<p>And remember, this too shall pass, and after a little bit of crabiness, D will be fine, if she gets crabby...</p>
<p>Believe me I like the room idea but just don't see how it would make sense. My husband is dead to the world after 9pm. I could last till midnight but would never remain awake the rest of the night. Even if I have hotel wakeup calls arranged for me every hour on the hour, I think that D would be just as much (and maybe more) infuriated by me continually going in their room to check on her, as she would if I just picked her up and got it over with. The other kids would be annoyed too, I'm sure, and their parents would probably feel I was interfering. And then I'd be spending about $200 for a room to boot.</p>
<p>It's clear now I wouldn't get any help in sharing the room or responsibility. I've felt for several years that most other parents at her school see any indication of hovering or overprotectiveness as the kiss of death to their cool, independence-granting, free-spirit, I'm-friends-with-my-kid reputation. This was I guess, the litmus test. I'm sure I'm just becoming a grumpy cynic in my old age but privately think that for certain parents it's just basically easier on their lives to say "yes" than "no".</p>
<p>And as for the issue of her crabbiness...well we've met before, we're not strangers...as they say it goes with the territory. I can probably grant some other special privilege or trinket to help ease that.</p>
<p>I haven't read every single post, so forgive me if this has already been stated, but I'm guessing that most of the time an older sibling, aunt/uncle, cousin, etc is the one doing the booking of hotel rooms. We have a 20-yr-old and I can TOTALLY see him doing something like this to look like "the cool big brother" if his younger brothers ever wanted a room. He doesn't always use the best judgement ;)</p>
<p>I would never rent a room for a bunch of HS kids, no matter how well behaved and "responsible" they are normally. Other kids will hear and come out of the woodwork and show up because they are a friend of a friend of so-and-so.</p>
<p>SHOPPING!!!! Always works for my Ds. As for being dead to the world, my H is too. Falls asleep with remote in hand pointed at TV.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Falls asleep with remote in hand pointed at TV.
[/quote]
...and fist still clenched tightly around it, right? LOL.</p>
<p>yep....i have pictures!! When he turns 50 its gonna be his bday invitation</p>
<p>I'd generally say "no." I'm a hs junior girl, and I hear all these stories about how prom is great, but at the same time, I also know that prom can be the worst night of some people's lives. There is no reversing of what goes on that night. Once it's done, you can't fix it.</p>
<p>Not to scare you or anything, but what happens if she gets pregnant? It may be a bad decision that she has to live with the rest of her life. Her future and college career may be deterred.</p>
<p>Every year, there are also tragic stories about drunken prom-goers who get in a car accident. My friend last year was a victim, and sadly, she did not make it. Even now, her parents regret giving her too much freedom.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if you trust your daughter enough, and she has good friends, it's up to you.</p>
<p>Not to be entirely out of it, but honestly - the girl doesn't have a date. One bed away from home does not a pregnancy make. In fact, that's what she's going to have once she goes to college.</p>
<p>I completely agree with the objections to the room based on other girls, based on people crashing, potential damage, liability, etc - but come on! Are they going to take turns using the room? Really - if kids want to have sex, they'll do it, with or without a hotel room. Drop the stigma.</p>
<p>As I said, I completely agree with other reasons for rejecting the hotel room plan - but they shouldn't be knee-jerk reactions based on "Oh my god, if she has a hotel room, she'll automatically have sex, and, of course, she'll get pregnant." I would be more worried about her going out on a date than this scenario with the girls.</p>
<p>{Big Sigh} Aries, we FINALLY agree on something. ;)</p>
<p>I wondered why there was such a huge "pregnancy" concern about prom night. I'm sure these kids go out on other nights of the year. And, the go out in the DAYTIME, right? Parents, kids have sex during the day. Only us old fogies have fallen into the "after dark" routine (and for GOOD reason...lol). </p>
<p>Unless your child is not leaving the house the other 364 days a year, I don't think the prom presents any significant increase in pregnancy risk. If there is data to support otherwise, I'll stand corrected.</p>
<p>I would be more worried about situations where sex is spontaneous and unexpected........and kids are unprepared. </p>
<p>Are hoards of kids really waiting until prom night to devirginize themselves? We should hear from them. I wish more students would post on the prom night details.</p>
<p>"Are they going to take turns using the room?"</p>
<p>Yes, that actually happens!</p>
<p>I'm writing this on about 3 1/2 hours of sleep, so I may not be coherent, but it's over with. After the prom the limo dropped them all off at an all-night restaurant down the street from their hotel. Report was, the food at the prom was lousy. So D uses her friend's cell to call me to come pick her up from there instead of the hotel and says to call her when I'm outside so she knows to come out. Well fine but friend then decides to have a long conversation on her cell (with who at 1am???) and there I am this middle-aged matron sitting in my car outside in the red wondering how to tell D I'm there with helicopters and police cruisers all over the place and the street jammed full of kids and nightclubbers.....Anyway I finally got her, she had a great time and got an hour or to hang with her homies after the prom, and didn't seem much put out. There were a few male dates with them and I guess planning to also stay at the room too so I'm glad it worked out the way it did. D looked absolutely spectacular, too, sigh....</p>
<p>YAY! Glad she had a good time.</p>
<p>Momsdream - I think me may agree on a few other things. ;) I could see prom night being a concern for a COUPLE, but not for a girl going with her girl friends. I have heard of couples waiting for that night to have sex - so it's "special," but I really would be shocked if that were the night for random hook-ups and first-time intercourse between people who aren't close to dating.</p>
<p>PS - I can tell you from college living that yes, the daytime is quite popular. One of my roomies used to call us to her room in the middle of the afternoon, where we could hear sounds and telltale bed creaks from the girls who lived upstairs.</p>
<p>"barrons - it is possible that those girls in those Cadillacs will tell you today a tale of terrible sorrow. I too grew up in permissive times. Not always a good thing. And yes, upper middle class and good grades and etc. Still, not all behavior was good for all involved. Holding the reins I look at as a way to save my D from heartache."</p>
<p>Actually we still recall those days fondly--as we are together 38 years later.</p>
<p>Ummm, yes, there are many kids who feel PROM NIGHT is the night and why wait any longer, blah blah blah....</p>
<p>Its just something about prom night that is a rite of passage...so kids will do things that night they might otherwise not...I mean, if your D were on a date and came home at 4am, you would be irritated, but 10am after prom, no biggie...</p>