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This is not true. If a college student is a dependent on his/her parent tax return and the parent(s) is paying for the tuition, the parent has right to said student’s academic record without student’s consent. Just Google it. This has been talked to death on CC. </p>
<p>Some schools, like Colgate, will send students’ grades to their parents without students’ consent.</p>
<p>Your mom is over the top. Tell her no, she can’t sit in the session with you. If she feels like she has to be there, she can walk/drive you there and then go get a cup of coffee or something until it is over. </p>
<p>OP, you need to remind your mom that you are in College now, not high school, and things are very, very different in college. No, you don’t invite professors to dinner at your home. No, mommy doesn’t get to just call the Prof. and chat about her concerns. You are considered an adult now. As an adult, it is up to you to project a mature nature, and show that you are in fact up to the adult standing of being a college student. Your mom may live close to your school, but it’s YOUR school, your experience, your challenge to handle socially, academically, etc.</p>
<p>oldfort,</p>
<p>Where did you learn that Colgate sends grades to parents without student consent? That’s just untrue. Students log into the portal to retrieve their own grades.</p>
<p>Go 'gate!</p>
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<p>FERPA does not apply to all schools, only those receiving federal funds. </p>
<p>You need to explain to your mom that not only can this have a negative impact on your professional relationships with your professors and tutors, but that it crosses ethical boundaries for her, you, and all college staff involved. I’ve heard many professors say they were uncomfortable teaching family friends - how would they feel if a student’s mother starts asking them to dinner? If I were a male professor, I would view that in a not-so-casual light. </p>
<p>I also wonder if they were to decline, or if your tutor declined to help you if she showed up, how that would register to her (“Oh, so he WAS going to try something!”), which is why I’d try to avoid the situation in the first place. If she does not listen to reason, you may need to refrain from sharing your tutoring sessions, schedule, and other events with her. She can’t shield you from assaults for the rest of your life. Will she sit in on job interviews with you? Drop you off at work each morning and pick you up each night? You need to draw a line somewhere, and the sooner you do so, the easier it will be.</p>
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D1’s friend from high school, but that was few years back. They didn’t ask for her friend’s consent. When I was at Colgate (many years ago), they also sent my my grades home to my parents. </p>
<p>markham- are you certain if a Colgate parent were to request for his/her kid’s grades, the school wouldn’t give it?</p>
<p>oldfort,</p>
<p>Students’ grades are their own to share as they choose via the portal. See(<a href=“InfoShare | Colgate University”>http://www.colgate.edu/current-students/infoshare</a>). </p>
<p>Also, and this may differ from what you believed was the case years ago, grades and all other student education records are protected by the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). In compliance with this federal law, this “non-directory” information requires the student’s written consent prior to its release by a school official to any source outside the College, including parents. Colgate’s Infoshare provides a way for students to provide such consent. Students may also submit a signed FERPA waiver to the registrar’s office. Once on file, the waiver allows Colgate staff members to discuss confidential aspects of the student’s record with individuals named on the waiver.</p>
<p>This policy is sensible and fair, in my opinion. Colgate students are adults and are treated as such. If parents of college age students don’t treat them as such, well, that is a shame.</p>
<p>Go 'gate!</p>
<p>markham - Your interpretation of FERPA is not correct when it is related to parents who are paying for the student’s tuition and have the student as a dependent for tax purpose. I would encourage you to google it or search on CC.</p>
<p>oldfort,</p>
<p>I am not going there. It’s not worth the effort to me… I know what I know from the Colgate website and the Office of the Registrar.</p>
<p>In any case, by singling out and naming Colgate you are suggesting it has a unique or possibly different position on reporting of grades than other institutions. My point is that it is not and does not.</p>
<p>Go 'gate!</p>
<p>Colgate is no different than other institutions. There are MANY institutions that would share students’ information with their parents because they understand FERPA. I am a proud parent of 2 Cornellians, and I haven’t had any problem with getting information from the school when I need to. There has been a lot of mis-information about FERPA by general public. All I am saying is before you start referencing FERPA, it may be worth your while to do some research. But let me google it for you.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/students.html”>http://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/students.html</a></p>
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<p>I wonder if the school then has the right to decide whether to disclose. That quote says a lot of “permits a school,” and “the school may disclose,” and not that a school is required to disclose in such cases. I’ve read through other resources that a school may have more restrictive guidelines than FERPA to protect information. I would guess that while schools will vary, most would want a good reason to share a student’s grades. Intrusive parents often cause headache in that realm for teachers, professors, supporting faculty and the like. It may be in the school’s best interest to just say they can’t share without consent.</p>
<p>A school may have a more restrictive policy than FERPA, but parents may claim they have the right to see the student’s records. Some schools do find it beneficial to keep parents informed of their student’s progress. This is from another thread:</p>
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<p>As a parent who is paying full freight, I would want to know if my kid is not doing well in school. </p>
<p>Your mom going to your college tutoring session is even more over-the-top than the moms who buy a new house next door to their kid’s boarding school to hover.</p>
<p>Are you commuting to school? Just wondering how Mom can propose to sit in on tutoring.</p>
<p>Except for the email account and the facebook account, I think my kid allows us to access everything that is related to school, especially the bursar account. (when he was in college.)</p>
<p>It was mostly out of the necessity: we occasionally had a hard time contacting him in a timely manner. When he is unable to do something all by himself (e.g., he could not possibly pay the tuitions and other expenses by himself) and occasionally fails to tell us what we need to do by the deadline, it is a necessity that we need to have the access. It seems he did not mind as a college student.</p>
<p>He occasionally accused us of being overprotective parents though. We would love it if he could handle everything all by himself. We know that both sides like to “cut the cord”, but he needs to take care of things by himself before we can let go. It is a gradual process.</p>
<p>Even by my standards, mom is being over-protective here. If I were the tutor, I would want to meet somewhere public anyway for my own protection. (or maybe have two tutees)</p>
<p>There have been a few good suggestions about making sure it is safe. Best to find ways to reassure your mom that it is safe. But be careful. Just because she is paranoid does not mean people are not out to get you. :)</p>
<p>Are you commuting to school? I can understand mentioning to your mom that you may get additional help, but does she really need to know when, where, and with whom?</p>
<p>I would tell mom that you will be meeting in a public place and that you will let people know where you are but she is not to come.</p>
<p>Oldfort - but if I’m reading everything correctly, parents don’t have a “right,” but are rather at the mercy of the school’s guidelines. My guess is that most schools would be lenient in that respect if a parent demands to see student grades, but thinking you have a right and actually having a legal right are two different things. </p>
<p>My problem with this is that it’s not high school anymore. A straight-A student isn’t guaranteed to be a good worker, or even get a good job. The skills it takes to study and do well academically are very different from the skills it takes to succeed on the job. If it makes parents feel better about their investment, then okay. But if a parent really wants the student to succeed, then push them to take leadership roles, network, and build character during high school years. While a passing grade is mandatory to graduate, having “good grades” is really just an ego stroke for many fields that do not recruit based on GPA alone. If parents haven’t instilled their chosen values in the student by age 18, controlling them with money well into their 20’s won’t do a thing.</p>
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True, but I do have an option of not throwing good money down the drain. Some students mature slower than others, 18 is not a magic number for maturity. I have read over and over again on CC that some students, especially male students, often do not become self reliant until well after 20s. So to just become hands off as soon as student turns 18 is not always the best course. I suspect that’s why Dartmouth has the policy of sending the first semester grades to parents. Parents need to know their students before deciding “Now, I am hands off and you are on your own.” It is not so black and white.</p>
<p>I did consult a lawyer about FERPA and I was told that I could ask (demand) to see my student’s grades, and if the school should decide not to inform me when my kid is in danger due to illegal substance abuse or health issues, the school maybe in violation. I don’t think I would really want to go there with any school, so I talk to my kids and they are required to share their grades with me as long as I am paying for their expenses.</p>