Should I give up on my daughter?!!!

<p>Four thousand dollars is a lofty goal for a summer job IMO.
I am sure it is hard decision as it would be for any parent.
I admire you for your commitment you to your daughter AND our country
Wishing you and your family the best :)</p>

<p>Has she taken any student loans out herself yet? If not how about having her take out a student loan for the $4,000. Maybe if it’s her money she will work harder in school. </p>

<p>edit.
That’s assuming she can get a loan with her gpa.</p>

<p>Oh, what a tough situation. It sounds like you have a bright D that can’t skate through college academics as easily as hs. (We did too.) She may not have enough organization skills and diligence for college. A break and a grunt job may help her, not sure. </p>

<p>If you do send her back do what we did… give her a Loan (with written contract) from parents, to pay back when school ends. For your D that could be as soon as this May if she screws up again, or it could be at graduation if she gets her act together.</p>

<p>I would try to determine whether she would be relieved to have a break to regroup while reassessing her future. Have you been able to speak to her? Whatever you decide, please don’t give up on your daughter. My guess is that she needs your love and support now more than ever. Bright motivated kids don’t set out to fail. She got in over her head and it didn’t work out. Perhaps she needs a breather to marshal her energy to move forward with the next chapter. If she truly feels that she is ready to move ahead, I would send the money (but that’s just me). But if you sense she is still in panic mode, I would lovingly suggest that perhaps it is time for a little break. But please don’t be punitive. She probably already feels terrible.</p>

<p>Don’t give up on your daughter but if she can’t cut even these beginning premed class how does she expect to get in and survive medical school? Work with her to change majors to something that is realistic for her abilities.</p>

<p>Medical school is not an issue at this point. She took care of that with her grades.</p>

<p>Letting her leave college is not the same as giving up on her. She needs support in finding a new path, and after a leave of absence, could follow it. In fact, at a new school, her GPA starts fresh.</p>

<p>Is there any chance you yourself could take a leave to help her during this break?</p>

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<p>The point wasnt so much to get the money repaid. </p>

<p>If she hesitates on bettering her own money herself then you have your answer about if this next semester is going to be successful.</p>

<p>Hugs to you.</p>

<p>My initial reaction was to NOT send the money, but then I thought of one of my kids who could fall further off-track by being pulled.</p>

<p>I’m sure getting on track is the real issue, so the question is how to do this from afar.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Pre-Med does not mean a science major.</p></li>
<li><p>Bright kids who have never had to ask for academic help don’t realize that pro-active is what is required.</p></li>
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<p>How would her Dad handle her? I don’t think taking a break is a bad idea, but if it is constantly thrown in her face that she “failed”, then more damage then good would come from the break.</p>

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<p>True, but being pre-med means you must take the pre-med core which includes a lot of weed-out science courses. </p>

<p>As one pre-med adviser said to a friend, any pre-med core courses where one pulls less than an -A such as orgo, forget med school as you’ll no longer be competitive for admission to US AMA med schools. Keep in mind this was back in the mid-'90s.</p>

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<p>Not if you’re applying to grad schools or jobs which require college transcripts from every institution you’ve attended. </p>

<p>This is one reason why several law students I’ve known were shocked at seeing their GPAs much lower than they expected due to lower grades achieved in dual-enrollment courses during HS…even if it wasn’t for college credit, summer courses, courses repeated for passing/better grades(both the failing/low grade and the higher grade are counted), or failed/mediocre graded courses from an inauspicious first stint at undergrad. </p>

<p>LSDAS will average all those grades in and the LSDAS GPA is what law schools will use to determine one’s undergrad GPA.</p>

<p>@cobrat - I agree the science pre-reqs need good grades, but Pre-Med tracks are often weeder courses. </p>

<p>What I meant was, if a student is not ready mentally to give up on the pre-med route, then the student can be guided to try other areas with the knowledge you do not need to be a Bio major or the like to apply to med school.</p>

<p>I understand that professional schools will see all transcripts, but meant that it is a morale booster to start fresh. And not everyone is going to law or medical school.</p>

<p>I think there is something going on that the mom may need to be around for, at least for a short time. The military does allow leaves for family needs, but if she is deployed, it may be harder. It is possible that something diagnosable, and treatable, is a factor. It is tough for a kid this age to figure things out on his or her own.</p>

<p>Some kids have a year like this, leave for awhile, and really do find a better way, whether in college or not, but it takes a good bit of adult involvement I think.</p>

<p>A pre-med program is tough, and you can’t bluff your way through, like in some other majors. Perhaps she is trying to be something she is not, and is biting off more than she can chew.</p>

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<p>The problem is that she ended up with a 1.7 cumulative GPA for 4 semesters. </p>

<p>This not only means she’s demonstrated a track record of not having the aptitude needed to survive the pre-med core and then med school, but also that her academic issues may extend well beyond the pre-med core. </p>

<p>If she still has med school dreams at this point, her best bet may be to switch to a major she can graduate with excellent grades and after graduating and working a year or two in a medically related field, take a concentrated post-bac pre-med program where she can devote full attention to the pre-med core…and possibly be mature/prepared enough to tackle them more successfully.</p>