Should I talk to HS teacher?

Parents Forum
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<p>"Yeah, only three years in the band program with significant involvement in the 4th - I’d forget about the kid too…</p>

<p>I hate it when negligent or spiteful people inflict pain on others."</p>

<p>I think it’s wrong to assume that the teacher was spiteful or negligent. It seems like the teacher took the time and effort to plan a very elaborate recognition for the seniors. The teacher did this while also handling things like the end of the year concerts and other things that have to be done during this busy time of the year.</p>

<p>Since it seems that the OP’s son was a rare exception of a student who is participating sometimes in orchestra concerts despite not taking the class, it seems very possible to me that what happened was simply an oversight. It would make sense for the teacher to use the orchestra class and list to get seniors’ names and to arrange the video to honor the seniors. Normally, that would have ensured that all seniors would be included. This time, due to the S’s unusual schedule, all seniors weren’t recognized.</p>

<p>That’s why I suggest talking to the teacher in a nonconfrontative way. I was a music nerd in high school --active in orchestra, choir and a chamber music group (one that only students who were taking the orchestra class were in) so I do have an appreciation of what goes on in musical groups and how dedicated teachers can be about their students.</p>

<p>Since the OP has not mentioned any previous problems involving the teacher, I do think that what happened was an unfortunate oversight, and the teacher will probably will be mortified at his mistake, and will do what he can to rectify the situation – if someone lets the teacher know. The “someone” could be a friend of the student. Since some students asked the OP’s son if he was a senior, it may be that one of them did let the teacher know about the oversight, and the teacher is planning to include the son at the next events. However, to make sure, I think it would be appropriate for the mom to tactfully let the teacher know about the oversight since her son doesn’t want to do this.</p>

<p>Only if the teacher doesn’t want to make amends would I assume that the oversight was deliberate and mean spirited.</p>

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<p>lololu: Wow, what a story. Sorry your S had to go through that. I am glad to hear that your S had the last laugh!</p>

<p>Northstarmom: I agree this may just be a case of oversight. The teacher is definitely not mean, but does have a tendency to play by the rules (her rules). We will not be confrontational with her at all. Maybe something like “Will my S’s name appear on the program next time? If so, will he be identified as a senior just like all the other seniors?” Then we can go from there.</p>

<p>I can’t believe I am stressing about something like this. It really isn’t about the recognition. It was the public nature of his exclusion that made me sad.</p>

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<p>I hope things work out DreamMom. I agree that your son should be recognized.</p>

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<p>Thing is son was not really upset until the other kids in the band started getting upset. Like your son he is pretty laid back and non-confrontational. I believe he was truly surprised by what the kids in the band did, in particular because the girl who gave the speech was not really a good friend, just someone he knew from band. Kids have a pretty strong sense of justice and I guess most of them just saw this as symbolic of a lot of the kind of petty little stuff the guy had pulled on them all that year.</p>