I am a senior in one of the Ivy Leagues, and I have a 4.0 GPA, but I will likely get no academic awards (the Latin Honors and such) since I have a disciplinary record.
I got suspended for one semester, and apparently that ruins my chances of getting any awards. (Note I am still graduating on time since I could have graduated in three years).
To this day I still don’t agree with the disciplinary decision for what I did (I don’t feel what I did was wrong at all), but I’ll not go into details.
Graduation is coming up, but I am thinking of not going because I will feel really bad getting no awards (which are read aloud apparently) given my academic achievements.
Just go! Plenty of people don’t get awards. You know you have a stellar academic record. Your transcript says so, too. That’s all you need not public recognition IMO.
A diploma from a top school is an accomplishment with or without honors/awards. Give yourself a break and celebrate what you have done. You overcame a mistake (hopefully learned from it) and went on to graduate in 4 years. Attending graduation will give your parents to see you get your diploma and will give you a closure to your college experience.
Remember that graduation day in not all about you. It is usually an important day for most parents. Yes you did all the work but they (hopefully) supported you during this 20+ year journey. Even if they don’t want to go, I would go and celebrate with your friends.
I had a suspicion you might be dealing with “Asian Immigrant Parent Syndrome” because I couldn’t figure out why you would consider not going to graduation just because you did not getting any awards, so I looked back and it appears that may be the case. I saw where your father said he had “given up hope on you” in HS because he didn’t think your SAT scores were high enough, how you were expected to bring honor to the family, etc.
Placing that kind of pressure on a kid who had the grades and scores to get into an Ivy is something most of us find very hard to fathom. It’s far from the first time I’ve heard it, but it’s still shocking every time I do. Now I’m wondering if your father’s reaction to not getting any awards is what you are trying to avoid. So my advice is going to be a little different.
If there’s any truth to my suspicions about your reluctance to attend graduation, I’m not going to tell you to go for them, but I do hope you go for YOU to celebrate. Sounds like you came here around the beginning of HS yourself and taught yourself English and managed to graduate with top grades from one of the best schools in the world. Do you have any idea how remarkable that is? If your father doesn’t think that’s a great achievement and can’t be proud of you for that alone, I’m sorry, but he’s so very wrong.
You’re now graduating and are free to make your own way as an adult. Surround yourself with people who recognize and appreciate you for who you are, and who build you up, not tear you down. You can’t change your father, but you can work on letting go of his influence over your sense of self-worth.