Should your kids attend a well known, expensive private school at full tuition?

<p>happymomof1 asks,“My questions for taxguy are: Why here? and Why now? Surely you have read it all before.”</p>

<p>Response: Two reasons: first, I just had this conversation with some people that triggered my writing this post. Secondly, no matter how many times it is brought up, the readership of CC changes significantly every one or two years.</p>

<p>As for expected responses, yes, you are correct. The responses are expected. In the past, there were always parents who justified their financial decision as proof of love for children, defensiveness etc. It comes with the turf.</p>

<p>I find it an interesting phenomenon that people come here specifically for opinions on various educational topics and to get their questions answered; yet, when a thread arises such as this that they may disagree with, they counter with some extremely defensive comments and some outright attacks on the poster such as my "favorite " response, "how dare that I suggest what I am suggesting or “suggest what they need.” Again, as stated in this thread, these are my beliefs and opinions as an accountant. They are not meant to be gospel!</p>

<p>As for "Thebanker’s comments, I do agree that the major should be a factor in the decision particularly for the career goals of the child… Thus, if the goal is med school, spending a fortune on undergrad education doesn’t seem wise, as an example.</p>

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<p>I did. I said that if you are going to college only to get a better paying job, then ROI becomes very important.</p>

<p>However, there are some people for whom college is only partially an investment. It is also, or even primarily, an experience.</p>

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<p>As an accountant, why do you think it is better financially for parents to buy an adult child a house or pay for a round-the-world-cruise rather than pay for an expensive college? Both seem like consumption decisions. Neither is particularly in the parents’ best financial interest. Is there some tax implication I am not seeing here?</p>

<p>Otherwise, we are just talking about consumer preferences.</p>

<p>Many of the State U scholarships are tuition only, not true “full-rides.” Also, not every state has a truly outstanding flagship that would fill the need of a particular student. there are many, many great state schools, but they do not all offer scholarships for room and board and there is not one in every state.</p>

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<p>Not, only that, but why in the world would it be significant to a Harvard-trained cardiologist that he could have bought a nice car! paid for a nice wedding! or put a down payment on a house! instead of going to Harvard. Doesn’t he have all of those things and much more??</p>

<p>As someone mentioned earlier, this is yet another variation on the probably hundreds of threads on here about ‘will it make a difference where I go to college???..’. Obviously, this will never be a one size fits all answer. How much college your parents can afford should certainly be a factor unless you have unlimited financial resources and therefore can choose ANY college. For most applicants, that is probably not reality.</p>

<p>Attending a big name school is no more a guarantee of success then attending a local community college guarantees failure. That is simply marketing hype perpetuated by some colleges. Your ability to apply yourself once at college makes a BIG difference regardless of where you go. If you goof off for 4 yrs, chances are you will approach your career after college the same way and none of that has anything to do with your parents financial resources. I have no idea how you calculate an ‘ROI’ BEFORE choosing a college without using total guesses of future income streams which are virtually impossible to determine ahead of time. Networking is possible at any college and isn’t limited to top name schools. For example, you might be a summer intern at various companies long before you graduate.</p>

<p>At most places you will eventually be employed, you will be hard pressed to name the colleges of the majority of those you work with. Once you are on the job, where you attended school is less of a factor then how well you perform.</p>

<p>We are all just hoping that whatever choice our child/ children made that it was right. My kids went to private high schools, which we had not intended, and I was always floored by other parents talking about how their children LOVED each of the schools. Neither of my children LOVED his/her high school and I am not sure that either loves the college he/she chose. I hope that in the end they made good choices and that there are good outcomes.</p>

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<p>One can argue that one can consider ROI is a broader context beyond just the financial ROI. I.e. the experience and other non-financial gains from attending a given school can be considered along with the financial gains when determining whether a given school is worth the cost of attendance.</p>

<p>Of course, how important each type of gain is, and how sensitive one is to the costs, depends on the individual student and family.</p>

<p>Thanks for the support NJSue :-). I didn’t find it too patronizing though. It made me chuckle. </p>

<p>To explain my position a little better, I went to MIT on a free ride and stayed on for a PhD. I KNOW what kind of doors that opened. DW got a lot of FinAid at her top LAC it got her into a top PhD program. Between the two of us, we make plenty of money. No complaints. We’ve also saved for college since the kids were little and didn’t buy the most expensive house and have always bought used cars for cash, though now they are pretty nice cars that someone else paid a LOT more money for new! We both max out our retirement plans and have put together a pretty nice investment portfolio on top of that, that is different from the college fund. My mortgage will be paid off before the kids graduate college in 4 years. We donate quite a bit of money for things we care about. We take nice vacations, though I have no desire to ever be on a cruise ship. </p>

<p>Should we deprive our kids of the type of education that we received through the generosity of others because we make too much money to get financial aid? That seems basshalfackwards. </p>

<p>Will the cost of college set us back? You betcha. But we value education a lot and how do you think it would make us feel if we had to deprive our kids of the quality of education that we received - the education that gave us the unique opportunities that we capitalized on. We’ve been so fortunate that I don’t expect others to subsidize the cost of my kids’ education. </p>

<p>I realize for some, it’s a difficult choice to pay for a private school, but I expect it to make a positive difference in my children’s lives. </p>

<p>I don’t expect my kids to need me to buy them a house and a first car is pretty cheap because it will be used and I’ve gotten pretty good at getting exceptionally good ones.</p>

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<p>My H and I were both fortunate to have that experience. I want to do the same for my children. It has very little to do with any anticipated pay-out in terms of jobs (though of course I’m hopeful that it will help). I couldn’t care less if my kids wind up making $30K or $300K, as long as they are happy and content.</p>

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<p>I’m not interested in a state honors college for my kids. That’s not to say it would be the end of the world if they went to one, but it’s just not a desire. </p>

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<p>Yes (I have twins who are sophomores in college). And dare I say, part of this is likely due to the fact that H and I have elite-school degrees.</p>

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<p>Aren’t the classes for honors-students-only extremely limited? So maybe one course a semester is really challenging, while most of them are watered down enough that the party animals can manage a high enough GPA to not get kicked out?</p>

<p>Exactly, All the "party animals " are at state schools. :)</p>

<p>Suppose you are well off enough that your children won’t get any financial aid and that you can afford to pay $240K per child per degree, vs. say $100K at a state university. What about letting the child decide whether the private school is worth it? If he studies at the state university you can offer to given him $140K upon graduation (or $14K/year for 10 years). Rewarding your child for going to a cheaper school at least makes him price-sensitive.</p>

<p>S1 graduated in 05’, before some of the privates adopted better financial aid programs. We did not offer him money for future use if he went instate. Just let him know he would have to take out more loans if he wanted to go to a private (making him aware of costs to help him be "price-sensitive ). " He had athletic interest from a couple of privates, including Princeton . We did not feel we could afford it with another kid to educate after him and did not feel we could let him apply ED (which they still had then). We were full pay at UVa (which he did ED when they still had it) but that was much less than we would have had to pay then at a place like Princeton or Duke. He is making 6 figures 3 years out of college and is no worse for wear from going to a “state school.”</p>

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<p>Other people may choose to run their finances that way, but that’s not how we choose to run ours. </p>

<p>I don’t see it as – I have $60K per year per kid to give them; if you choose cheaper, you get the difference. Rather, to me it’s each-according-to-his-needs. I’m paying for a college education for each kid. If Twin A chooses the state school at $30K and Twin B chooses the private school at $60K, then I’m paying $90K. If both twins choose the private school at $60K, then I’m paying $120K.</p>

<p>I have no desire for the end amount of money to be “equal,” any more than I’d give Twin B extra money for not needing braces or glasses compared to Twin A. My desire is to meet their needs within my budget, not to allocate a sum of money to them where they get to keep the difference.</p>

<p>I think that the caliber of a Liberal Arts education can’t be matched at a state school (even University of Maryland; A GREAT school.)</p>

<p>St. Mary’s College (Maryland) is a public Liberal Arts College. Students should check it out.</p>

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<p>I totally agree with this, altho I’m not sure I can articulate exactly why. </p>

<p>If D1 orders steak for $15, and D2 orders shrimp for $17, I don’t pay D1 the $2 difference.</p>

<p>Choosing a college isn’t a money-making endeavor and should not be promoted as one, because that is not the point of the decision. The point is to find the best environment to obtain the best education, not to make money by choosing the cheapest choice.</p>

<p>I wonder how many of those anti state schools posters are from the east coast? I will say that I have been recruiting for six figure jobs for 17 years and there are many of the so called top LAC’s that I had never heard of before I came to College Confidential. Needless to say that in the Midwest this prestige issue isn’t near as prevalent.</p>

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I’m just curious: what are your desires with respect to where your kids go to college? Just that they be “happy and content,” or are there any other desires?</p>

<p>EDIT

To eliminate the issue of equality, let’s pretend we’re just talking about one kid. Can you say why you wouldn’t want them to decide what their school choice is worth in financial terms? Or is it just a feeling that’s hard to put into words?</p>

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<p>Who is anti-state-school? Just because I don’t send my kid to one does not mean that I am against them. We are talking about consumer preferences. My D could have gone to the Honors College at Rutgers. It would have been a great deal for us financially. She did not want to go, and we are financially fortunate enough that we did not need to insist. I’m quite fond of Rutgers, though, for a variety of reasons.</p>