<p>I am a college freshman at a very prestigious college in a VERY urban area. I was beyond excited when I was accepted and when school began. I was a little homesick, but soon adjusted and started to form friendships. However, now that the semester is coming to an end, I'm starting to have very strong feelings that I don't belong and don't have any close friendships. I don't have anyone to confide in and am really just sad most of the time. I find the work manageable and financials are not an issue so if I made the decision I could transfer. However, I'm not sure if that's the right choice. I'm not sure if the root of my issues is being away from home or not because I am pretty homesick but I thought that had gone away before I saw that I had no close friendships. All of my friends from high school seem to have adjusted well and most people here seem to feel the same way but I simply do not. I'm thinking of joining a sorority next semester to make more friends but I'm nervous that will not do the trick. And I'm nervous to think of transferring somewhere else because I was so in love with this school and now feel displaced from it- I don't feel a part of the community. I also am hesitant to look at other schools because this really is the best of the best, and I'm not meaning to brag, I would just feel almost like a failure if I transferred to a school with lower rankings or something. Any advice would be helpful.</p>
<p>The school accepted you because they thought you could add to the community. Actually communities, because there almost certainly are many. And I think you’d prefer getting to know musicians who know nothing about basketball, biochemists who never read the campus newspaper, and linguists who are clueless about linguine. If everybody did the same things and had the same ideas, you’d get bored pretty quickly.</p>
<p>Have you ever been away from home? I went to summer camp for years, and our only way to communicate with the outside world was snail mail. So college wasn’t a huge adjustment.</p>
<p>Give yourself some more time. Friendships aren’t as quick to make as instant oatmeal. They’re more like jello, because they need to settle. (Hm, can you tell I haven’t had dinner yet?)</p>
<p>And don’t worry about school rankings. They’re just a fiction created to sell magazines and embraced by colleges as a marketing tool.</p>
<p>You seemed to be upset about the urban area. I went to one of those schools (from a small town) and ended up staying in the urban area. I’m careful, but nothing major has happened in many years. We actually have a fantastic neighborhood full of interesting people, a large public park, restaurants of all kinds, a bird sanctuary and a dog park, two car share companies, free Shakespeare during a week every summer, and our very own police detective who tweets and gives out his cell phone number. You couldn’t pay me to move.</p>
<p>Your school isn’t Hogwarts, and the neighborhood isn’t Disneyland. It’s real life. If there are half as many resources as my school had, you can find many ways to spend your time. Don’t give up yet.</p>
<p>It would help to know which school & which region of the country you are from.</p>
<p>I always tell students to refrain from transfer talk until spring semester. Many students find that when they return for the spring semester they settle in a lot better and are more familiar with people on campus making it more like home.</p>
<p>In all reality, when you go home for break your friendships with high school friends will be good but different, each holiday you go home will be different and your college will become more and more like home. </p>
<p>A lot of kids pick big schools and big cities as a place to go to school because they are excited about getting out, seeing the world, and meeting new people. There are some that just thrive off meeting people and are very social, they will go to party after party and make new friends but never make real, long term, friendships. Then there are other people that enjoy the new life at college and then realize that they don’t have the long stable friendships that they enjoyed in high school and when they look back at those friendships they see that the other people are moving on too. But people don’t talk about these feelings. Would other people know how you are feeling or did you come to the forum because you didn’t want to tell people at college because you feel like you’re the only one? No doubt, there are many more people like you. People trying to adjust and looking around seeing that everyone seems to be wearing a smile and acting like life is grand. Joining a community with other people with similar values or interest is a good start. Also, you may find that the people you live with, or around, that you never seem to spend time with will become more familiar with time. I don’t know how many times I have heard about people becoming great friends with people that were always around but they never hung out with until second semester. Second semester the new excitement of college is wearing off and you learn how to manage your time so that you don’t have the highs and lows.</p>
<p>Give it time. If after a few weeks into the spring semester you don’t want to be there, you can look to transfer then.</p>
<p>I agree with Pinnum that it is too early to consider transfering. Most of these type of problems resolve themselves on their own. </p>
<p>It also sounds as if you are somewhat depressed. Clinical depression is very common among first semester college freshmen. Have you considered going to your school’s student counseling services? It might really help. That’s what they are there for.</p>