Should I transfer

Transfer Students
1

<p>When I was a senior in high school, I was determined to leave home and go to the college I wanted to go to. I got accepted into a lot of different colleges, but ultimately, my parents pressured me to go to college in the same city that I grew up in for 18 years because of financial reasons and they thought I wouldn't succeed if I left. It was the last college that I wanted to go to.</p>

<p>I am currently a sophomore studying petroleum engineering. But I have been unhappy about my situation. Ever since I lost all of my friends from high school, I haven't been able to find people that could replace them. I tried my freshman year to engage in campus activities by going to various meetings and campus events, introducing myself to people in my classes, and so on. But because my college is a "commuter" college, I rarely see these people elsewhere. Hence, it's been hard for me to build relationships with people when you only see them once and don't see them again. The ones that I do see again, they don't even remember me.My parents tell me I'm not trying hard enough to make this place "home" but I feel like I have done everything I could. I ALWAYS initiate the conversations; no one has ever come up to me to introduce themselves. I am the secretary of a club on campus, although we mainly just volunteer. I was on a club sports team until schoolwork caught up to me. I tried reaching out to organizations telling them that I am interested in joining their committee, but they never returned my calls. I don't know what else to do.</p>

<p>After my freshman year, all I do now my sophomore year is go to class,do homework, study, and sleep.The cycle repeats itself over and over again. Working out is the only thing that keeps my sanity. I tried talking to my next door neighbors, but they don't seem interested in talking to me. I'm just really tired of this whole thing. There are some days when I don't want to go to class because this whole process reminded me of high school: study, practice on my sports team, and sleep. It's been like this for 6 years now. I figured if these people don't want to talk to me, why should I bother wasting my energy talking to them. Now that it's winter break and finals are over, I spend the majority of my day looking outside my dorm window, wondering what could have been. Minutes, hours, days go by, and I sit there alone in my thoughts. The only person I talk to is my roommate but I only consider him like a "coworker". I don't tell him all of my thoughts, struggles, and pain. All of that is kept inside of me. I don't even look at Facebook anymore, because it kills me seeing these pictures of my former friends having fun while I am stuck here doing the same thing that I have been doing over and over. Now that my best friend from middle school has just recently transferred from my school to another school, it leaves me with no one to go to. It also made me feel like it is time to go.</p>

<p>I sacrificed everything in high school so that my college experience would be better. I skipped out on friend events and social activities just so that I could concentrate on my grades and put myself in a better position to go to the college I wanted to go to. To see that not only was I not able to go to the college I wanted to go to but also how miserable I am made me feel that everything that I did in high school was a waste of time. I could have spent more time with my friends and actually try to enjoy high school had I known that I would be stuck to where I am right now. I could work half as hard and still get into the college that I am in right now. By the end of the spring semester, I will only have 2 years of college left. I feel if I don't transfer, all those years of work I did in high school would be useless. Even though it's only 2 years, it is still 2 years left that I can salvage and try to turn things around. If not, I will never have that college experience. I am positive that a new change in scenery is needed. I'm sorry for going on this tangent, but all I am writing right now is just a short sample of how I felt over the past couple of years. Do you guys think I should transfer, or should I just spend the rest of my years at the same school. Any suggestions, criticisms, or tips will be appreciated. Thank you.</p>

2

<p>I think, if you are honestly unhappy, that you should transfer. However, you should keep in mind that once you transfer things might not change. They may, but you should be prepared for the chance that they won’t. </p>

<p>I’ve struggled with similar issues for literally my ENTIRE life, and i’ve started to idolize the idea of leaving for college. If i were in your position i believe i would leave (if only to protect my sanity). Do what makes you happy b/c college is the last chance most of us get to be kids, and you should try to make the most of it. </p>

3

<p>@Iblue3 i think it’s well worth the shot. It can’t be any worse than what I have right now. This is as low as it can get for me. Thanks for the suggestion.</p>

4

<p>your welcome! ( p.s how is petroleum engineering? I’ve been obsessing over STEM majors lately since i’ll start college in the fall, any advice?)</p>

5

<p>I hated hearing this when I was depressed in college, but have you talked to a counselor of some kind on your campus? Health services helped me when I was feeling lonely and hopeless for months. Even if you decide to transfer to another college, you shouldn’t have to feel miserable while you count down the days until you get to leave for good!</p>

6

<p>You should transfer but with that said doing engineering at any university will mean sacrificing your social life. </p>

7

<p>@Iblue3 It is a lot of work. Practice is key, so don’t take more than 5 classes.
@foreverabeachbum I feel like they are only going to try to convince me to stay and suck it up.
@bomerr I do realize that, but I feel like I’m doing this all by myself. I don’t know anyone, and when I do reach out, it’s hard to find people that can be with you throughout the whole process.</p>

8

<p>Run, do not walk, to the campus health center and plop yourself down in a chair their until someone can fix you up with a counseling appointment. The counselors’ job is not to keep you at that university. Their job is to help you figure out what is the best choice for you. And yes, if the best choice is to transfer, they will help you get that job done. But before you go making any decisions, you need to start beating back the depressive feelings that you have, and a good counselor will be able to help you do that.</p>

<p>The other thing that you should be doing, is getting yourself ready for a good summer internship - or even a school year internship. Once you are busy working in your career field, a lot of other things can change too, and you mighty find the last two years at your current university to be a lot more tolerable.</p>

<p>Since you chose your university because of financial considerations, you need to know that transferring might not be affordable. Talk with your parents about the money issues. You may find that you really have no choice but to stay where you are, in which case finding a good counselor to help you deal with that fact becomes even more imperative.</p>

9

<p>@happymomof1 I guess I’ll give it a go</p>

10

<p>@happymomof1 I’ve actually applied for 15 internships. However, no one has given me in offer yet, but i’m still trying.</p>

11

<p>If you transfer with the mentality that the new university will be better than your current one then you might be disappointed</p>

<p>if you transfer with the mentality that the new university cannot be any worse than your current university then you will probably be happy. </p>

12

<p>Your college is not the right fit. Sometimes, parents (especially if they didn’t go to college themselves) don’t realize that there can be big differences between universities. Hopefully your hard work means you’re well positioned for a transfer - so, you should try. But it may not be affordable so you need to know your plan may not work. Still, no reason not to try.
Are you attending your state’s flagship? If not, that’s a first step - look into the programs there.
Some universities are also transfer-friendly even if OOS - like University of Minnesota - Twin Cities.
DO go see a counselor to talk about all this.</p>

13

<p>@MYOS1634, that is the first time I heard someone talk about “state’s flagship”. I live in Texas, so I assume that our flagship would be UT Austin. That’s the school that I am trying to get into.</p>

14

<p>The problem with commuter schools is that it is hard to create any kind of social circle. I don’t know the ins and outs of Texas but you should try to transfer to a university with more of a college feel to it, where a lot of students live on or near campus. If it’s too late to apply for next year, consider taking a gap year and try and get a job or related internship in your field. You could also take a couple other classes to fill out pre-requisites or GE.</p>

15

<p>Consider a few universities - not just UT Austin, but - depending on your GPA - St Edward’s, Southwestern, Austin College, TrinityTX, Rice in addition to the public universities; look out of state, too: UMinnesota Twin Cities has financial aid for transfers even from OOS (very rare!) and is a very strong school; Hendrix in Arkansas is a gem where students engage in research, study abroad, service projects - as is Wooster in Ohio; University of Oklahoma in Norman also has its charms, is residential, and is transfer-friendly.</p>

16

<p>@lindyk8, that’s exactly how I feel right now. My college is rarely full on the weekdays and practically dead dring the weekends. The only social activity you are going to get is if you join a frat/sorority.
@MYOS1634, ok thanks for the heads up. I’ll definitely look into that.</p>

17

<p>What major do you want? Petroleum engineering is generally limited (mostly to schools in TX and OK if I recall).</p>

18

<p>It sounds like you go to the University of Houston. If I’m right, then PM me.</p>

19

<p>@TiredQuibbler yeah I do
@PurpleTitan Petroleum is what I want, but I am also interested in math </p>

20

<p>For PetE, OK-Norman is good and the atmosphere would be different than Houston. For math, UMN-Twin Cities and Hendrix?</p>