<p>Thats what I was trying to say, thank you NickyJane, you put it very well ;)</p>
<p>I find it funny, citygirlsmom, how you claim to work with "children," yet you</p>
<p>A) Don't seem to know anything about teenagers
B) Discredit yourself by using phrases like "OMG" and "!!!!" (I mean, come on, what self-respecting ADULT can't manage to use proper grammar and linguistics when a 17 year old high school 'child' can?</p>
<p>Maybe you work with children, in which case, four years, three years, or two years IS a lifetime... but then again, if you worked with teens, maybe you'd learn that you can't bunch everyone up into neat little categories, and that some, if not most, are mature enough to be adults before ever turning 18.</p>
<p>I'm 17 1/2, my girlfriend just turned 15. It's a two year and six month difference, not three years, and not four years, so let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay?</p>
<p>And when I say "life experiences" I don't mean sex; if I mean sex, I'll come out and say sex, I'm mature enough not to pussyfoot around an issue. What I mean was, she was adopted at the age of five after her parents died... she had to grow up fast; she's not weak or vulnerable; she's stronger and more mature than most girls my age.</p>
<p>I don't know, you say your daughter talks to you about this stuff; from what I know, I seriously doubt you're hearing the whole truth. But if you sit here and try to talk like you know your daughter 100% and then in the same breath (or keystroke, if you will) make such broad and false assumptions about every teenager, you're just going to lose touch with your daughter.</p>
<p>That's my biggest problem with the world and how they relate to me and my peers; you may be able to group children into cliques and groups, but mature teens have their own personalities, their own voice, and they don't like being generalized and stereotyped.</p>
<p>I don't consider myself a child, I don't consider my girlfriend a child, and I don't think I'm wrong or immoral for dating her. None of my friends think I'm a 'loser' or a 'player' or anything else you mentioned. </p>
<p>And, one last thing I want to address: You asked what a freshman knows about a relationship compared to a senior?</p>
<p>I'm my girlfriend's first real boyfriend; since it isn't about "being a player," as you so eloquently think, then, perhaps, it's like a normal, mature relationship. Maybe we're each other's best friend and I'm not trying to have sex with her every time I see her; you know, just maybe.</p>
<p>Seriously, stop discrediting yourself with generalizations. You keep saying four years this and four years that, but if you really had any idea, you'd know it's still only three at the max.</p>
<p>As I am speaking to who I assume are teenagers, I try and use language they will understand. And when you are on a board like this, then sometimes the writing gets sloppy. Mea Culpa.</p>
<p>As for generalizations, forgive me for assuming anything about you. The fact you say you are 17 1/2 is to me interesting. And, I hate to tell you, if most teens were mature enough to be adults, then we as adults would see that. </p>
<p>And, when you are 18, 21, 25, and see what a true mature relationship is, you will look back in wonder at what you thought you had. Our job as parents and as adults (which your 15 year old girl friend is not, no matter how much you and she wish to believe she is) is to guide our children and in some cases their friends, into seeing the ramifications and consequences of their actions. We have been there. Right now, you are just two years apart in age. That was not the question, it was seniors dating freshman. At my D's school, a senior or junior cannot take a freshman to a dance unless they get special permission, the parents are asked, and the students are talked to. </p>
<p>As for my relationship with my daughter, it is very open and very honest. I may not know everything, but I know quite a bit.</p>
<p>As I stated, the original question was about seniors and freshman- 9 and 12 graders...my daughter was 14 as a freshman, the senioers were 18. Four years.</p>
<p>You seem to be mighty defensive regarding your relationship. As you are her "first real boyfriend", what does she have to compare you to. Maturity takes time, not just experiences. Someday you will see that.</p>
<p>And if generalizations offend you, as an adult, I can tell you, teenagers are not that different today than they were when I was your age, or my mother was your age. </p>
<p>Read some of the posts from people your age. Read from the 18 year old young lady.</p>
<p>When my D was a freshman, I told her that sometimes junior and senior boys hit on freshman girls because they think the girls will be impressed and awed by getting attention from older guys. I also mentioned that she needed to take a good look at the boys that do that. She said, Yeah, sure mom. A week later, a sophmore friend of hers told her the exact same thing, and that the boys that dated freshman girls were seen as what I described above. Generalizations, judgements, all coming from a student. And my D's friends confirmed what she was told. I drive my D's friend around all the time, I hear the stories, hear was teenage girls have to say. They judge, they assume, they live it. So it is not only adults who make judgements and generalizations. It is your classmates, your friends, your peers. In fact, its even harsher in your world than in mine.</p>
<p>Palagon, as a parent and an adult, we have learned to error on the side of caution, and if that means we make some generalizations about teenagers, we do it with experience, love, and boundaries. It may not be fair- we say don't do this because in most cases, it is not a good idea. </p>
<p>If you asked most parents, they would do what they could to discourage, or in fact, forbid a dating relationship between freshman and seniors. Most mothers I know would not allow a freshman girl to date any senior boy. Period. No matter what. Don't even ask about what the Dad's think. Generalization, sure. Unfair, oh well. Life, yes.</p>
<p>personally, if I were the senior, no matter how mature I thought the frosh was, I'd wait (patiently) at least a few years. Then everything will be okay. WHy pick a girl so young? Waiting...can't be that hard? (eh...)</p>
<p>You know, when I'm 21, 25, or older, I -may- think that the relationships I had in high school were immature; in fact, I hope so.</p>
<p>But let's not generalize (again). My relationship is no more immature than a senior dating a senior. I have a friend, he's about 8 months older than I am, a senior, and has never had a girlfriend (and not for lack of trying).</p>
<p>But yet, you'd be all for a senior girl dating him, even though he's inexperienced as well. Hmm... I smell a double standard.</p>
<p>It's not about experience in a place where everyone is inexperienced.</p>
<p>I will concede that some, if not most senior-freshmen relationships are weird, but I really hate it when people condemn every situation, especially when they don't know every situation.</p>
<p>And judging from what you've posted, cgm, I think you'd be shocked at what goes on in the lives of teens when the doors close. Just because your daughter talks to you doesn't mean she -talks- to you.</p>
<p>i think palagoon holds the most valid argument at this point</p>
<p>age means nothing, cgm. what about those 10 year spaned relationships that some adults now possess？some children just grow up very quickly, and you can't stop that. sure you have your child's best interest in heart, but you know, if she wants to get into a relationship THAT ＢＡＤＬＹ ｗｉｔｈ ｓｏｍｅｏｎｅ ｔｈａｔｓ ｔｈａｔ ｍｕｃｈ ｏｌｄｅｒ ｔｈａｎ ｈｅｒ， ａｎｄ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｌｏｖｅ， ｔｈｅｎ ｌｅｔ ｈｅｒ． ｙｏｕ ｃａｎｎｏｔ ｃｏｎｔｒｏｌ ｙｏｕｒ ｃｈｉｌｄ ｆｏｒ ｔｈｅ ｒｅｓｔ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｌｉｆｅ． Ｉｍ ｎｏｔ ａｒｇｕｉｎｇ ａｇａｉｎｓｔ ｍｙ ｍｏｔｈｅｒｓ ｃａｕｔｉｏｕｓ ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ； ｒａｔｈｅｒ， ｉ ａｍ ｑｕｉｔｅ ｔｈａｎｋｆｕｌ ｆｏｒ ｈｅｒ ｃｏｎｃｅｒｎ． I do think that most, not all, high school relationships are usually a waste of time and energy if the couple does not attend the same college. but that does not mean that one is not allowed to be involved in a freshman-senior relationship. </p>
<p>Everything is just relative, but Nｏｔ ｅｘｐａｎｄｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ｈｏｒｉｚｏｎｓ ｗｈｅｎ ｔｈｉｎｋｉｎｇ ｌｉｍｉｔｓ ｙｏｕｒ ｐｅｒｃｅｐｔｉｏｎ ｉｎ ｌｉｆｅ． I ｒｅａｌｌｙ ｄｏ ｆｅｅｌ ｓｏｒｒｙ ｆｏｒ ｃｌｏｓｅ－ｍｉｎｄｅｄ ｐｅｏｐｌｅ， ａｎｄ Ｉ hope that people can change and become more open-minded to new ideas and innovations as this world advances into a new era.</p>
<p>I think everyone should look at it case-by-case. Citygirlsmom, not all seniors are players and scumbags nor does dating a freshman make them one. It honestly depends on the people. Maybe demographics and geography has something to do with it, maybe not. It doesn't seem that big of a deal here in suburban Delaware as it is elsewhere. You can't judge everyone based on bad stories. </p>
<p>If that be the case, all black people would hate white people because of the KKK.
All Christians would hate Jews for crucifying Jesus Christ.
All Americans and Brits would hate Germans because of Nazis.
All adults would type like idiots to 'connect' with teens because a few teens type with their face. </p>
<p>You can't stereotype all seniors and freshman because of what you've heard.</p>
<p>I can not wait until you all grow up and look back....hindsight is invaluable. As for serious relationships in highschool, think what you will about them. As for kids growing up so fast, that is not the best thing. I do not want to control my daughter's relationships. But as a mother, it is my responsiblity to point out realities in th world.</p>
<p>I am not shocked nmy what teenagers do, sometimes I am saddened because some mistakes that can be made are irrevercible. Reputations stick, and can take years to recover from. At a very young age, adding extra drame to your lives may seem exciting, but I promise you, I do, when you look back you will see what we see. And again, sorry for generalizing, we just know so much more than you think you do.</p>
<p>WIth that, take care and good luck. Just remember, you are still just learning about life. Take it slow and easy. Do not rush because you think you know it all. ANd be kind to each other. </p>
<p>Palagon, you need to chill. Slow down. And look at yourself a bit deeper and see if you can really cast the first stone.</p>
<p>
<p>and its kind of sexist of you to say its okay for an older girl to date a much younger boy than vice versa....sigh
</p>
<p>whoa there, me, sexist? I did not say I perceived it differently, it was a question, and gender was not the main point of my example. I could say you're being sexist for always talking about 14 year old freshman girls and senior guys. Either way, whatever I say can't change your beliefs because you believe that because of my age what I say has no value. I'm sure its a very nice thought to think that age always brings wisdom, but I believe that to be a childish one...</p>
<p>edit: Oh yeah and my name isn't frank =P</p>
<p>What 'first stone' am I casting here, cgm?</p>
<p>You attacked me and anyone like me by saying I was "pathetic," "doing it just for bragging rights and sex," and you've hinted time and time again that I'm ignorant just because I'm younger than you.</p>
<p>You keep saying when I look back I'll think of myself as an idiot. Honestly, I don't think I will; I did what was right for me at this time, I didn't jump into anything, and, 3 months into my relationship, I haven't jumped to anything yet.</p>
<p>Chris is right, we can't change your opinions because you're so focused on being right. I don't know if you had some terrible experience in high school, but you are vehemently set against something that you in actuality know very little about.</p>
<p>I've already acknowledged that there are people out there who are pathetic enough to date a freshman just for easy sex, but then again, there are people out there who are pathetic enough to hate people based on the color of their skin, the orientation of their sexuality, or any number of other things that are in the big picture irrelevant to the character of someone's heart.</p>
<p>To quote you, you said: "sorry for generalizing, we just know so much more than you think you do"</p>
<p>Generalizing is NEVER the result of someone knowing more than anyone else; it's the result of someone being ignorant to the big picture.</p>
<p>And one last question: What did you mean when you said "reputations stick?" I don't think anyone's life is defined by what they do in high school, and if that's the case with you, then I'm sorry. I just can't imagine someone being ineligible at the age of 25 because when he/she was 17 they dated someone two years younger. At least, not in the world -I- live in.</p>
<p>like i said, some people need to explore the world, become open-minded. and i end my discussion here.</p>
<p>I think it's wierd, but I dated a Jr. when I was in 8th grade, and a senior when I was a freshman. Neither relationships got very serious(both under 3 months) and no _________ was involved either time. There are alot of couples with the 3 year age gap at my school..possibly because we have classes, lunch, etc together. I don't really see anything wrong with it, as long as it doesn't become a too-serious, controlling, only-for-one-thing relationship.</p>
<p>gosh I feel bad now for perpetuating this, this issue is never going to be resolved. I think its been beaten to death. Nothing left to say that will change anything. But I still stand by my beliefs!</p>
<p>switching a happier topic....</p>
<p>yay time for superbowl, wonder what the half-time show will be...
Go patriots! (and don't listen to anything about eagles from xinerz =P)</p>
<p>Yes, I surrender. One day, when you all are older, you will go, oh my gosh! I stand by my knowledge and wisdom, which one day you will all hopefully have. One last note, I live in the most liberal city in the country, and believe me, I have seen all kinds of couples, and have a very open mind and heart, believe me. I really don't care who dates whom as long as they are really mature enough to deal and on equal footing. That is all...</p>
<p>citygirlsmom, maybe one day in twenty years you will realize you are wrong. how bout the possibility of that happening?</p>
<p>we will see...I just can't wait until you all look back in time....hehehehe</p>
<p>A frosh and a senior is like heffner and his playmates. It's wierd as hell and on the outskirts of "acceptable" (or maybe legal is the better term) behavior</p>
<p>CityGirlsMom, it kind of says something about your character when you post(and argue) on a message board for teenagers. Not to mention you admit yourself to use the colloquial slang of a teenager to "relate to our level". Not only is this condescending, but it just goes to show your lack of understanding for teenagers. </p>
<p>Get a life.</p>