<p>My roomate has a knack for sexiling me. He often does it at least 6 times a week. On the first night, he had sex with someone while I was asleep. I'm not a confrontational person nor am I the type of person to tell an authority figure. Please help!</p>
<p>You’re gonna wanna talk to him about it. Is there anything in your roommate agreement about sexiling? </p>
<p>Consider giving him a limit per week. It’s fair at all to kick you out 6 times a week. </p>
<p>Talk to your RA, it’s their jobs to help mediate roommate conflicts. Also, he can always go to the other person’s dorm room to do his business. And IMO talk to him about sex in the room while you were asleep. That’s just plain gross</p>
<p>Talk to him… “Dude, I want to talk to you about something…I hadn’t said anything before but I have been kicked out of my room 6 times this week when <girlfriend> has come over. This is getting out of hand. I think 2 times a week is cool…maybe you need to go to her room sometimes too.”</girlfriend></p>
<p>See if that works, if not, involve an RA. You can just tell them what you told us and ask if they have any suggestions. This is a chance for you to grow…to learn how to stand up for yourself.</p>
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<p>Talk to your roommate before you get the RA involved. No need to go over his head when the problem could just be miscommunication. Your roommate thinks this is fine because you never told him it’s not. No need to bring in a third party to mediate a problem one party doesn’t even know exists.</p>
<p>^I was about to say the same thing, because the first thing the RA is going to ask you anyway is whether or not you’ve talked to him.</p>
<p>The two of you need to set some mutually agreeable limits to how often he can have the room to himself (for whatever reasons) and at what times that’s acceptable. Same thing about him having sex while you’re in the room - if you’re not comfortable with that, you need to let him know.</p>
<p>Wow, I was prepared to come in here with sympathy for having a boyfriend and zero privacy in a dorm but 6 times a week is insane. You’re definitely justified in talking to him. Don’t feel bad, he HAS to be aware that it’s a lot.</p>
<p>As a college student years ago, and now as a parent, I never understood how one room mate’s “right” to have sex overuled the other room mate’s- who is paying his/her share of the housing fee- right to sleep in his/her room. Why is that room mate expected to pay room and board and have to leave to find somewhere else to sleep?</p>
<p>I also interpreted the term “sexile” to mean making the room mate leave, not doing it while the room mate is asleep- which is also inconsiderate.</p>
<p>Regardless, this is as much your room as his room, and you should not have to leave unless the two of you have an agreement about this. In addition, 6 days a week is asking way too much- that leaves you in your room only one day a week. Basically he has taken over the room. </p>
<p>There are reasons why we parents want you to have a place that is yours to sleep and study, and it isn’t just because we are naive and think this kind of thing doesn’t go on. One is because- we’re paying for it, as well as tuition, and we want you to get enough sleep to stay healthy and be able to do well in school. I would be concerned about the effect of not sleeping in your own place, not having your own space to study is doing over the long run on your sense of well being.</p>
<p>If I were your mom, I would be saying that I am not paying for your room mate’s sex life and his sex life is not your problem. Surely he is motivated to consider other options, when you or his partner’s room mate are out of the room, or you could agree to let him have the room on occasion, but not all the time, and not when you are in the room sleeping. </p>
<p>But you need to be the one to resolve this, so I would encourage you to do as others have suggested: speak up, because until you do, he is going to assume that he can do whatever he wants. </p>
<p>Yeah, your roommate probably thinks you don’t have a problem with it, because you haven’t said anything. You have to say something.</p>
<p>that is why modern forward thinking universities have or are building single rooms. just like modern hospitals no longer have 2 people in a room. </p>
<p>Any updates OP?</p>
<p>Wow, 6 times a week huh? Impressive…</p>
<p>If you feel uncomfortable about it, talk to your roommate. He should have enough respect for you to at least ask if it’s ok to have someone over, and if he wants to have sex with them he should take go to their place instead. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear people having sex.</p>