I have just completed my freshman year at a small college in New England. I was very excited to begin my college experience, but I immediately felt like I had made the wrong decision. I told myself that it was just because I hadn’t found the right group of friends, but even once I had a plethora of people around, all of whom I love dearly, I still feel like something’s missing. I have wanted to transfer since half way in of 1st semester, and the feeling, although sometimes put on the back burner, never really went away.
I told my parents that I wanted to finish the year, do a semester at my community college, and then transfer somewhere else after that. However, their main concern is finances- seeing as I’m paying close to state school prices for my private school. If I lose my scholarship or don’t get awarded enough financial aid money, my parents will not let me go. Seeing as transfer students don’t typically get priority, is it worth it to stay unhappy at my current school, or take the chance and hope something works out in the near future?
You need to figure out WHAT about your current school makes you unhappy, or you risk repeating the cycle again by stumbling into another school that, for some reason, just doesn’t feel right.
As you know, merit aid is extremely rare as a transfer student so it sounds like your choices are to stay put or try to transfer to a state school. Be aware that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side – it can be hard to transfer as you will be the newcomer in a situation where most students are already established/comfortable. Unless you can pinpoint what you don’t like about your current school and why going to the state school will solve that problem, I’d stay put and try to make it work.
So how do you feel about your state college/university? Because that’s the reality: leaving your current school may mean that’s the only affordable option for you.
Until you can pinpoint what is wrong with where you are, and what will be better where you want to go, I think The Clash got it wrong in your situation.
I sympathize with the feeling of not quite finding the right group of friends, but I will be blunt … you can never be guaranteed you will find what you feel is missing. Instead of focusing on that, focus on what you should be getting out of college: academics, career preparation, leadership experiences. Excel in your classes. Get to know your professors. Go to lectures. Join a club that interests you, or volunteer. You may find what you were missing, or you may not … but you will get a great education, which is (after all) why you are in college.
So you don’t think I don’t understand, both of my kids felt there was something missing when they were in college. They had friends, but they never quite felt like it was the great, fun experience their parents had. But they survived - they got great educations - and they found their niche in life after they graduated. Life has a way of working out!
Are you getting need based aid? There ARE some colleges that guarantee to meet full need even for transfer students. They hare highly competitive for admissions for transfers, however.
Would your instate public university be a good choice?
I agree with those who say that you need to define exactly what is missing before you take any action.
Chances are good that transferring would not be advantageous for you financially, and it is questionable whether you would be happier. Don’t forget, you would have to make friends all over again.
BTW, if your college is part of any of the exchange programs, such as the 12 College Exchange, you could explore spending a semester at another school to see if it really does make a difference.
It sounds as if you had other choices last year. Do you think that one of them might have been better, and if so, why?
this sounds like a classic case of " the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence". MANY new college students go through the same thing and have the same doubts.
STOP thinking about leaving. Thinking about it in itself will “poison” your thoughts and prevent you from making the most of the opportunities where you are.
Grow where you are planted.
are you unhappy with your college cos of the course you are studying? If that’s the case then you can talk to college authorities and transfer to the course you wish to study. But if you are unhappy with the college in general, then find out what’s causing this unhappiness and try to rectify it. Hopping from one college to another will not solve your problem.
Definitely check on the academics. Is your dissatisfaction with the social/campus culture or the courses? If the academic courses are not what you need/want then you need to transfer. If the courses give you what you want take advantage of them. Check on what your instate options do in your proposed major- compare to your current school’s.
Realize most aid will be loans- is the cost worth it to you?
Way back when, I found relief from my unhappiness at a small (stifling, in my opinion) LAC by doing a program at another university. Think “study abroad” but it was study at this other big public university as a guest undergrad student in an approved program for a full year plus the summer.
In hindsight, it was the social scene at the LAC that was dragging me down. I could have thrown myself into academics, gotten more involved in the school clubs or other organizations, and I think it would have turned out alright. I don’t think I really took advantage of what was right there in front of me. I think I just sort of felt this overwhelming urge to run away, and therefore the year break at Big U.
I agree with others who pointed out affordable options are so important, and watering the grass you’re standing on. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot. This too shall pass.
Please share what your current major is, and if this major fits with your career goal.
Are there holes in your major? Not enough courses offered, not enough faculty, or you don’t think the faculty are competent ?
Have you decided you want to change your major and can’t get that new major at your current school?
Do you lack opportunities to intern or research? Is your entire student body so involved in campus wide protests that the school has effectively been shut down ?
Help us understand your situation. Dig a bit deeper. If you are going to convince your parents to let you make an expensive change, you need more fact-based evidence.
It happen with me too. You have stress about changes. It is just a general thing. It is very painful. Try to sick some support from school psychologist. It can get very frustrated. It is important for you to remember that your parents love you and they try to make a choice for you that you will appreciate later. Try not to get sick and find the solution in yourself - meditate, read a new exciting book, get a hobby. Whenever your self-conscious will be balanced again, you will be able to find new friends. Schools are wall the same good (almost), subjects are subjects (it is not math in general gets you depressed), but the change.
"If I lose my scholarship " = you will. Except in very very rare exceptions, that scholarship depends on your particular school.
Some universities offer financial aid for transfers, but usually less than for freshmen, and merit scholarships are typically much, much less if they exist at all.
So, realistically, your alternative is your State University and/or its honors college. Explore that option : how good is it for your intended major? What’s the career center like?
How much would it cost?
What would you have to do to ‘make it work’ there?
Did you have other colleges in mind?