<p>I have a dilemma I need an opinion on. Due to skipping all of 7th and 8th grades and having an odd birthday, I am a university sophomore, male, age 16.</p>
<p>I won't identify major, college, or location. I'd be too easily identified just from that.</p>
<p>I've pretty much been dateless for all of high school. You would be too if you were too old for people your own age and too young for the people you found interesting.</p>
<p>That's kind of continued into college, by the way. Outside of classes, people just won't talk to me.</p>
<p>Except for one girl who seems particularly understanding. She's 20 and a classmate in my year, very shy person, very tenderhearted, and I think very much worth my time.</p>
<p>I'm trying to get up the nerve to ask her out. That said, I'd done my internet research and found I could get her into massive legal trouble just dating her, just because even though I'm over the general age of consent, they'll prosecute the older partner just because I'm under 18, she's over, and there's a 4 year spread.</p>
<p>My folks don't care. They've told me I've earned my adulthood.</p>
<p>I'm trying to think of all the possibilities before I consider opening a door I might not be able to close. On the other hand, if I keep it shut, it will be years before I find another person like this.</p>
<p>If you want to date her, ask her out. If your parents don’t care, they’re not exactly going to press charges. And there’s a very real chance that she may not even be interested. If she is, then she’s an adult and can make her own decisions.</p>
<p>I once heard from someone, “in a court of law you can make an allegation against anything or anyone, even a ham sandwich.”. In other words, it’s possible to ruin a person’s life with an accusation even if the person is innocent and even if the person is released. If I am even so much as holding hands with this girl, people are gonna think that where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and then those same people will make thier own judgement about the appropriateness and take action thereby. There’s bound to be people who will be pro or anti here. I want to hear from them, and I want to hear reasoned arguments… not just simply a fiat answer based on worship of the law.</p>
<p>I don’t think you understand how it works. Someone has to make the official complaint and it has to be your parents or you who are an injured party who can allege an assault. In order to do that, you will need evidence. Many such cases are built on the fact that someone was in power in the relationship and in a trustworthy position. </p>
<p>Very few will win such a case in a college environment. You would become a pariah in college if you ever made an allegation without real evidence since all students are considered equal despite the age discrepancy in your case.</p>
<p>Heck, I wouldn’t make such an allegation. But any college official can, since the college is a loco parentis environment. Further, the state itself can make the allegation if it sees probable cause based on preponderance of the evidence. I’m really unsure if a D/A would consider an accelerated college minor to be on an equal footing with a classmate in the same year, just because most state statutes are written so inflexibly with respect to age difference. Or would he or she just shrug and say, “nulle prosequi.” ?</p>
<p>Your college operates in loco parentis? Because so many do not, nowadays. And, there used to be statutory laws that could yield trouble, but you aren’t planning to be caught in bed, right? Are you worried about asking her to a campus event or out to dinner?</p>
<p>I have trouble getting that you researched this and are still worried. What are you anticipating? Evidence of WHAT?</p>
<p>If this were just about a 16 year old in the presence of a 20 year old gal, would you not take a ride from her, have a library study session or ask her to a game?</p>
<p>Btw, how did you get to projecting holding hands with this person whom you have not even asked out yet?</p>
<p>Who exactly is making these allegations? Why on earth would a complete stranger see two random college students holding hands and immediately cry “statutory rape”? There are many high school students who date college students without the older party being prosecuted for anything (or without any random person making “allegations” that lead to them being charged with a crime). This isn’t as unique of a situation as you seem to think it is. And even if someone does make an “allegation,” there would be absolutely no evidence that either of you have done anything wrong.</p>
<p>If you’re REALLY so concerned with this, then don’t go out with her. It’s that simple. Wait until your 18 and then everyone can make all the allegations they want about you (although, I still maintain that odds are no one at your college cares who you’re dating, except maybe your friends). People care about what you do a lot less than you probably think they do. If you can’t wait, then ask her out and see what happens. Maybe she would just rather be friends. Maybe she is interested in dating you. Maybe she doesn’t want to date some guy who’s four years younger than her. You never really know, until you ask. Perhaps, you could even be the mature adult that you think you are and have an actual discussion with her about it.</p>
<p>"Further, the state itself can make the allegation if it sees probable cause based on preponderance of the evidence. "</p>
<p>You sure have an imaginative mind if you believe this. Are you just trying to throw a bunch of verbage at people or do you actually understand any of this. </p>
<p>How likely is that any State would care about whether one of the millions of 16year olds in this country might be dating a a slightly older person who might be considered a major in the relationship?</p>
<p>I think we are all telling you that you are overthinking this with an incorrect understanding of the law and you come back with I give up!</p>
<p>Ask the woman out and make sure she knows you are 16 if she doesn’t already. Its upto her whether she wants coffee, let a alone a date, holding hands or going any further.</p>
<p>As others have said, there is no law broken unless you have sex with her. In that case, in almost every state the age of consent is 16 so it’s not a problem. I think there’s a few like California where it’s higher than 16, in which case she could only get in trouble if YOU called the cops and reported her. YOU can’t get in any legal trouble and she WON’T unless YOU try to get her in legal trouble, and then, that’s only in SOME states. In MOST states there’s no issue. </p>
<p>If you live somewhere outside the US/Canada I don’t know but it’s probably the same.</p>
<p>20 year women are almost universally not going to be into 16 year old guys, sorry. </p>
<p>Like others have said, she wouldn’t get in trouble for dating you. Depending on the state, she wouldn’t even get in trouble for sleeping with you. </p>
<p>4 year spread isn’t a big deal after your teens. However, there is a world of difference between 16 and 20.</p>